Ratman

David Warbeck was a likable, energetic screen personality, but he deserves the John Carradine Lifetime Achievement Award for his sanguine eagerness to appear in ANY project thrown at him with a promise of fifty bucks. Case in point would be THE RATMAN, a vagrant little Eurochiller which inexpertly illustrates the bloody rampage of death and destruction brought forth by a two-foot tall poisonous were-rodent.

The midget actor in the titular role is actually quite frightening looking. He's EXTREMELY small, and costumed with claws and razor-sharp incisor teeth. Regrettably, he's the only point of substantial interest this film offers(besides the presence of David Warbeck, of course).

THE RATMAN is scantly agreeable fodder, and does manage to bring on the creeps once or twice...still, it's ultimately just another bump-and-grind monster mash scored with lousy synth music.

4/10

Inspired by a song written by the Fall on their Totales Turns album, Ratman is a late era Italian horror thankfully devoid of haunted houses, but unthankfully full of boring stalk and slash sequences.

A scientist on some tropical island has successfully managed to get a rat to breed with a monkey, somehow, and produced a rat monkey capable of poisoning anything it scratches within seconds. This creature of course has escaped and is now chowing down on anything it can get it's teeth into.

This includes the bunch of fashion models led by Werner Pochtath (Days of Hell, Cat o Nine Tails), and his main model, Eva Grimaldi (Demons 5). After another model is stalked and killed and mistaken for Eva, her sister Janet Agren (Eaten Alive) goes looking for her, helped by legend David Warbreck (The Last Hunter, The Black Cat). And basically the film turns into Warbreck and Agren doing the old research on what's happening, and Eva trying to avoid being killed for the remainder of the film. Kind of like Tonino Ricci's Panic, also starring Warbreck and Agren.

Directed by Guilliamno Carnimeo (director of the great Case of the Bloody Iris and numerous Westerns I've never got round to watching) Ratman is full of cheese, but it's also full of boobs and gore, so really, where do your priorities lie? This one doesn't go down the old haunted house road as a lot films do from this era, but on the other hand it becomes quite slasher-tastic in the old 'folks trying to hide from a killer' routine. I have the hiccups. It's really annoying. Really annoying. My wife has a remedy for it but she's in bed.

Forget this film/ Do you have the hiccups? I hate the hiccups. Makes my stomach hurt from##jpepw;/ O cast/muppets

Somewhere in the Dominican Republic, a scientist creates a cross between rat and ape, which is poisonous and feeds on human flesh. Of course, the creature escapes and starts to kill everywhere. The sister of a missing model and an author of television crime stories start to investigate on their own and follow the monster's bloody route...

This was one of the last "big" Italian gore shockers and has all the ingredients we've come to expect from such films as it is sleazy, sexist, gory and stupid as hell (heck, the scientist even wants to win the Nobel price for his monster!). The creature itself is, and that's a bit of a surprise, astoundingly scary (and ugly, too). However, as we can see the monster before it escapes and starts its killing spree and the director seems more interested in showing tits and gore than anything else, there's not much of suspense in the film. However it was nice to see the return of Italian horror film veterans David Warbeck and Janet Agren. A movie for fans.

Seriously fun little Italian sleazefest by former spaghetti western director Anthony Ascott. His "Sartana" films were filled with nifty little gimmicks, gizmos, devices, contraptions and bizarre cinematic flourishes that set the films apart from the pack. Here his little wind up gimmick is a despicable marvel of exploitation monster mania that must be witnessed to be believed. Watching the poor little rat man claw apart the half naked female supporting players is where the heart of the film lies. It delivers the goods, doesn't apologize about what it is & gets the job over with a bit of style in under 85 minutes. None of it is really scary but a lot will make your flesh crawl, and probably laugh.

One idea that keeps coming to mind is about how the film is a study in applied bad taste right down to the wince inducing use of a real life deformed person in a freakshow role. Such things cannot be enjoyed in good conscience without beer which is used in the presence of friends: It's a howler of a party movie and a guilty pleasure to be enjoyed at times when you just want to marvel at how absurd the human species can be. I don't defend this movie for a minute but I sure am in awe of it, which in some cases will have to do.

7/10

I just gotta wonder how the filmmakers pitched this one to Nelson De La Rosa (at 2' 4" he is considered "world's smallest actor" and the lead in the film). I can just picture it now..."OK Nelson - we've got this REALLY great role for you. I know you've been trying to break into serious acting for a while now, so we're gonna give you the role of a life-time...are you ready for this?...you're gonna play a rat/monkey hybrid freak!!! Isn't that just perfect???". Well, however that meeting went, it obviously worked cuz De La Rosa DOES in fact play the ill-named RAT MAN (which I STILL don't understand, being that he is supposed to be portraying a rat/monkey hybrid - I guess RAT MONKEY just doesn't have the same "ring" as a film title...) and does so pretty competently for such a goofy film.

As you've probably gathered by now...the film revolves around a rat/monkey (or RAT MAN if you prefer...). The thing was created by this strange doctor for...well...for no real purpose at all. This doctor seems to be delusional as he said he was planning on winning the Nobel Prize for his "achievement" - but last I heard, they don't typically give out Nobel Prizes for the creation of murderous hybrid freak creatures, although I could be wrong. Anyway, the rat/monkey gets loose and starts killing people all over the Caribbean island that they're on - and let me tell you - this little bastard really get's around. From the beach to the jungle to a deserted village - you just can't stop the rat/monkey. When a model turns up dead, her sister is called in to ID the body - but it turns out to be the wrong girl (OOPS...). The woman stays around to look for her sister who is supposed to be doing a photo shoot in the jungle. The woman is accompanied by a writer who she just met in a cab(?)and decides to tag along with her for absolutely no reason at all (?!?!?). Their investigations eventually lead them back to the good doctor's home, and that's where the real "terror" begins...I guess...

RAT MAN is actually pretty enjoyable. The plot is completely retarded, the acting is so-so, the ending is hilarious in it's ineptitude, and there's not nearly enough gore or nudity for my taste (although there is a little bit of both). But for some reason, this one is still fun, and De La Rosa as the RAT MAN is probably one of the most perfect casting choices I've ever seen. This creepy little bastard should be in EVERY horror film. Recommended to fans of sleaze n' cheese films - most others will probably find it far too stupid to enjoy. 7/10