Rayons X

They could have left the killer out of the movie and it would have been just as good! It's so stupid that it's funny. Every scene is bizarre with the half wit doctors and staff. Thankfully none of these things could actually happen in a real hospital. I wasn't expecting much when I watched this and that's exactly what I got. Still, the craziness that occurs is worth a laugh. Watch this when you have nothing else to watch!

Hospitals have always been great locations for horror films. With their long, dark hallways where the stench of death looms every second of the day and masked surgeons with access to all sort of sharp tools...and that's not even counting all the bills that come later.

Barbi Benton gets herself into a bit of a dilemma in this particular hospital once she goes to pick up some check up results and gets taken from room to room as doctors try to figure out what's wrong with after a killer switches her test results to keep her around longer. The script is silly, but there's never a dull moment.

The movie starts off with a young boy who obviously has a crush on this girl. When he sends her a valentine card, she laughs at it. This must have made the boy go psycho. Cut to the present. The girl is now a grown woman, who is going to get a routine check up at her hospital. The killer shows up at the hospital and begins to methodically slice and dice the hospital staff to get to the woman. This movie has some great suspense and atmosphere. The acting was a little below average, but the movie is too good to be missed.

Forgive the pretentious summary, but i thought this film was effective precisely for all the elements other reviewers seemed to criticise. It IS fairly well shot (the dark bits are hard work) and the editing's sharp. With a big bombastic orchestral score and lots of OTT moments, this is a cheesy film with plenty of daft false scares and the like, but it's quite nightmarish too. The clichéd parts are tensely handled. Maybe I'm desensitized to bad cinema at the moment, having consumed plenty of terrible 80s slashers recently, but I thought this was pretty good. Little touches like the horrible old women sharing Barbi Benton's hospital ward, cackling like the witches from Macbeth, added to the absurd bad-dream quality. The murder scenes are well handled, violent and rough but not that splattery.

This film has a similar feel to something like 'Don't Answer The Phone!' or 'The Centerfold Girls', serious in intent and not really 'camp' in any way. It's obviously 'bad cinema', but artfully done.

Wow! Where to begin?

Hospital Massacre seems like one of those movies that an alien from a different planet would make about humans. So many characters behave in such ridiculously bizarre ways that no one seems like a real person. It's probably best to turn off your mind before going into this one and just rolling with it.

The story itself might make zero sense, but it seems as if it's just a coat hanger to hang a series of gory, imaginative death scenes on and those scenes are certainly memorable. It's never terribly gory (in fact, it tends to cut away before it shows too much most of the time), but the scenes themselves are unlike anything you've ever seen. Watch a nurse turn a corner and come face to face with the killer at the end of the hall who's walking towards her with a sheet stretched out in front of him. Like most of the film, it's hard to tell if this is dreamlike and creepy or incredibly hilarious.

Much like the same year's Halloween II, there are only a handful of patients in this entire hospital and the people in charge must be trying to save money on electricity, because there are so many dark corners and hallways everywhere.

Barbi Benton isn't half bad in her meager role which just consists of her looking scared, angry, or hysterical. At least when she isn't being subjected to hysterically gratuitous nude examination scenes.

I'm not sure what Hospital Massacre was intending to be, but it sure turned out fun.