Mortuary Academy

The influence of "Police Academy" (for better or worse) had reached far and wide... making its way, bizarrely so, to mortuary school. Basically retooling the same narrative, but a different occupation. Two brothers inherited a mortuary academy, but before they can take control they need to pass the classes. This leads to some unwanted interference by those already in charge, as the students end up having to save the academy from bankruptcy with an out-there idea. So throw in the standard comic misfit hijinks, a series of mortician schooling snippets leading to punchlines, romance and low-brow gags wrapped up in a bow of morbid curiosity involving necrophilia and corpses. It's all very hit-and-miss, incredibly off-the-wall and tastelessly unapologetic, but in the end I mainly watched it for the always delightful combination of Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov as mortician owner/and assistant of the Grimm Mortuary and Academy. Also you can't go wrong with character actors Tracy Walter and Anthony James playing less than desirable students. And not forgetting cameos at the backend by Wolfman Jack and Cesar Romero.

It's one thing to try and rip off "Police Academy", but it's another thing to put a spin on your rip off that concerns a very delicate subject - death, corpses, and the mortuary business. Oh, it's possible to generate laughs with those subjects, but it takes a lot of careful thought and execution, which is entirely missing from "Mortuary Academy". What will strike most viewers is how drained of energy most of the movie is, generating instead a sombre and grim feeling that doesn't exactly induce laughter. It doesn't help that the whole package feels unfinished - there are a number of confusing moments that suggest linking footage was never filmed for one reason or another. The movie has a somewhat interesting cast, but all the participating actors seem as weary and dejected as the movie's atmosphere, so even they can't milk any humor out of the material. It's no surprise then that the movie apparently spent several years on the shelf after being completed before being dumped on video and instantly forgotten.

One thing I never thought I'd see was Paul Bartel having passionate sex with a corpse. Thanks to this film, that which I thought impossible has become reality and I don't think I'll ever be able to close my eyes again without seeing the sight of a topless pot-bellied Bartel atop a beautiful dead teenage girl on the beach with his lips locked onto hers.

Believe me when I tell you that this sounds funnier than it really was. This movie is one long, tasteless, and painfully unfunny necrophilia joke. However, there are some sporadically amusing moments

A great cast is mostly wasted. Perry Lang continues (after The Hearse) his lustful pursuit of older women, only this time with more success, while Christopher Atkins tries hard and fails to fully explain why he's even in this movie. Caesar Romero and Wolfman Jack are here to collect a paycheck. Tracy Walter, Mary Waronov, and the rest do try hard.

The best performance is that of Stoney Jackson as the token black guy, who manages to be the funniest thing in this movie despite his lamentable rapping skills.

I'll give Mortuary Academy some credit though. I didn't hate it and it has perhaps the strangest Bar Mitzvah scene ever attempted in a motion picture.

MORTUARY ACADEMY is another wacky movie starring the irrepressible duo of Mary Woronov and Paul Bartel. Their running the titular establishment, while Bartel's character attempts a love affair with an overripe cadaver.

Meanwhile, two new enrollees stand to inherit the academy if they graduate. Bartel and Woronov do whatever they can to stop this from happening.

This is a humorous look at the funereal arts with heavy doses of goofy dialogue and zany characters. If you enjoy deceased, robotically resurrected rock bands, and aren't offended by the lighter side of necrophilia, then this movie will set in on you like rigor mortis. In a good way...

Ripping off the Police Academy movies, Mortuary Academy is about a pair of witless brothers named Grimm who inherit from their uncle both a large funeral home and a training school for morticians. I wasn't crazy about The Loved One which is always cited as THE film about the funeral business but it's Citizen Kane next to this one.

Christopher Atkins and Perry Lang are the brothers who inherit, but they're not licensed morticians and those pesky state laws require a license and a bit of training. So the brothers have to go to their own school where the current ones running the home want to see them fail.

That would be Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov who like things as they are where they are looting the business and pushing it to bankruptcy. Bartel also has a nice taste for necrophilia and his scenes cross over into the gross as he thinks he found the woman of his dreams, a teen virgin who died accidentally. Cross over quite a distance I might add.

I'm not sure Police Academy movie fans will even like this one.