10 Violent Women

There are plenty of directors who could make a crime comedy/women in prison movie as bad as "10 Violent Women," but only Ted V. Mikels could make it a chore to watch.

The titular women (initially eight, not 10) are working as gold miners (seriously) at the movie's opening, but when the one man on the crew detonates some dynamite and almost kills one of the women, they decide, naturally, to turn to crime—"with class"—for easy money. So they rob a jewelry store, though for all their talk of wanting easy money their plan is unnecessarily complex, involving decoys, disguises and one working on the inside (I think; the storytelling is only slightly less murky than the lighting). Usually when robberies have such elaborate set-ups the goal is to make off with the loot without the victim realizing she or he has been ripped off until the thieves are long gone. But apparently that's too stealthy for our violent women, so they end up holding the store owner up at gunpoint anyway, taking his "assistant" (who may—or may not—be one of the violent women) hostage. They ditch their wigs and stolen limo in an alley then, after stopping in a park for a lame water gun fight, our women head for Vegas to fence the stolen goods. Sheila (Sally Alice Gamble) is the one who seems to have some connections, in that she knows a guy who sorta knows another guy, so she arranges to sell the stolen jewels to Leo (Mr. Mikels himself, making a much better impression as an actor than director). When Leo tries to pay the women in bags of cocaine, they attack him and leave with the jewels and cocaine—but not before Sheila finishes him off by stomping her high heeled shoe into his chest.

Besides being the movie's high point, the death by high heels scene is the demarcation line when "10 Violent Women" goes from "so bad it might actually be kind of fun" to "Oh, God, when will this thing be over?" Sheila is the older one of the group (one online reviewer accurately described her as looking like Mrs. Roper on "Three's Company") but she's not the smartest. After getting blitzed on tequila, she approaches two men in a bar and asks if they'd be interested in buying the coke, even though it's so obvious they're cops they might as well be in uniform. In short order: Sheila is killed when resisting arrest, three more girls escape and the remaining four end up in prison, where they join forces with two inmates (so I guess it does add up to 10 violent women after all). The prison sequence should be where we find the movie's moneyshots. But in "10 Violent Women," it's when it becomes a tedious bore, skimping on all the WIP staples: nudity, sex and violence. Only Georgia Morgan as the obligatory sadistic lesbian warden makes much of an impression. A mature woman with a blond pompadour, dragon lady nails and a cigarette-cured rasp, Morgan delivers the movie's best performance and would have been a perfect addition to John Waters' stable of actors. Unfortunately for her, "10 Violent Women" is Morgan's only movie.

Predictably the girls escape, their plan so easily executed you kind of wonder why no one tried breaking out sooner. The movie ends as stupidly as it began, with a twist that's only slightly less ludicrous than a group of women dressed as "Charlie's Angels" rejects working as gold miners in the 1970s.

It wouldn't have taken much to make "10 Violent Women" watchable: replacing a few members of the cast, if not for acting ability then for physical attributes (most of the women are fairly average looking); better lighting (or even just lighting); and more—a lot more—sex, nudity and violence. Some character development and imaginative storytelling would be a nice touch, too. Instead, "10 Violent Women" is a slog, its primary redeeming feature being retroactively making Mikels' earlier work ("Girl in Gold Boots," "The Doll Squad") seem artfully crafted by comparison.

My review was written in May 1984 after a screening at Selwyn theater on Manhattan's 42nd St.

"10 Violent Women" is a strange women's prison film which will be of interest to followers of that specialized genre. Made in 1978, pic was released regionallly in 1982 and is reviewed on its belated firs appearance in New York.

Convoluted storyline (punctuated by freeze-frames and announcement titles-ove as gags) opens with eight women getting frustrated with their work and turning to crime. They successfully pull off a jewelry store robbery, but are nabbed (roughly halfway through the film) by narcs when they try to sell them cocaine obtained from Leo the fence (Ted V. Mikels, the director, in a support role).

Action in stir is generally routine, except for a memorably overdone turn by Georgia Morgan as the extremely butch head guard, who likes to doff her mannish uniform at night, put on frilly nightgowns and force the prettier inmates to submit to everything from humiliation to whippings. After a much too easy escape from behind bars, heroines Samantha (Sherri Vernon) and Maggie (Dixie Lauren) mark time unconvincingly until a shah whose sacred scarab ing they stole (in the jewel robbery) invites them onto his yacht, drops criminal charges and whisks them off in an absurd happy ending.

"Women" is the sort of odd B-movie that proliferated a decade ago for regional and drive-in circuit use (when budgets under $50,000 per film were possible), but since then tv action shows have obviated the production of such pictures. Filmmake Mikels, for example, made an interesting actioner "The Doll Squad" in 1972 with Francine York starring as the leader (named Sabrina) of a trio of tough female undercover agents, which was the prototype of "Charlie's Angels".

Though too kinky in spots for general audiences (Mikel as Leo is killed gruesomely by a "heroine" stabbing him repeatedly with her spiked heel), "Women" is technically adequate low-budget action fare. Its title defies precise calculation, since only three or four heroines are in the spotlight at any one time.

In Director Ted V. Mikels' TEN VIOLENT WOMEN, the Maestro forays into the world of the Women In Prison movie. He succeeds brilliantly, since women do end up in prison.

A mining accident sends a crew of women into a life of crime. Their spree of heists includes the high-heeled spiking death of a lowlife "fence", played by Mikels himself! Drug deals, flamenco dancing, and arrests ensue.

In the slammer, we're introduced to the "head screw", Bri Terry (Georgia Morgan), and her ex-lunch lady guard squad. Terry is a meanie pants with certain "ideas" about the females in her charge. Sadism and weirdness take place. Thankfully, the big finale contains much needed belly dancing.

With this film, the Director has chosen to forgo such trifles as sound, lighting, production, acting, or any semblance of a story line. Instead, he just turns on the camera and lets it all fly! Otherwise, this could never have become the miraculous shambles that it is.

In the galaxy of sub-sludge cinema, Mikels' star burns very bright. He has a real knack for this sort of stuff. Whether that's a good thing or not is left to posterity...

Flabbergasting is the word for this mighty entry in the canon of Ted V. Mikels, the Grade Z journeyman of 30-plus years of schlock. His films are so terrible, and not necessarily in an endearing kind of way, that you don't know whether to deify or damn the man for persistently, self-reliantly, churning out such endless truffle... his way or no way. Perhaps Mikels is the last of the true independents...

Anyway, this amusing piece of tedium concerns the exploits of some high-kicking gals (and there are eight, not ten, by the way) who, after they get even with some pervert slob at their job in a mine (in a real "Huh?" of an opening), decide to have some more adventure by plotting an intricate heist of a jewelry store and then rip off a "fence", which proves to be their undoing. As the picture lumbers along, the number of women in this club begin to dwindle. Finally, there are two left, who get sent to a tough women's prison (actually, a boiler room, but never mind) where they become at odds with a stereotypical butch lesbian warden (who probably has an 8mm copy of SEVEN BEAUTIES in her desk), and plot to escape.

I have not mentioned the names, nor any distinguishing traits of the girls. So -uh- "impressionistic" is this "uncompromising testament of women getting even in a male-dominated society" full of "dramatic irony" when they meet their retribution in the form of a woman (who is actually more male)... oh to hell with it. There is zero characterization; faint names are dropped here and there, but good luck matching them to the proper girl. In fact, the solely solid character in the entire piece is director Mikels himself, ironically, in his wonderful cameo as the fence whom the too-confident female mob attempts to rob.

But otherwise, this is yet another Ted Mikels home movie that actually got sold for release (if perhaps only on home video). The best attempts at artistry are the Neo-Realistic prison love scenes, which are so simply because they had no lights! That scene alone accounts for the dreariness that pervades this picture. The elusive tone of 10 VIOLENT WOMEN is interesting-- although it attempts to appease the R-rated audience with sex and violence, the movie is actually quite juvenile in its approach.

The completists of the wide wonderful world of Grade Z cinema will probably want to check this film out anyway. (Why else did I sit through Larry Buchanan's MISTRESS OF THE APES?) But for the sane viewer, their Ted Mikels fix will be abetted with THE DOLL SQUAD instead.

There's something liberating about watching a movie with many scenes so dark you can't tell what's happening. You get to make up your own movie. And brother let me tell you no matter how terrible your idea is, it's miles better than this trash. It's not all dark though. There are dimly lit scenes where you can tell what's going on. Savor these moments. Memorize each person's clothing as that will be the only way you can tell them apart when the darkness returns. The most well-lit scenes take place outside. Perhaps the sun should receive a lighting credit. As with every Ted Mikels movie, there's a little bit of cheesecake. But unless you're really hard up its nothing to get hot & bothered over. Avoid this crapper.