Love, Sidney

This was one of the first attempts at a gay leading character in a prime-time television series. Tony Randal played Sidney, a middle-aged gay man with some sort of relationship with a straight woman. The woman had a small daughter, or something.

The image that has lasted in my mind for years was of Sidney having a party and inviting his mother's friends. You see, he was gay and therefore had no friends of his own. Right.

It was the last days of disco, this guy was gay, and couldn't scare up enough friends for a party? Right.

It was really sad that the series implied that gay people are to be pitied because we have no friends and that a meaningful relationship, platonic as it may be, is only possible with a straight person.

I know a lot of gay people who hated "The Living End", which featured fatalist gay people shooting up stuff with guns. "Too violent," they say. I say that I prefer the "Living End" image over "Love Sidney". Maybe if Sidney would have had a gun and shot up a few gay bashers it would have been more interesting.

And in all seriousness, this stupid TV show left indelible images on a gay 13 year-old's mind that stuck for years, leaving him afraid and ashamed. That 13 year-old was me. Though I'm now out and happy, I think the show's creative team should issue a public apology for this crap.

OK, let's clear the air. No, this was NOT the first openly-gay character on television. But this WAS the first openly-gay LEAD character on television.

Billy Crystal was a supporting actor on 'Soap' and so was not a Lead. And while the writing was not all that great and the concept was paper-thin, this show did break new and important ground on television. Shows like 'Will & Grace' and 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' owe a lot to this program. Was the show any good? Yeah, it was decent. Was it important? Yes, unbelievably so. As Tony Randall passes away from our sight on this day, we should remember that we all owe him a debt of thanks.

Thanks, Tony; We will miss you.

One of the earlier comments about this film is a rant about how it marred the life of a young gay. It wasn't intended to. In the day in which this show was made, you couldn't be as open about being queer as you can now and the producers were always trying to find a way to place Sidney's humanity ahead of his sexuality so that viewer's would see him first as a person and second as a gay person.

His loneliness was not the result of his being gay, it was the result of his not having made lasting relationships. Remember, Sidney wasn't all gay men, he was just A gay man. He was living outside of the stereotype the way we all do.

It wasn't a great show, but it surely was a well-intentioned one and it was very well acted by the two leads.

It's hard to appreciate now, but Tony Randall was taking a huge chance when he took this role. Playing gay used to cost actors work in other projects and if you look closely at Randall's resume, you will see that his career did take a few hits from having taken on this role.

Kudos to Randall and Swurtz and the producers and writers who were trying to tell a story about some humans and the ways that humans create connections and family. Big kudos to all of them for having the guts to make one of those characters a gay man.

A friend of mine recently said that he was traumatized by The Brady Bunch. He said that his family was so unlike the always-happy, flawless Bradys that, by comparison, be felt he was living with a bunch of monsters. My reaction: "Dude, you took 'The Brady Bunch' seriously?" Likewise, the guy who wrote saying that Love Sidney caused his 13-year-old homosexual mind to grow shameful and make him feel he would always be friendless and sad...I have to ask: What are you, kidding? It was a portrayal of ONE CHARACTER. As for me, I'm glad the Sidney producers had the fortitude to create a show around a leading gay character way back in 1981. As a heterosexual kid growing up at that time, the show was my first introduction to the notion of homosexuality. It raised a lot of questions, and wound up being a springboard to meaningful discussions I had with my parents -- a chance to learn what it was, and form a non-judgmental concept on the subject in my formative brain.

That honor belongs to Jodie Dallas, played by Billy Crystal, on Susan Harris's sitcom "Soap." Tony Randall's Sidney Shorr was a simple follow-up, based on a sentimental TV-movie called "Sidney Shorr: A Girl's Best Friend." The person who posted such a hateful message about the show seems to forget that Randall wasn't a young gay man dancing disco every night. He was a mature man, not romantically involved, and not involved with the bar scene. There are all types of gays, just like there are all kinds of straights, and Randall shouldn't be condemned for not living up to someone's cliched stereotype. Admittedly, the show wasn't stellar, and Randall wasn't doing his best work. But undoubtedly it helped change the perceptions about homosexuality among some older people.