Prime Evil

Okay, so we've got Roberta Findlay ("Tenement: Game of Survival", "Snuff") directing a cheesy 80's horror movie revolving on a brotherhood of devilish monks sacrificing young women to Satan himself and drinking their blood in order to remain immortal. How bad could this possibly be? Correction; it's unquestionably going to be extremely bad, but the right question to ask should be: How is this not going to be entertaining? What we have here is pure late-80's trash-gold, with a completely nonsensical and laughably incoherent plot, tacky make-up effects, gratuitous nudity and a whole lot of gibberish about Our Lord Satan! The script of "Prime Evil" is wonderfully incompetent and aimlessly skips from one theme onto the other without any form of continuity. The film opens in the year thirteen-hundred-forty something with a bunch of monks turning to Satanism because they're angry with God for allowing the Black Plague to kill millions of people. This was obviously a brilliant career move because the story suddenly jumps forward in time 600 years and all the monks contained their same age and virility. But the next winter sacrifice is coming up and one of the cult members suggests using his granddaughter because she's still a virgin. Meanwhile, the leader of the cult engaged a convicted killer to randomly kidnap the granddaughter's best friends and then – finally – there's also a sub plot about a devoted nun going undercover in the cult by order of the Catholic Church. This last sub plot is actually the most hilarious, since Sister Angela is hardly ever mentioned anymore after her initiation rites. This is why I personally love 80's horror movies! There are so many ideas yet they all just loosely connect together. There's no atmosphere of suspense whatsoever and even the whole devil-worshiping concept seems redundant. They're just a posse of bloodthirsty priests craving to cut open voluptuous young girls. There's fairly little gore until the climax arrives and that reddish puppet with horns, supposedly representing Lucifer, is just plain pitiable. The acting performances are horrible, but I don't suppose you expected it any other way. Boring, however, it was not.

Okay yes, it's not good. But if you really give it a fair shot, it had some decent ideas behind it. The motivation for the villains is acceptable, the acting ranges from horrible to surprisingly decent, and the plot isn't half bad believe it or not. I think the disappointing thing about this movie is that it could have been pretty good, not great, but good if in the hands of a capable director.

Is it bad? YES, but it seems to stand out among the other exploitation schlock for some reason (granted it is exploitation schlock). I can't believe I'm writing this, but this movie begs for a remake, in an era where production companies insist on taking good nostalgic horror movies and making them mediocre, they should take a mediocre movie with decent ideas like this and make it, well, good.

If you can find this, check it out, just don't pay to much to see it, and maybe you'll agree with me.

I watched this as one of the movies in Rhino's Horrible Horrors Vol. 1 box set. While it wasn't entirely horrible, it was pretty poor.

It starts off with some narration (which is absent for the rest of the movie), and a scene of a monk turning Satanist in the 1300s or something like that. Then in the present day, the death of a priest who was secretly a Satanist prompts a nun to go undercover to try to infiltrate the Satanists. She isn't given much to do for most of the movie, though.

There's a young woman who had been abused by her father and a group of child pornographers who plans to get married. Apart from the sexual abuse as a child, she's never had sex. Her grandfather is one of the Satanists and plans to use her in a sacrifice. He would like to take over the group.

There's also the Satanist's goon, who goes about like a slasher killing some people, abducting others. The cinematography and editing and so on aren't incompetent, but the acting and story are pretty lifeless. Surprisingly, there's no nudity. There's not a whole lot of blood, but there is some, and towards the end some people rapidly age or melt, I'm not sure.

The idea of murdering satanic Catholic monks totally turned me on, but what I saw here is just horrible crap! I'm a die hard horror fan, and I go out on a limb to make even the WORST horror films good, but this film was so BAD that I just wanted to kill myself after it was all over! This film is truly horribly boring and poorly acted and pinpoints exactly where low budget horror goes wrong.

*out of****pretty bad low average bore

Prime Evil tells of a satanic cult whose members can achieve immortality and invulnerability through the regular sacrifice of blood relatives to a hideous demon (that is about two foot tall and seems to be made of red rubber). Aged acolyte George Parkman (Max Jacobs) intends to prolong his powers for another thirteen years by taking the life of his virginal grand-daughter Alex (Christine Moore), and then wrest control of the cult from sinister leader Thomas Seaton (William Beckwith); but with Alex's boyfriend Bill King (Tim Gail) becoming increasingly suspicious of George, will the old man's wicked plans succeed?

After spending the 70s producing and directing porn, Roberta Findlay had a brief career making horror films, but in my opinion, it wasn't brief enough: a few months ago, I watched her horrendous '87 whorehouse horror Blood Sisters, and last night, against my better judgement, I checked out Prime Evil, and all the evidence so far suggests that the woman should have stayed in the 'bump and grind' business.

Findlay simply doesn't possess the fundamental skill set necessary to make a decent non-porn movie, her usual objective being to capture a juicy extreme close-up rather than to present a coherent story or obtain credible (non-sexual) performances from her actors (not that anyone from her dreadful cast looks capable of such an undertaking). A poorly developed script full of diabolical dialogue and precious little action doesn't help matters, of course, and with Findlay's visuals having that distinct porno quality (an effect helped no end by regular nudity from some suspiciously low-rent bimbos), the result is a nasty looking and amateurish yawn-fest that, although not quite as terrible as Blood Sisters, is still a chore to sit through.

3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for the topless tarts, the rubbish demon and a laughable decapitation.