La dolce casa degli orrori

Normally, I wouldn't expect anything from a made for TV Italian horror flick; but this one was directed by the great Lucio Fulci, and his first entry in the House tetralogy (a collaboration with Umberto Lenzi), House of Clocks, was a nice little film and so my expectations went up for this one. However, it has to be said that The Sweet House of Horrors is one of Fulci's very worst efforts, as the only really striking thing about it is a pair of irritating kids who, combined, rival the awful Giovanni Frezza in Fulci's House by the Cemetery for sheer irritation. The plot focuses on a house where a couple were murdered. However, it's not the end of the line for them as the dead people return to get revenge for their murder, protect their kids who are still living in the house, and to prevent the house from being sold. The way that the film plods out is almost completely devoid of interesting scenes, and strangely Fulci puts the focus on the kids and it makes the film seems almost childlike. The gore that Fulci is famous for only really appears in one sequence, and it's not even that good as it just feels out of place in the context of the film. Fulci made some brilliant horror films over his vast career; but this isn't one of them. Not recommended.

A murdered couple return from the beyond to care for their two young children, as well as seek revenge against their killer, accept their children's step parents, and try to prevent their house from being sold.

So, Lucio Fulci made two television films around 1989. "House of Clocks" is the other one, and sad to say it is the superior one. This film lacks the gore, the horror and the things we typically associate with Fulci. While it tries to build a fantasy world around the children ,it never seems fully successful (though I confess part of my problem was the bad dubbing on the kids).

Given the framework Fulci was working in, it is not a bad film, but it is not one of his more memorable and comes off as fairly bland. I would not call this his worst film, but it clearly is not among his best.

A couple moves into a nice country mansion to care for their niece and nephew after the children's parents are brutally murdered one night returning from a cocktail party. Strange things begin happening so the couple decide to take the children away and sell the house. But it soon becomes apparent that the house is full of spirits that are out for revenge and have some sort of connection to the kids.

This Lucio Fulci made-for-Italian-TV horror isn't one of his best to be sure but it does seem to have a bit of its own charm. The overall story is a bit nutty (a murder thriller with a supernatural twist) but I thought decent enough. The English dubbing was God awful as most of these imports tend to be so the acting comes off as uneven and even hilarious. But Fulci fans should check it out just because and those with a fondness for little cheesy a la Italiano might be interested too. 2 of 5

A couple is killed in an extremely sadistic way, but their souls return to their two orphaned children to caress them, to take revenge on the killer and to mock the relatives who want to sell the house and the one who wants to buy it respectively. Sounds odd for a Fulci movie, doesn't it?

And it really is kind of odd. It starts like a typical Fulci-gorefest with the murder scene which has to be seen to be believed, especially when one considers this one was made for TV. But after this unbelievably violent prologue, the whole thing turns into a fairy tale. There are even scenes that could come right out of a typical Italian slapstick comedy! So, "La Dolce Casa degli Orrori" is an extremely strange mix of genres, and most of the special effects are very cheesy, although the murder scene is outrageously disgusting.

It's not bad, but by far inferior to Fulci's other film in the four part TV-series Houses of Doom, "La Casa nel Tempo", which is terrific (the other two are by Umberto Lenzi and called "La Casa delle Anime Erranti" and "La Casa dei Sortilegi").

In my mind there's an eternal debate ongoing about who my favorite director of all times is. Mario Bava, ...or Lucio Fulci. Whenever I lean towards Fulci, I deliberately exclude some of the titles he directed in the final years of his career. "The Sweet House of Horror" is perhaps the worst, but it's still a genuine Lucio Fulci; - meaning there's extreme gore! And that is peculiar because it's made-for-television with a child-friendly plot.

The start is quite dramatic, with a happily married couple coming home from a night out and stumbling upon a violent burglar who murders them. Of course, in Fulci's world, this means that the husband repeatedly gets his head banged against a marble pillar until his brains are stuck to the wall, and the wife is bludgeoned with a kitchen object until her eyeballs pop out. Classy! The couple's children - Marco and Sarah - are supposedly heartbroken, but they blow bubblegum bubbles at the funeral and appear to be giggling the entire time. Auntie Marcia and Uncle Carlo take custody of the kids and move into their house, but the actual parents return as well, as ghosts and flickering flames, to punish their killer and to prevent their house from being sold.

The aforementioned kills, plus the nasty death of Guido under a truck and a bizarre melting moment during the finale, are the only highlights. The rest of the movie is almost painful to watch, with terrible acting (and even worse dubbing), especially the children. Fulci doesn't bother to keep the killer's identity secret for long, and he gets what he deserves after half a movie already. Why did he bother to wear a mask, anyway? The other half is stuffed with sentimental appearances of mum & dad, shenanigans with bulldozers and obese real-estate agents, and meaningless glowing stones.