Rayons X

Wow! Where to begin?

Hospital Massacre seems like one of those movies that an alien from a different planet would make about humans. So many characters behave in such ridiculously bizarre ways that no one seems like a real person. It's probably best to turn off your mind before going into this one and just rolling with it.

The story itself might make zero sense, but it seems as if it's just a coat hanger to hang a series of gory, imaginative death scenes on and those scenes are certainly memorable. It's never terribly gory (in fact, it tends to cut away before it shows too much most of the time), but the scenes themselves are unlike anything you've ever seen. Watch a nurse turn a corner and come face to face with the killer at the end of the hall who's walking towards her with a sheet stretched out in front of him. Like most of the film, it's hard to tell if this is dreamlike and creepy or incredibly hilarious.

Much like the same year's Halloween II, there are only a handful of patients in this entire hospital and the people in charge must be trying to save money on electricity, because there are so many dark corners and hallways everywhere.

Barbi Benton isn't half bad in her meager role which just consists of her looking scared, angry, or hysterical. At least when she isn't being subjected to hysterically gratuitous nude examination scenes.

I'm not sure what Hospital Massacre was intending to be, but it sure turned out fun.

This film is one of the most underrated slasher films of the early 80's. It has okay camera work, good acting, fluid direction, recycled plot, etc. Barbi Benton plays Susan Jeremy. She enters a city hospital to get the results of a recent physical. From the moment she enters the hospital, she is approached by weird doctors, old and strange patients, and is forced to undergo one of the most exploitive examinations in movie history (THE DOCTOR TAKES HER BLOOD PRESSURE AFTER PLACING HER HAIR JUST SO YOU HAVE A GOOD LOOK AT BARBI'S NIPPLES). Soon you learn that there is a crazed killer after Susan and he's out for revenge. Though exploitive in some areas, the film has its fair share of good, solid film making. The script is pretty weak and so is the ending but the direction makes up for it. The camera work is okay but just not as fluid as HALLOWEEN II's (which has a similar plot). All in all > 7/10

Hospitals have always been great locations for horror films. With their long, dark hallways where the stench of death looms every second of the day and masked surgeons with access to all sort of sharp tools...and that's not even counting all the bills that come later.

Barbi Benton gets herself into a bit of a dilemma in this particular hospital once she goes to pick up some check up results and gets taken from room to room as doctors try to figure out what's wrong with after a killer switches her test results to keep her around longer. The script is silly, but there's never a dull moment.

Hospital Massacre (1982)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Incredibly strange, over-the-top and at times downright crazy slasher about a young woman who sees her best friend murdered after they laugh at a boy who left her a Valentine's Day card. Flash-forward nineteen years and the now woman (Barbi Benton) is at the hospital for a check up when a madman begins killing everyone trying to get to her. HOSPITAL MASSACRE, also known as X-RAY and several other titles, is a pretty poor movie that has so many unintentionally laughable moments that you really can't help but have fun with it. Director Boaz Davidson has said that he didn't know too much about the genre and had never made a slasher so he was pretty much just throwing everything in that he could. This includes all sorts of silly "jump" sequences, which are just downright silly at times and even worse is how everything gets drawn out to the point where you just get tired of watching it. There are simply way too many sequences where scenes keep on going and going when they should have been much shorter. A bit more editing probably would have made the film much more entertaining. There are some things here that are good and this includes the gore. The film contains a pretty large amount of blood especially for a film of this era when most were being cut up by the MPAA. Another memorable thing is the "performance" as the killer because it's just so crazy and over-the-top that you can't help but laugh at times. Still, the weirdness of the character certainly makes you remember him. Benton is decent in the role and manages to show off her Playmate breasts during a rather awkward examination sequence. The rest of the performances are certainly below par but they add to some of the laughs. HOSPITAL MASSACRE is mainly going to appeal to those who enjoy those bad slashers of the decade. You have to leave it to Cannon as they really did deliver a pretty wild little film.

They could have left the killer out of the movie and it would have been just as good! It's so stupid that it's funny. Every scene is bizarre with the half wit doctors and staff. Thankfully none of these things could actually happen in a real hospital. I wasn't expecting much when I watched this and that's exactly what I got. Still, the craziness that occurs is worth a laugh. Watch this when you have nothing else to watch!