Banco à Las Vegas

Pia Zadora stars in a torturous, feature length advert for Pia Zadora and her husband's Las Vegas hotel ("The production is indebted to the Riviera Hotel for its many considerations and extends you a cordial invitation to visit and enjoy its newly remodelled facilities."). At least Telly got a paycheck and a trip to the Riviera out of it, brother 'Demosthenes' tagged along too, let's hope they enjoyed its newly remodelled facilities.

Welcome to Remake Hell (and you thought that was just happening today!).

Face it, Remake Hell is eternal. It's been going on for decades and hasn't just been happening in the past 10 or so years. This time in 1982's FAKE-OUT, director Matt Cimber reshoots (almost scene for scene) his own prior fiasco from 1975, LADY COCOA (see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073259 for details about this turgid 1975 mess). This time, Pia Zadora takes on the lead role (originally portrayed by Miss Lola Falana in LADY COCOA), and the results are NO noticeably better. Both films suck, and FAKE-OUT's addition of more noteworthy supporting stars (like Telly Savalas and Desi Arnaz, Jr.) doesn't help matters any. It wasn't a bad plot to begin with, but Cimber doesn't elevate the story or improve the writing since his 1975 outing with the same material. It's a wonder he hasn't remade this film four or five MORE times over with other Vegas headliners like Taylor Dayne or Mariah Carey!

That said, this is still great fun for Zadora fans (or hecklers). But if you've seen LADY COCOA you may become easily bored by the grade-Z script, cut-rate production values (the Riviera casino looks pretty shoddy, actually), and the predictability of it all.

There is one apparently notorious (and charming) shower scene early on in the film where we learn that Pia's acting skills have a definite ceiling. As she's made to cooperate sexually with some fellow inmates, she turns on this blank stare that we all know (and love) from moments such as these in THE LONELY LADY. It's like a trademark for Pia. Kinda like that strange, Kabuki stare that Faye Dunaway would occasionally give off after a tirade in MOMMIE DEAREST. Strange stuff, but compelling for its utter badness.

I have to say I was really disappointed in this Matt Cimber extravaganza. It started out OK but as soon as I figured out this was a remake of an earlier, abysmal project, I found myself checking my watch to see how much longer it would run. That was at about the 15 minute mark.

Pia's opening "number" (the only one in the flick) over which the titles are displayed is pretty fun stuff -- in a thoroughly cheezy way, of course. Freeze-frame moments of Pia shaking her booty, complete with added optical effects are perfect. Too bad FAKE-OUT didn't contain more of these types of scenes.

Pia Zadora has done some strange things in movies...most of them bizarre, like her role in Butterfly, with the incestuous theme.

This film, though, is way bizarre. It's soft-core porn, really. The nudity and the strange lesbian kiss from actress Connie Hair, now a political PR flack for several conservative organizations, make it a film most will not enjoy. I doubt that Ms. Hair would enjoy references to this film these days.

I don't like the "women in prison" genre anyhow, but this one is pretty egregious.

That said, Pia Zadora is always as cute as a bunny, and I wouldn't miss any of her films, no matter what. Love ya, Pia!

"Fake Out" or as a DVD release, "Nevada Heat", really is a frustrating film. First, Pia Zadora is her usual cute as a button, perky self, and Telly Savalas is his usual sarcastic self. These two play off each other throughout the movie, but the film really goes nowhere. Sure there is a steamy nude shower scene, and Pia takes a bubble bath, but the simplistic story of a mobster's girlfriend's allegiance or lack thereof comes across more like a series of skits showcasing the Riviera Hotel. One interminable scene at a blackjack table plays like an instructional gambling primer. Attempts at humor mostly fall flat, and the cartoon-like car chases in and around the hotel only further weaken an already weak film. - MERK

If you are expecting to Gone with the Wind, you will be disappointed. If you are expecting a watch a Pia Zadora movie, you will be pleasantly surprised. I say this because outside of watching Zadora shake, rattle and roll across the screen, Fake-Out offers a fun ride in and around 80's Las Vegas. Among witnessing Zadora in the flesh, we get to see the Lake/Great Telly Savalas. Every time he is on screen, it is worth the price of admission. The cast also includes multiple guest appearances along with strong supporting leads with Desi Arnaz Jr., Larry Storch and Tim Rossovich at their very best. Worth the watch and worth watching to the very end.