Crime au cimetière étrusque

The video of this I rented features lots of "Americanized" Italian names. I get how "Paolo Malco" (from MST3k's "Escape 2000") became "Paul Malco", but how did "Sergio Martino" become "Christia Plummer"?

Anyhoo, this French/Italian coproduction tells the incredibly unengaging tale of some drugs hidden in some ancient burial tomb thingee and some other stuff happens and there may or may not be supernatural forces at work. Alan Hale jr-look-a-like Van Johnson (MST3k's "San Fransisco International") gives loooong expositional scenes, and John Saxon (MST3k's "Mitchell") gets his head twisted backwards (and apparently the killer also switched his right and left hands). Another victim looks like a cross between Michael Caine and Elmer Fishpaw from "Polyester". The music by Fabio Frizzi is just the score from "Gates of Hell" used again. The special effects are just maggots- maggots on photos, maggots on hands, maggots on statues.

Anyway, it should go without saying, but don't watch this movie.

I recently viewed the Italian film 🇮🇹 A Scorpion with Two Tails (1982) on Tubi. The plot revolves around a woman in New York whose archaeologist husband passes away while studying artifacts in Italy. Haunted by nightmares of a mysterious cult performing sacrifices where her husband died, she travels to Italy to investigate the locations he frequented, and her dreams start materializing...

Directed by Sergio Martino (A Man Called Blade) and featuring Elvire Audray (Ironmaster), Paolo Malco (The New York Ripper), Claudio Cassinelli (The Suspicious Death of a Minor), and Marilù Tolo (Marriage Italian Style).

This Italian horror film from the era stands out with its unique blend of giallo and Indiana Jones elements. The solid acting complements a compelling storyline, enhanced by authentic sets and props. The film effectively uses maggots to create a chilling atmosphere, though some scenes might be unsettling for those not fond of them. However, the kills are disappointingly average, accompanied by the use of visibly paint red colored blood. Despite this, the ending manages to evoke a smile.

In summary, A Scorpion with Two Tails is an average addition to the horror genre, that potentially could have been better with improved kill scenes. I would give this a 5/10 and recommend watching it once.

(1982) The Scorpion with Two Tails/ Assassinio al cimitero etrusco DUBBED HORROR/ THRILLER

It has Joan Barnard (Elvire Audray) while in NYC having the same recurring nightmare/ proclamation regarding her ritual and her husband, Arthur Barnard (John Saxon) who happens to be an archeologist. And after a brief call from her husband, from Italy to NYC, he informs her he is bringing back 12 crates, it is there he is killed right on the spot by having his neck twisted. As a result of wanting to know what happened to her husband, she feels more than obligated to take a trip to the same archaeological sites her husband had visit ed. It was at this point we are introduced to many characters from the Contessa Maria Volumna (Marilù Tolo) and her goons as well as the racket Joan's dad, Mark Mulligan (Van Johnson) is involved in which happens to be heroin.

By looking at the big picture, this is supposed to be the horror equivalent of Raiders of the Lost Ark made one year prior to this one. There is not a single nude scene and the lead actress Elvire Audray herself at that particular time could have been mistaken for a Taylor Swift look-a-like. The most boring thing about this movie is the fact there are way too many characters. Viewers are kind of oblivious before have suddenly appear out of nowhere, whether he is related to Joan's husband or part of the group itself. And by the time viewers find out who the killer is, it made even less sense.

The true strength is its unpredictability. There's like three different plots all woven together (and not particularly well). Some of the locations and coloring/lighting is quite good. It's a pretty film to look at.

The acting is not particularly good. That being said, I've seen much worse before.

Although there are a number of genres mixed in here, the overarching genre is giallo/slasher. What it's really missing is the graphic violence and sexuality that so often punctuate giallo and slasher films. There's no payoff. The ending gimmick was really bad.

The Scorpion With Two Tails features an interesting premise but feels underdeveloped and hastily made. It also becomes a drama when it perhaps would have been better off as horror. It essentially involves a woman who goes to Italy to investigate an Etruscan tomb after the death of her archaeologist husband. Because the Etruscans were so mysterious, the film explores interesting concepts like the Etruscan language and religious practices. The primary problem with the film is that it stumbles into the "eurocrime" genre as if to compensate for a plot that wasn't fully worked out, and next thing you know we're dealing with family members hiding drugs in the Etruscan tombs, gangsters, et cetera. Essentially the film becomes a crime thriller that is slow paced and isn't especially thrilling when it really should have gone the Jean Rollin horror route. The film is unsatisfying but is definitely worth a watch.