Fast Food

Well, this was hard to get through. I remembered Clark Brandon from the 80s (playing Jo's boyfriend on Facts of Life and Bobby's friend in 'My Tutor') and when I saw that he also wrote the screenplay I was intrigued. For about ten minutes. I was sitting there with a friend and basically talked out the dialogue it was so obvious.

The whole premise of the film is that a struggling burger joint start-up comes up with a way to increase business, by spiking their special sauce with an aphrodisiac. Then the FDA comes in and they get in trouble. This could have been interesting, seeing it today in 2012 because it is known that fast food companies put addictive chemicals in their food and there could have been a deeper or more political moral of the story.

But nope, this film was all over the map, obvious, sometimes embarrassingly stupid (I was never a fan of Jim Varney and he wasn't HORRID in this, but still not funny to me in any way).

I wouldn't recommend this, but I did get through it. There are some films that I can't even get through, and this was close.

Finding themselves "not qualified to do anything" after a lengthy college stint, two best friends establish their own fast food joint and spike the secret sauce with a powerful aphrodisiac to promote business in this little-seen comedy that falls halfway between college comedy and food industry satire. Much of the humour is very low-brow and some of the performances (in particular a monotone Don Ferguson as the stern college dean) are downright awful, however, the film offers some food for thought (pun intended) in terms of the hardness of landing a job even with a college degree, as well as the competitive nature of the fast food industry. Jim Varney is delightfully zany as a rival fast food proprietor, and while some of his vocal mannerisms are over-the-top, he has several wacky moments riding toy horses (!) and constantly asking for spare change while maintaining a straight face. Kevin McCarthy (of 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' fame) comes off best though as a no-nonsense judge in the film's final act. Solid as McCarthy is though, it is hard to deny that the film ends on a low note with a resolution that comes across as a little too swift and easy for credibility; a predictable romance and a smug main character also weigh against the film. Never to mind, there is enough zaniness throughout 'Fast Food' to keep things chugging along, from a makeshift casino to a couple of medical students conducting a bizarre sleep monitoring experiment to Varney's humorously pathetic television commercials. It is best advised though to not go in expecting a hidden gem.

One of the better late 80's movies I've EVER seen!

This film begins with two college students named "Auggie Hamilton" (Clark Brandon) and "Drew Taylor" (Randal Patrick) getting kicked out of college due to their constant schemes to get rich quick by breaking all the rules. At first, they're not sure what they want to do in the real world, but when Drew's cousin "Samantha Brooks" (Tracy Griffith) begins thinking about selling her father's gas station over to a fast-food businessman named "Wrangler Bob Bundy" (Jim Varney), Auggie sees an opportunity and convinces her to convert it into a burger joint instead. However, Wrangler Bob is not someone who admits defeat easily and he soon becomes even more determined to have that piece of property--one way or the other. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I remember watching this movie when it first came out and, even though it's been over 30 years ago, I still find it to be quite entertaining today. On that note, I especially liked the performance of Jim Varney who excelled in his role and almost dominated every scene he was in. Likewise, having two beautiful actresses like Traci Lords (as "Dixie Love") and the aforementioned Tracy Griffith certainly didn't hurt either. Admittedly, it has lost a bit of its charm through the passage of time, but I still found it to be rather enjoyable and I have rated it accordingly.

Tracie Griffin, Michael J. Pollard, Tracie Lords, Kevin McCarthy, and Jim Varney do not save this specious squander. Locations in Atlanta, Georgia do not save it. Everyone looks as if he or she drifts through a plot made-up of fragments perhaps borrowed from much better movies or from Mr. Varney's entertaining commercials.

The movie is not quite awful—as least not as bad as movies I have judged awful in other reviews. Somehow, I think that this film might have made it with just a bit more effort in writing the script and a tad more flair in—well every other aspect of making a movie. Michael J. Pollard shrugs frequently during the movie. That is a good symbol for the quality of the script, music, acting, editing, film work, and any other aspect. No one seems to care much for the effort other than to bring it all to an end—the movie does end but not with sufficient quickness for my taste.