Space Mutiny: La Guerre du futur

Watching "Space Mutiny" is the metaphorical equivalent of drinking cat urine...there's no way it can be any good for you, so why even try?

The special effects in this film are, I'm not kidding now, stock footage from Battlestar Galactica (played backwards, in some cases), or shot on what appears to be low-resolution video using models probably built from discarded "He-Man" toys. Unfortunately, that's about the best thing in the movie.

The acting...my God, the acting...I have NO idea who came up with this dialogue. Reb Brown is ridiculous, John Philip Law is absolutely NOT to be believed, and the rest of the cast, as well as the costumes, look like outtakes from an episode of Buck Rogers! (The second season...the really STINKY one!) The whole damned thing looks vaguely like a fever dream I had as a child after drinking sixteen cans of "Jolt"...and it's equally incomprehensible. My God, they actually announce the arrival of a pirate fleet by having some dope on a microphone say, "This is the pirate fleet...surrender or be turned into astro-dust." I think they shot the whole thing in a brewery with Go-Karts and used the same shot of a hops bin blowing up no less than four times. This movie has to be seen to be believed. I actually bought a copy for three dollars, just so I could show my friends that I was NOT making it up. Run, don't walk, away from this film.

0.0 stars out of a possible five.

There are so many comments on this, that it seems futile to do one of my own, but I do want to have a footprint of all the movies I see, so here it goes.

This movie is like those Jackie Chan films where the bad oiled hair European guy is laughing maniacally while torturing people and Jackie Chan kicks his ass. But instead of Jackie, you have a blond steroid addict that cries like a girl every time he does something. The action is placed in a big industrial warehouse and from time to time we see space scenes completely stolen from BattleStar Galactica. The commander of the space station looks like Santa, acts like Santa, but doesn't give one present the entire movie. The only special effects are colored beams and explosions. The final scenes show two electric cars colliding and exploding.

This is a truly bad film and it deserves its mark of 2 to put it in the Hall of Awful movies.

Run, don't walk! Use those pneumatic catapults that launch jumpsuited terrorists through the air to escape this drivel. This movie shows just how limiting a small budget and a lack of imagination is. Footage lifted from Battlestar Galactica is edited into something that resembles a story. Can't really tell. There's a large slab of beef walking around that's supposed to be our hero. Santa Claus commands this barge with the help from Sting. His daughter looks like Sheri Lewis gone bad and they fight the evil Calgon! Watch this one on MST and watch for the dead girl who comes back to life and resumes her post on the bridge.

Yeah, the film industry is not what is was when Ed Wood was directing, and B-movies don't get released in theaters anymore; but they do get released on video. And we should be glad that they do, at least in the case of Space Mutiny, 'cause it may be the single most unintentionally hilarious movie ever made. Don't believe me? Just take a look at these numbers:

# of times our ostensible "hero" screams in panic: 17

# of jumpsuited extras flung into the air with pneumatic catapults: 14

# of insertions of "Battlestar Galactica" footage: lost count around 40

# of previously seen shots edited in:15

# of times the Enforcers refer to each other as "idiots": 7

# of off-the-shelf glowing balls in the Bellarian scenes: 8

# of times Ryder or Kalgon yells at someone to "MOVE!" or "GO!": 26

# of occasions Kalgon starts laughing for no apparent reason: 18

# of minutes you get to watch grown men trying to kill each other with golf carts: 5

# of railing kills: 24 (may have missed a couple)

Don't pass up a chance to see this; one of these days, someone involved with it is going to get embarrassed enough about it to try and have all the copies destroyed.

I must agree with that quote. This movie royally sucked. The plot and acting are terrible. The special effects are somewhat good, but they are ripped off from Battle star Galactica. The MST version of course rocked. That's where I got that quote which was just hilarious. I will say one good thing about this movie: It was awfully nice of them to give that dead woman a second chance.

Anyway, this movie was terrible and deserves to be on the bottom 100. Never watch it without Mike, Tom Servo and Crow.