Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen

I liked the Charlie Chan movies I remember watching on television when I was growing up, I like Peter Ustinov very much and I thought it a very bold stroke to have Angie Dickinson play the "Dragon Queen" (a role made for the likes of a Lucy Liu).

That's why I'm irritated by having rented this movie. It's just awful - truly truly awful. You'll sigh, you'll look at your watch, you'll feel as if you're stuck with some adolescent in an elevator trying out his impressions for 17 hours until they free you.

Don't rent it - it's just TERRIBLE - and with this cast, that's such a shame.

Having just spent the last several days reviewing past Charlie Chan movies in series chronological order, not to mention previously reviewing Charlie Chan in Paris back in 2006, I decided to finally watch this spoof of the great Honolulu detective that I just bought on VHS from a used video store. In summary, this was a clumsy, jumbled slapstick mess that only rated a few chuckles from me due to some witty lines near the end. And Peter Ustinov is wasted as Chan as he sounds more like an Englishman impersonating a Chinese man than more convincing portrayals from the likes of Warner Oland and Sidney Toler (I have yet to rewatch a Roland Winters one that I haven't seen in 30 years). And how convenient to have his grandson Lee, Jr.'s (Richard Hatch) parents (one of whom is Jewish) be killed in a car crash so as not to have Keye Luke make an appearance. ("No. 1 Son" as a young man here is played by David Hirokane) The fact that he's not there nor is Earl Derr Biggers credited as creator here is just as well since this movie does nothing to honor their contributions. And the supporting cast of Hatch, Lee Grant, Rachel Roberts, Roddy McDowall, Brian Keith, and, in one of her earliest roles, Michelle Pfeiffer are just wasted as well, never mind Angie Dickinson as the Dragon Queen. Director Clive Donner seems to want to do a Mel Brooks-like parody down to the Blazing Saddles-like climax but there's nothing the least bit creatively funny here. So on that note, I'd only recommend Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen for anyone curious about the treatment of this once-iconic hero. P.S. Screenwriter David Axelrod is another of these film and TV members I'm citing as born in my birthtown of Chicago, Ill.

If the A.F.I. decides to vote on the 100 best kisses in American Film, they have to put Richard Hatch's and Michelle Pfeiffer's kiss in the top ten. Not only are we talking tung, but a 45 second smooch that makes the viewers laugh as well as cry. Fast forward to this scene first, the rest of the film can wait.

I guess because of the fact that back in the day Charlie Chan, Earl Derr Biggers famous Chinese detective from the Honolulu PD was played by Occidentals like Warner Oland, Sidney Toler, and Roland Winters it was OK to have Peter Ustinov do a spoof. Maybe it could have worked in other hands with a better script and better direction, but we've kind of grown past that kind of mimicry.

Charlie's come over to San Francisco from retirement in Honolulu for his grandson's wedding. Turns out that Lee Chan the number one son married a nice Jewish girl. His grandson however was raised by his Jewish grandmother Lee Grant who super doted on him. Now Richard Hatch as the grandson wants to follow in his grandfather's footsteps and become a detective. He's also marrying a nice Jewish girl in Michelle Pfeiffer.

Hatch maybe Charlie Chan's grandson, but he acts more like Inspector Clouseau in training. And there've been some random murders or seemingly random murders and looking good for it is Charlie Chan's arch nemesis the Dragon Queen played here by Angie Dickinson.

Hatch investigates, but of course it's Ustinov who solves it. Some others in the cast are Roddy McDowall as the butler and Rachel Roberts as the maid to Lee Grant. Best in this cast is Brian Keith a rather thick police chief who can't quite grasp the subtleties of Ustinov's mind and aphorisms.

This might have worked better if Ustinov spoofed his own character Hercule Poirot. But having us westerners play easterners just does not go over that well any more.

This is the perfect example of how not to make a Charlie Chan film--or any film for that matter! It was meant as a comedy--but it's not funny. The mystery is lame. The acting is awful. A good cast wasted by a terrible script! Peter Ustinov is better than this and should have said "No!" to this one. A big waste of time and money. Only for absolute Chan fanatics and then only so they can say , "Yeah. I saw it." To paraphrase from a much better Chan film, "Bad film like dead fish--can not stand test of time!" See any of the 20th Century Fox Chan films from the 30's and early 40's instead.