Gorp

It's a good thing I was only 16 the summer this came out. Me and my buddies, all of us the same age, got such a kick out of this Animal House ripoff only because we were as horny and mischievous as the characters. It's interesting to see the subsequent accomplishments of some of the stars. I don't think I'd waste much time watching it again, even to reminisce. It is exactly what it was, a teen-target capitalizing on our adolescent urges: plenty of girl-spying and bragging about what you want your buddies to think you've done. I remember being excited that school was letting out soon for the summer, so we were all planning our own GORP adventure, which of course never happened (but told everyone it did). Fun, but absolute crap.

Imagine someone right next to you jumping up and down while screaming non-stop into your ear, with plenty of vulgar words peppered in his speech, and you will have an idea of what it's like to watch GORP. You might think that with all that energy put forward there would at least be a few laughs, but think again - there's not one laugh here! There isn't even a jovial spirit on display, just a feeling of mean-spiritedness and even pure rage. Not only that, its sense of "humor" is downright offensive at times. The only bit of interest it offers is a display of yet-to-be-famous talent. (P.S. - For some reason, my original post of these comments was taken down since someone thought it was "abuse". It's not abuse - I'm simply telling it like it is.)

'80s camp comedy in the vein of Meatballs. I haven't seen Meatballs since I was a kid, but I have to imagine it's quite a bit better than this dud. There are a handful of young actors who would go on to be pretty big (notably Dennis Quaid, Fran Drescher and Rosanna Arquette), but that's about the only reason to watch. It's comprised of a bunch of semi-related sketches. There are several lazy plot lines, only like one of which gets resolved by the end. The main characters, played by Michael Lambeck and Philip Casnoff, are awful, loudmouth, Italian stereotypes, and you just want to smack them in the face in every scene. Really, all the males in the movie are pigs and borderline rapists. There are some very pretty girls in the film (yes, even Fran Drescher was quite hot when she was in her early 20s), but they hardly figure in it. It's all about the boys acting obnoxiously. Of the future stars, Dennis Quaid has the biggest role as a guy obsessed with guns, explosives and fireworks. He's damn annoying, too, although at least he has a bit of charisma, unlike Lambeck and Casnoff.

Picked this up on DVD after seeing an interesting trailer for it on a compilation. I wanted to like this. I really did. It seems like the writers had a lot of ideas and tried to throw them all into the mix. This means that no time is spent with any of the characters really. None of the characters are really likeable or relatable, save for maybe Fran Drescher's character -- but maybe that's just because I LIKE Fran Drescher. But there are all these minor side characters that we'll get a scene or two with and they are gags that ALL fall flat. I'm sure the makers of GORP thought they were loading the movie to the brim with hilarious set-pieces and gags, but none of them really work and the whole thing is an incoherent mess. I don't know if they were just trying to out-ANIMAL HOUSE ANIMAL HOUSE or what, but the writing wasn't strong enough to touch that one. And as others have pointed out, this movie is pretty rapey -- which is kind of in line with 80s teen sex comedies, but this one feels extra gross. And I'm no prude when it comes to this sort of material when taken in context... but some of the content here was stomach-turning and played for laughs that never connected. This gets an extra half star for Fran Drescher.

I never went to camp as a kid, but I still have an affection for a lot of these "summer camp movies" of the late 70's/early 80's. This one, however, is pretty worthless. It's not funny like "Meatballs". It's not politically incorrect like "Little Darlings". It's not nudity and sex-saturated like "Summer Camp" and "The First Turn-On". And unlike "Friday the 13th", "The Burning", and "Sleepaway Camp", it doesn't even have Jason or somebody like that around to kill off these unfunny and irritating characters and put them out of my misery. The only innovative aspect to it is that it's supposedly set at a Jewish summer camp (even though half the cast is obviously not Jewish).

The director Joseph Ruben generally had an impressive exploitation career aside from this, directing everything from "The Pom-Pom Girls" to "The Stepfather", and he later found some mainstream success in the 1990's. This is probably his worst movie though (OK, "Sleeping with the Enemy" might have been worse, but THAT had Julia Roberts in it). As for the cast, this does include early career missteps by such notables by Dennis Quaid, Roseanne Arquette, and Fran Drescher (although the latter's entire career was pretty much a misstep). Quaid, like all the male characters here, is flat-out annoying as a military-obsessed weirdo. Roseanne Arquette is very cute and adorable in her first role, but she has virtually screen time. Drescher meanwhile, while she has never been unattractive and is not nearly as annoying here as she would become some years later, plays the camp nympho who "does" everybody (including a rabbi!) without actually ever taking off her clothes. I would have vastly preferred this role had gone to some anonymous bimbo who was willing to disrobe. And speaking of bimbos, Debi frickin' Richter is also in the cast. She was "Miss California 1975" and had one of the best bodies around back then (see her in the movie "Hot Moves"), but you get to see exactly none of it here.

I almost never COMPLETELY pan movies because I almost never watch movies in the first place if I have any inkling that they're going to COMPLETELY suck. I was fooled by this one though. Don't make the same mistake. See any of the movies I mentioned above (well, except maybe "Sleeping with the Enemy") instead.