Picasso Trigger

Let's just cut to the chase straight away here and say upfront that the only sane reason to watch an Andy Sidaris film is to see beautiful playmates get naked and shoot guns. What other reason is there? This one has a convoluted plot-line that I quite honestly can't be bothered to describe. What I will say is that the story is not exactly its strong point. Needless to say, as per Sidaris other films, there are a lot of explosions and a lot of feeble gadgets. But the action scenes are so lacklustre that you will be hard pressed to care. Honestly, when you consider the awesome bevy of beautiful babes that Sidaris improbably had at his disposal, you can't help but wish the films had a little more imagination or life about them.

This one is neither one of his best, nor is it one of his worst but it's pretty much essentially the same as all of them. The only true differentiating factor that I can ever discern is which ladies do we have and is there a lot of nudity? All other aspects merge into one as far as his filmography is concerned. This one's chief selling point is Dona Speir, who is very nice indeed. And, yes, she strips off a few times, along with several of her other female co-stars. So, consequently, the film does have some entertainment value. Other than that, it has quite a good title.

My review was written in May 1988 after watching the movie at a Times Square screening room.

"Picasso Trigger" is a campy action picture jampacked with beautiful women and musclebound hunks. In regional release since February, pic is likely to arouse considerable interest in ancillary markets.

Filmmakers Andy and Arlene Sidaris' gimmick is that all seven "Picasso" leading ladies are former Playboy magazine models. Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carltpon encore from the previous opus from the Sidarises: "Hard Ticket to Hawaii", as two government agents stationed in Molokai. They're called in to join the international team to stop Salaza, a/k/a/ Picasso Trigge (John Apriea), who's sent his henchmen to assassinate the agents who got his brother.

Organized by L. G. Abilene (Guich Koock), who is one of the marked men, team is headed by Travis Abilene (former soap star Steve Bond) and includes a mothley group of figting experts (including Harold Diamond, antoher "Hard Ticket" alumnus) and bombshells (Cynthia Brimhall, Kym Malin, Patty Duffek). Also on board is the voluptuous but suspicious-looking foreign agent Pantera (Roberta Vasquez), who coincidentally was Travis' sweetheart in college.

With many cute gadgets, inlcuding toy plane, car and dynamite-laden boomerange, injected into the action, the film plays firmly tongue-in-cheek as a omic strip approach to international intrigue. All the characters and thesps arfe larger than life, with silly bon mots peppering the dialog. Episodic format, with too much time addrfessed to side issues or rounding up the team, is a drawback.

Acting is variable, with most of the cast used to posing rather than reading liens. Bond, recently miscast in a West German period piece "Silent Night", is convincing as the hero who can't shoot straight, allowing his lovely co-stars to assert themselves in the killing and self-defense departments. Speir and Carlton are enthusiastic, uninhibited heroines with newcomer Vasquez making a strong impression as the villainess.

Playboy fans will be glad to see Liv Lindeland again, looking great and delivering a couple of funny lines (her film career peaked wih a character role in "Save the Tiger" 15 years back).

Tech credits including numerous explosions ar fine, with atmospheric location photography in Hawaii, Texas and Louisiana.

Andy Sidaris follows his usual formula with this mix of action, gorgeous scenery, and even more gorgeous women. The story deals with the title character, an international criminal played by handsome John Aprea. He's gunned down outside an art gallery by the goons of a crazed associate, Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon). Then a team of government operatives, including Travis Abilene (amiable hunk Steve Bond), Donna (the delectable Dona Speir), and Taryn (lovely Hope Marie Carlton) spend their time trying to eliminate Ortiz and his henchmen.

"Picasso Trigger" is fun, at least to a degree. It's never inspired, but it's reasonably rousing at times and even if the viewer is otherwise bored, they'll hopefully be preoccupied with ogling the female cast members. Naturally, they show off the goods when they get a chance. The acting is basically good enough for this sort of thing. The standout is veteran Aprea, who's a real smooth type. The gadgets designed by "Q" type character The Professor (Richard LePore) are cute, especially that killer crutch.

The material is played with a degree of humour, with some choice bits of dialogue here and there. Things get a little annoying in the final minutes, with one "ending" after another, but the movie is overall a good little diversion.

Six out of 10.

It's not his best work, but I still don't feel like I wasted my rental.

It drags on in some parts, and most of the hand to hand fight scenes are really unconvincing.

On the plus side, it has some tricks and twists that an audience member really wouldn't see coming.

No Julie Strain, but Donna Spier and Roberta Velasquez look really good in most of their shots. :)

Still, the nudity, while gratuitous, isn't very common in occurrence. The scenes where the characters are in swimsuits are nice, I guess. I have to admit they look pretty good.

It really didn't flow very well, and it had some scenes that were just plain boring.

Overall, I still like Sidaris' work, because it's the best you'll ever get in this kind of film work, I think, but he's done better.

Once again, this Sidaris film seems to have everything: a fit and quite believable as an agent Dona Speir, an incredibly adorable Hope Marie Carlton (on a scale of 1 to 10, her smile is a 12), a gorgeous Roberta Vasquez, international locations (Paris, Las Vegas, Texas, Hawaii, etc.), LOTS of explosions, outrageous gadgets, etc. The mix should have been explosively hot, but sadly it's only lukewarm. The execution of the formula is mechanical, as if Sidaris was simply ticking off action scenes from a list. There are very few funny lines (the best belongs to Speir: when she's accused of being jealous, she says "there is not a jealous bone in my body - check it out for yourself", and she disrobes!) and the one fight scene, involving Harold Diamond, is terrible. But to end this comment on a positive note, John Aprea gives a slick performance as the arch-villain of the story. (**)