Houseboat Horror

Houseboat Horror is dreadful. Appalling. Pathetic at best. But at the same time, it is amusing to see people like John-Michael Howsen and Jim from Neighbours (remember him?) in such a dreadful film.

Of course the movie itself is not great, but that in itself is entertaining, especially if you get a few mates around and have a few drinks while watching it. Because like everything else, it's always better when you're drunk.

Or to put it simply, if you can put up with bad acting, bad filming, bad directing, bad sound, bad lighting, bad special effects, and bad everything else, you'll love it.

Often cited as one of the worst movies in Australian cinema and given its abysmal production quality and all-round general badness its not hard to see why. This is definitely unintentionally hilarious as well as being downright awful with horrendous acting, awkward camera shots, terrible writing and cheap gore effects.

The plot is about as standard as you can get with a rock group accompanied by a film crew to produce a music video at the desolate Lake Infinity, unaware that a maniac has snuck aboard their boat and one by one start getting brutally slaughtered.

Considering that it's shot on video (or SOV if you will), it isn't surprising that the movie looks grainy and dull with grey and barren locations that gives this a rather washed-out look. However despite all the flaws, there's a lot of fun to be had here with entertainingly bad death scenes, thick layered Aussie accents, horrible yet 80's crazy fashion, camp dialogue and a killer while extremely goofy yet totally lacking in any sort of screen presence.

Overall everything about 'Houseboat Horror' is bad, down to the questionable editing choices with the same scenes used more than once, the sluggish pace and the failed attempt at ripping off other slasher movies such as 'Friday The 13th', but there's enough cheesy entertainment to keep you, but there's no denying that this movie is awful and can only recommend it if you're a fan of bad movies or slasher movies in general.

Where do we start with this one?

Houseboat Horror is really a love it or hate it film. No doubt it is an extremely poor effort in filmmaking. That fact alone will alert most viewers to never allow this DVD into their player, or even their house. If you are looking for a finely crafted filmic experience, this is definitely not the film for you. I fully accept that fact.

However....if you are looking for an awesome, low-brow and incredibly stupid night of unadulterated fun, don't go past this movie! Admittedly, this is not what the filmmakers had in mind when they made this feature (and if they did, they are geniuses!). It is seriously so bad...it's good! Some of the lines are so stupid they are awesome.

To sum up: 1. The script is infantile. 2. The quality of the filmmaking is amateur hour. 3. The acting is utterly....well, let's not go there.

For these reasons, I loved watching it with a few mates (and plenty of beers!). However, I still can't give it more than a 3.

Before I begin, allow me to refer to the theory of Mr. Charles Montgomery Burns to describe my opinion about this movie.

"I don't really understand art, but I know what I hate. And I don't hate this..."

I don't really understand the appeal behind this movie. I can think of no more daggy an era than the late 80s in Victoria to locate a film. Secondly, I can't understand why a creditable actor such as Alan (you're off my detail) Dale would lend his talent to this film, having also built the image of a decent family man on "Neighbours". What I enjoy about this movie is the fact that I know no worse. Only recently, I have started becoming interested in cinema, and I have found that there is a demand for perfectionism in all films. If Kevin Smith had released "Clerks" today, he wouldn't have won a solitary award for it. That's modern cinema at work.

Only Australia could write, direct, produce and release a film like this. Only Australia could gather some very notable stars and draw from them drawl about "walkabouts" and "bar up". Only Australia would bother. So think of film as an expression of the true Australian psyche, that things don't need to be perfect. That people can and will enjoy even the most pointless and lazy film. That Australia has the most creative and surreal cinema in the world. That John Michael Houson appeared in a movie he would have canned the following day with Bert...

Yep, this film is bad. Really bad. But it's worth watching just so the next time you watch Gavin Wood on the Lotto draw on Saturday nights, you can laugh at the memory of his acting performance. Incidentally, this film is so bad it was featured by D-Generation members on The Late Show back in the 90s, in a "Is this the worst film ever made?" type review. Although a possible runner-up in the Worst Australian Film category could be the Day/Strike of the Panther, two appalling martial arts films shot in Perth. I have no idea how they got the funding for the second effort!