Porklips Now

This is one of best, funniest movie spoofs I've ever seen. Favorite quote: Mertz: Do you find my method...acting...unsound? Dullard: I saw no acting at all.

"Porklips Now" has got to be the funniest spoof of a feature film that I've ever seen! One thing that makes it so good is that it stays so close to the original movie (Apocalypse Now). Almost every scene in this short parallels a classic scene from that movie. For example, the one guy who is skate boarding behind the car while holding the rope, is like the guy who was water skiing in Apocalypse Now. Or, the arrow through the head prop, hilarious. This short even captures some of the strange atmosphere from Apocalypse Now. Favorite line at the end of the movie: "Oh Dullard, you slay me".....DULLARD: "Actually, I was just about to do that". Its been a long time since I've seen it, so the dialog might be slightly different, but it was something like that.

Billy Gray is perfect as Dullard. He sort of reminds me of Charlie Sheen with his reactions and facial expressions. The rest of the cast of unknowns also do a very good job.

I'm sure this will make its was onto DVD at some date and time- I just hope its in my lifetime! A friend of mine had it on Betamax way back in the eighties, but it should be on DVD by now.

"Hardware Wars" has its moments, but *every* moment in "Porklips Now" works for me. From Billy Gray's uncanny Sheen-like look and sound, to the incredibly and purposefully stupid dialog, to the spot-on Brando take at the end, "Porklips" is a masterpiece. When I first saw this on the original VHS tape that included "Hardware Wars" and "Bambi Meets Godzilla", I was working in a small video store where we were allowed to watch just about anything we wanted. This became a prized screening choice among all of us who had seen "Apocalypse Now", to the extent that we had to restrain ourselves from showing it every day, lest we grow tired of it. That never happened, btw . . . We need a DVD!

"Never get out of the car. Mertz got out of the car. Then he got out of the car business..."

Did you like "Apocalypse Now" ? Then you should love "Porklips Now," probably the greatest no-budget amateur film (the indy hadn't yet been invented) of the '80s. Spot-on parody fantastically directed with truly bizarre performances. Skewers its target in less than 30 minutes with the best Brando impression of all time.

Why the heck isn't this available on DVD (along with director Ernie Fosselius' "Hardware Wars") ? And why didn't Fosselius end up directing feature comedies ?? Your mission is to find this film. And you're not borrowing my raggedy VHS copy.

O....M....G.

Sorry if the above quote was inaccurate as to the price of porklips, but it's been 25 years since I saw the original, on the flip side of "Hardware Wars," by far inferior.

Since then, I've run around saying "Porklips" is THE funniest film ever made. Yep, better than Spinal Tap, in a low-budget kind of way, which Fosselius plays up.

"Apocalypse Now" is the #1 best film ever made, so I guess it'd stand to reason I'd rank Porklips as the #1 funniest film. I wonder of Coppola has ever seen Porklips? Anyway, about 5 years ago I found a VHS copy on ebay, and snatched it up. Took it to a fiend's house, where we literally rolled in the aisles for hours.

"I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. Dullard? Dullard, are you listening to me?" I called the fiend a month later to get my tape back. "Oops. I taped football over it." *)%*@#)!!! So now I'm on a new quest...If anyone knows where to obtain this, email me! Fred Mertz...Operating beyond any reasonable or sane price controls.