Voyage au centre de la terre

Journey to the Center of the Earth is the story of some tourists of Hawaii, three of them siblings, and one of them a young British nanny babysitting a dog. When the siblings accidentally drive off in their jeep with the basket of dog biscuits, the nanny follows them (it might've just been safer to purchase more) all the way to the cave the siblings intended to explore (I guess). For some reason, they actually go in the cave and then, when the place starts caving in, they try to get out to no avail, except for the six-year-old sister who they tell to go get help. Meanwhile, the more they move around in the cave, the more they continue to plummet further and further towards the earths cavernous core. And behold, it is here where they find the City of Atlantis and its bizarre alien habitants who are living under the oppressive rule of one alien that doesn't want them asking to many questions about the worlds external to their own.

I see that Rusty Lemorande, the named director of the film has provided comments on this film, in which he explains that part of latter half of this film is actually the sequel to Alien in L.A. Well, whatever it was, it was an amazingly cheap movie that I would rank only slightly higher than City Limits (a 1988 sci-fi film also made on a non-existent budget) because at the least ending of this dreadful piece of mostly incoherent film-making that cuts corners where it can aims for some humor and amusement in the last 20 minutes when we finally see what life is like in the alien world at the center of the Earth. I also give it a two star rating rather than one because it was at times, funny, even if only in its subtleties. For example, the aliens asks the British girl if she's an alien and she explains that the Ministry should be sending her work visa shortly. Or when the alien girl finds Bryan and explains that he is in the city of Altantis and he mistakes this for Atlantic City, New Jersey. Little things like that make the idiocy of the first hour or so tolerable. Imagine how great the film could've been though if they had 1) actually intended to make it, and 2) actually had money to make it.

I do like how in the end, no one wonders what happened to the little sister who was sent away in the beginning to get help. She'd just be wandering around the Hawaiian caves and not too far from the erupting volcano, mind you.

Sequel to the campy, much maligned Kathy Ireland vehicle, "Alien from L.A." This time Nicola Cowper (dressing like a 1980's Cyndi Lauper/Madonna clone) stars in the lead (Kathy has a cameo) doing an "Adventures in Babysitting goes to the Center of the Earth" type of thing. Whatever you liked (or hated) about the first film, be assured there's more here. 1980's punk rock version of Jules Verne's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" can be taken for what it is but the plot at the end is very difficult to follow and ultimately falls apart. I liked the Brady-Bunch-goes-to-Hawaii theme at the beginning but the creeps at the center of the Earth (about 300 feet below the surface actually) were boring if anything at all. Looking like a live-action Saturday morning TV show from the early 1970's (think H.R. Puffenstuff) this is the type of film best watched while doing something else with a bunch of other people. Maybe a better title would be "Is This Still On?"

This movie should win or be in the category the worst film ever made. I cannot say anything good about it at all. The acting, writing, direction, scenery, and everything else is just so poor. However, I would actually recommend that you see this film just to believe that it was made. The first half of the film is about the journey to the center of the world. Then people go missing, some without any reason. Then the second half is about the lost city of Atlantis which I believe is the 2nd half of another film which they obviously thought would work together. It didn't. If you like B movies then it might be funny to you. But, to anyone else, it really sucks. Gave it 1 out of 10 because there is no option of 0 out of 10.

Supposedly a sequel to "Alien from LA". But not really anything. No plot. Not ending. Nothing. Why did actors take this job? Were they that short of money? Producers must have been pretending to fulfill a contract obligation, but produced zero budget garbage. Even as a camp comedy it fails. Don't bother.

This film is the worst film I have ever seen. The story line is weak - I couldn't even follow it. The acting is high-schoolish. The sound track is irritating. The attempts at humor are not. The editing is horrible. The credits are even slow - I would be embarrassed to have my name associated with this waste of film. Don't waste your time even thinking about this attempt at acting.