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Assault of the Party Nerds (1989) is a low budget fraternity comedy. Lambda Alpha Eta only has four members in their fraternity. All for members are due to graduate soon. Rich gets the idea that they need to give a party to recruit some new members so there can still be a fraternity after the four men graduate.

There's the typical jocks vs. Nerds storyline as well. The jocks rely on Rich to cheap on their exams. One of the jocks fails his midterm and is determined to get revenge.

Assault of the Party Nerds is exactly the type of thing that would air on USA Up All Night. Popular B-Movie icons Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer are in this. I would probably have probably enjoyed the movie a bit more if the DVD was better quality. The picture quality on the DVD is rather poor.

The fraternity of Lambda Alpha Eta is in danger of becoming extinct, as the only 4 members are all graduating college at the end of the year. So naturally they plan a huge party while battling the gayest most annoying jocks ever put on mainstream celluloid. If I hear the phrase 'kick his ass' one more time, i'll go insane. This z-grade "Revenge of the Nerds" clone is sadly very low on laughs, and has one of the worst theme songs in recent memory but the more masochistic fans of '80's scream queens Quigley and Bauer should still check it out. And even then, do so very VERY hesitantly. Followed by a sequel that one would hope is better, because quite frankly you can't get much worse.

My Grade: D-

DVD Extras: Director's commentary; Bloopers; slide show (with nudity); Interviews with Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Richard Gabai, & one with all three; Music video; and theatrical trailer

Eye Candy: Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, and Tantala Ray all get topless

It's not very different than those endless National Lampoon movies of the 90's made to appeal to male college kids who sit around drinking beer all weekend.

The "hot" girls are all pushing 40's and not so hot and one was actually pregnant during filming. Talk about a buzz kill.

It's a ridiculous movie a few steps above similar flicks made by Troma, but that's not saying much. The writing is moronic at best.

Artie Johnson of Laugh-In fame must have needed the money because he appears in it as Mr. Witherspoon. He's the only recognizable actor in this flick.

I can't say I was bored. I couldn't get that involved in the movie. But I can't say I liked it either.

Assault of the Party Nerds is a fun movie. Yeah, it's full of "b" movie actors and the story in not to today's standards, but this movie isn't that bad. It's a cool movie that you can just sit back and watch. It's one of those movies you can watch and you don't have to think; just watch it. It has some funny parts and it's a shame more people don't like it.

It's hard to know what to say about "Assault of the Party Nerds", so I'll just describe what I think was the plot:

Four nerds (actually more like two nerds, one cool guy, and one balding hippie) want to throw a party and invite some babes (Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, and some other girl). There are some jocks who apparently make-up an equally underpopulated fraternity elsewhere who are probably the bad guys.

They have their party. Movie over.

There are topless scenes from Bauer and Quigley (of course), though the other blonde woman regrettably keeps her clothes on. Late in the movie there is the unexplained arrival of some broad who looks like a playboy bunny... from perhaps the year 1954. Yeah, she's a little past it, but she shows her boobs anyway.

The movie just felt like shots of the movie's three main groups sitting around, talking. First, the nerd house. Then the girls. Then the jocks (one jock is always depicted lifting weights, perhaps to hide the fact that his physique doesn't really fit the role).

Then there's the party.

I'm not sure what the title was supposed to indicate. It was obviously just a cash-in on "Revenge of the Nerds". There's no "assault" in this movie.

I do give it credit for one thing, though: there's a sex scene with one of the jocks and Linnea Quigley, with Linnea moaning and groaning and carrying on, just long enough for you to realise that she is supposed to be obviously faking, and then we see the jock, lying back, uninvolved. It felt like a sly wink to regular viewers of b-grade cinema who always find the sex scenes fake; like the filmmakers are saying, "they are, aren't they?"