Zombi 3

I can't even began to write a review on this movie as my i.q. has dropped so sharply after watching it. Everything about it, from the atrocious acting to the recycled theme played throughout spoke of utter garbage. It's a miracle we made it all the way through the movie. Weapons are randomly placed throughout the town such as a crate of machine guns in the basement of a motel or a grenade under a jeep that had the blast radius of an atomic bomb. Don't even get me started on the dialog. It was garbage, garbage, garbage!!! For some reason the characters felt they had to spell out everything for us. Like when their car would break down they would say "Looks like our car broke down. I'm going to go to that abandoned gas station right over there and see if i can find some water" - this brings me to my next point - the director's obsession with water. At least three times the characters would wander off alone in search of water as if it was a miracle cure for the zombie disease. It's killing me to write this so i have to stop now. A warning for all those planning to see this movie: don't. You will walk away a mindless, babbling zombie yourself.

This Italian, tropical ripoff of "Return of the Living Dead" by Lucio Fulci and Bruno Mattei was an awful, awful movie, but the story of its troubled production is much more interesting than the film itself.

Back in the 80s, some Italian filmmakers figured out that you could hang out in the Philippines to make movies incredibly cheap, all while blissfully ignoring every OSHA rule in the book. None were more successful at this than the studio employing director Bruno Mattei and writers Claudio Fragasso and Rosella Druidi. They made "Terminator 2" (no connection to Terminator), "Cruel Jaws" (no connection to Jaws), and countless other crazy, ballsy knock-offs of Hollywood hits. But their producer suddenly had a bout of ambition and wanted to produce a sequel to Lucio Fulci's legendary "Zombi 2" (which itself had no connection to Zombi, Italy's rename for Romero's "Dawn of the Dead"). So he dispatched Fragrasso and Druidi to Italy to write a script for "Zombi 3" and convince Fulci to direct it. Amazingly, they succeeded on both counts.

However, the problems began as soon as Fulci arrived in the Philippines. First, he was handed a budget many times smaller than he had been promised -- too small to complete the script as he, Fragrasso, and Druidi had envisioned it. Preparation was all over the place. He also had terminal liver cancer and other health problems, and the tropical heat and humidity was almost more than his failing body could handle. There was even an armed revolution going on in the country during the shoot, though not near the places where they were filming. In the end, the movie Fulci shot was still only about 70 minutes long (too short for the 90-minute minimum), so in a moment of legendary pettiness, he apparently filmed 20 minutes of footage of characters rowing canoes around and hopped back on a plane to Italy with two middle fingers proverbially in the air at the Filipino/Italian producers.

The producers were horrified at the extended canoe footage, which they knew was unusably boring, so they asked their mainstays Mattei, Fragrasso, and Druidi to do their magic and somehow redo enough of the movie to finish it. This required Fragrasso and Druidi to add scenes that fit with what Fulci shot -- but not the expensive scenes that they originally envisioned that had to be cut. They had to come up with something new on the spot to fit the bastardized end product. Somehow, they succeeded. Meanwhile, Mattei had an even bigger problem -- of the entire cast of the original movie, he was only able to convince 2 or 3 actors to return to the Philippines to do the reshoot. Amazingly, like an absolute madman, he managed to successfully add 20-30 minutes to the movie using only those three actors, an extended prologue, and many scenes with masked military personnel. Against incredible odds, the movie was successfully finished and released.

To be clear, it's a TERRIBLE movie, and not especially enjoyable even in the "so bad it's good" kind of way. "Zombi 3" has excellent makeup and special effects and a killer soundtrack, but those aren't enough to counteract its negatives. There is zero internal consistency with what the zombies can do or how they behave, disbelief gets snapped so often that it sounds like a bowl of wet Rice Crispies, and many scenes with the masked military personnel have them lining up like they're almost too tired to walk before lining up to shoot down zombies. (In that heat, wearing overalls, it was entirely possible the exhaustion was real.) In the commentaries I watched after the film, everyone gives Fulci credit for the heart and soul of the film... which, if I were them, I wouldn't want to claim it, either. It should not be possible for a movie with this many explosions and death to be tedious, but somehow it manages it for long stretches. Yet, at the end of the day, it's a *finished* film, and I believe one that made a decent profit.

In my book, this movie is a true credit to Mattei, Fragrasso, and Druidi, and a black mark against Fulci. I am far less impressed by the lackluster film he mostly put together and left to rot than by their herculean rescue of a seemingly-doomed project. Sometimes the ones who get a production over the finish line are not the sensitive artists, but the commercial workmen with a gift at getting things done on time and under budget... no matter how many zombies, actors, and vital plot points they have to blow up to do it. If you see this film, I highly recommend the outstanding release by Severin Films that contains extensive behind-the-scenes commentaries that tell the tale I mentioned above, plus more besides.

Off the blocks let me just say that I am a huge zombie fan so I don't make statements like the above lightly. Secondly let me say that this is an Italian zombie film and Fulci only directed 15 minutes of it before handing over to Bruno (Rats, Night Of Terror) Mattei. This is no Dawn of the Dead folks.

That said this is easily one of the most entertaining zombie films I have ever seen.

The script is wonderfully horrible. Just check out the two scientists trying to find an antidote ("Let's try putting these two molecules together").

The zombies come in all varieties. From moaning shufflers, to machete wielding maniacs, to birds!

The gore is plentiful. Legs are bitten off, arms amputated, stomachs burst open.

The pace is fast, flying from one zombie attack to the next.

Then there's the head in the fridge. Oh the head in the fridge! One of the greatest moments in horror since Ash got his hand possessed in Evil Dead 2.

You should know already whether you're the sort of person who's going to like this sort of film. Get some mates and some beer and you'll be in for a fun night.

Did I mention the head in the fridge?!?!?

From the word go, Zombie Flesheaters 2 (AKA Zombi 3) makes very little sense, but thankfully it's one of those trashy 80s Euro horrors that is so shoddy in virtually every department that one cannot fail to have some fun with it.

Just one look at the film's pedigree is enough to give a pretty good idea of how crap (and therefore how enjoyable) this film actually is: Lucio Fulci, fast approaching his end-of-career worst, directed some of the action before a stroke forced him to hand over the reins to Bruno 'Hell of the Living Dead' Mattei; actor turned TV director Deran Sarafian leads the incredible no-star cast; and Claudio Fragasso, the man responsible for Troll 2 (considered by many to be the worst horror film ever made), provided the derivative, nonsensical plot that gleefully rips off a variety of zombie/infection classics, including Romero's The Crazies and Dan O' Bannon's Return Of The Living Dead.

The cause of the zombie plague in Zombi Flesheaters 2 is a top secret genetically engineered virus called Death One, which is accidentally introduced into the atmosphere after a victim is cremated (on the orders of a contemptuous general, who ignores warnings from concerned army boffins, accusing them of "talking science fiction!"). Pretty soon, the area is not only crawling with flesh hungry reanimated corpses, but also squads of haz-mat suited soldiers who have orders to contain the virus by any means necessary—which isn't exactly great news for the small group of survivors trapped inside the contaminated zone (which, within a single day, has become inexplicably derelict and overgrown with vines!).

Lacking any sense of logic, the film stumbles awkwardly from one daft scene to another in a shambolic manner that makes its mouldy walking corpses seem positively well coordinated in comparison. For connoisseurs of extremely trashy horror, this can only be good news, with the complete absence of rationale resulting in some mind-bogglingly bonkers moments: zombie birds attack a bus full of babes; a severed zombie head, shrouded in an eerie green light and smoke, flies from inside a fridge to chow down on a man's throat; a survivor discovers a box full of weapons in an abandoned building ("I found a crate full of guns downstairs," he casually declares); a lady is attacked by an unborn zombie baby that tears its way from its mother's womb; and a hand grenade, conveniently found under a truck, not only knocks down several of the undead but also destroys an entire building!

Factor in some truly awful acting, unconvincing gore, dreadful direction, zombies that can talk, jump, fight, and use weapons, and a jive-talking radio DJ who joins the ranks of the living dead, but still carries on hosting his show, and what you have is one hell of a mess—but one that really needs to be seen to be believed.

It doesn't really deserve it, but I'll give Zombie Flesheaters 2 a rating of 5/10 just for being a genuine one-of-a-kind experience.

I am an avid fan of Lucio Fulci, and yet I must say that "Zombi 3" (aka. "Zombie Flesh Eaters 2") of 1988, which he made with two other directors, Bruno Mattei and Claudi Fragasso, was quite a disappointment. Especially compared to its great predecessor, Fulci's very own Gore classic "Zombi 2" (aka. "Zombie Felsh Eaters"/"Zombie") of 1979, this is vastly disappointing. Sure, the low rating of 4.5 already suggests that it's not a good film, but, these low ratings usually come from people who are not into Italian Zombie flicks, and as enthusiastic fan of Italian Horror films and low-budget Exploitation cinema, I love many films that have only been rewarded with much lower ratings. Also, many of my fellow Italian Horror buffs seem to think of this film as underrated, which I sadly cannot agree with. Not that the film was a complete disaster. It has some redeeming qualities, above all Fulci's nauseating gore effects, that are always a pleasure to watch for an Italian Horror/Gore buff. The basic idea behind the film is also not bad (allthough far from original) and I liked the ruthless portrayal of the military. Sadly, that's about it. While the great predecessor "Zombi 2" was extremely gory, but beyond that also genuinely creepy, this is not creepy or scary for a minute, and the nauseating and often grotesque gore is the only true reason to watch "Zombi 3". The film is sometimes fun to watch, but only for the gore, and as an unintentional comedy. I guess that it was mainly the gore that came from Fulci, and the disappointing rest that came from Mattei and Fragasso, the first of which was involved in a bunch of nasty cult-flicks (such as D'Amato's "Porno Holocaust"), and the second of which is responsible for one of the worst movies ever made, the god-awful "Troll 2". Overall, this is definitely watchable for the gore, but, out of all Fulci films I've seen so far, this is definitely the worst, and I've seen the majority of this great filmmaker's repertoire. I am a Fulci fan, and I always will be, but this sure isn't his magic moment. It may be fun for the gore, but I recommend to watch any other Fulci film before this!