The Beach Girls

As classic a piece of 80's cheeseball as you will ever find. Its worth the time watching it just to follow the "zany" antics of the gardener, who always seems to be in the right place at the wrong time. Some of the worst writing and acting anywhere, with so many bad lines delivered its hard to pick out which is the worst.

It's not exactly meant to be "Richard III". It's a 1980s sex comedy. It's upbeat, it's engaging, it's often funny, and the characters are actually likable. In fact, this is frequently wacky stuff, with lots of off the wall incidental gags thrown into the mix for good measure. It's pretty much impossible to dislike. Granted, the main characters are clearly older than they're meant to be (they're supposed to be teenagers), but that's not really a quibble.

Two carefree, boy crazy gal pals, Ginger (Val Kline), and Ducky (Jeana Keough) hook up with a more reserved, responsible friend, Sarah (Debra Blee), whose uncle Carl (Adam Roarke) has graciously allowed Sarah the use of his sumptuous beach house for the summer. The expected raunchy (actually, they're never really *that* raunchy) hijinks ensue.

As one can see, the movie, directed by Bud Townsend and written by Patrick Sheane Duncan, is not exactly strong on story, nor does it need to be. It does have its little subplots, such as an amusingly sleazy local drug runner, Captain Jack (Paul Richards) sometimes running afoul of the local Coast Guard captain (Herbie Braha, who throws in impressions of Humphrey Bogart), and the misadventures of Carls' horny gardener (Bert Rosario) as he attempts to get an eyeful of all of the shapely ladies who start to frequent the place. The main set piece of the movie is a wild party, but the finale provides some of the biggest laughs. Sarah goes through a personality shift, finally starting to blossom when it's suggested that she's too uptight, but this bit of business never gets melodramatic.

The acting is appealing all the way down the line, especially from Blee, who went on to appear in "Savage Streets". Viewers may recognize Keough from being a Playboy Playmate and a visual attraction in ZZ Top videos. James Daughton of "Animal House" plays a nice guy musician, Mary Jo Catlett ('Diff'rent Strokes') is a local busybody, and other familiar faces include Catherine Mary Stewart as a surfer girl, Tessa Richarde as Doreen, Corinne Bohrer as a partygoer, and George Cheung, one of the villains from "Rambo: First Blood Part II", as a chauffeur. As can be expected, a number of the ladies show us the goods, so there's no complaints in that department.

In short, this is very simple, irresistible lowbrow entertainment, and it's never mean spirited, which is a big part of its charm. Lovers of this kind of movie should find it quite agreeable.

Seven out of 10.

I saw a trailer for THE BEACH GIRLS while I was working my way through BCI Eclipse' Drive-in Cult Classics 1, 2, 3, and 4 (featuring Crown International Pictures releases) on DVD.

In this offering, BCI paired THE BEACH GIRLS with "Coach" as a "Welcome to the Grindhouse double feature." Sex, drugs, alcohol, post-graduation party; and, drug smugglers… this film holds nothing back! This movie is everything "American Pie" wanted to be (but without the pastry abuse!)

Like other Crown International Pictures features, THE BEACH GIRLS packs a lot of story in a very short time. It is almost a cross between "Malibu Beach" and, "Weekend with the Babysitter." THE BEACH GIRLS features a group of young people graduating from high school into a way of life where sex and drugs are widespread, without any moral consequences.

In the opening scene, when we first meet Sarah, we can see that Debra Blee really has a "Jane March kind of vibe going on" (think "Color of Night"); and, sense the simmering sexual undercurrent that lies beneath the bookish exterior, which is the whole point of the movie.

As for the supporting cast, Bert Rosario, as the horny gardener, steals every scene he is in – he is hilarious, with some of the best physical comedy and sight gags in the film! The fight between Wang and the gardener was a scream.

The score features fun beach music and driving rock ballads.

A nice flashback to the fictionalized version of the early 80s.

I first saw this movie on late-night Cinemax when I was about fourteen years old. It has become a cult classic in my book. I showed it to all my friends after taping it. It is an absolute hoot! It's so bad that it is absolutely hilarious! The story: Virginial Sarah (Deborah Blee, who went on to the triumphant "Hamburger: The Motion Picture") goes to spend the summer at her Uncle Carl's beach house. Sarah has invited two friends to join her for the summer: Loose hussies Ducky (Jenna Thomasina, a PLAYBOY playmate of the year) and Ginger (bleach-blonde Val Kline, who seems to have vanished.) Much to the disapproval of Sarah, Ginger & Ducky turn Uncle Carl's beach house into a wild, no-holds-barred sex, drugs, and alcohol orgy. When Uncle Carl arrives unexpectedly, he demands that the party stop, but topless Ginger and Ducky ply him with booze and marijuana, and soon Uncle Carl joins in the party. Meanwhile, drug smugglers being chased by the Coast Guard dump dozens of garbage bags filled with pot into the ocean, and the bags float up in front of Uncle Carl's. What follows is a wild pot party, with the Coast Guard raiding Uncle Carl's and building a bonfire with all of the confiscated weed. Everybody gets deleriously high. That's the movie! I could list some truly classic lines but there's not enough space. Trust me...this is funny, funny, funny...in a good/bad sort of way. Get your hands on it if you can! Great party flick!

This prototypical 80's film was pretty fair, I guess. This one isn't about anything but having a good time and some fun. Unlike today's party movies, this one doesn't try to be anything more than that, nor does it rely on gross out humour. Fortunately, they have a pretty attractive cast here, including one woman who looks a lot like Katie Holmes. The one lady I could recognize here was Mary Jo Catlett, who played the third maid on "Diff'rent Strokes"; here she's your Conservative type who tries to blow the whistle on the house party. Not bad, I'd watch it again, although any movie that promotes marijuana use is questionable in my eyes.