Cactus Jack

This movie is horrible, its true... but there is so much worth seeing, if not only to see Arnold Schwartzenegger in a western. The opening scene alone took me completey by surprise and the stuttering telegraph operator is a must-see. The bulk of this movie is painful and youve seen it if you seen any Looney Toones cartoon, but I haven't laughed that hard at a movie in a very long time. Not to mention, Ann-Margaret is freaking hot.

I'm not quite sure why Kirk Douglas took the part of a live Wile E. Coyote in the film villain other than to say that he had now tried the slapstick comedy genre. But in this case the frustrated coyote is not matched up with the beeping road runner. His adversary is Dudley DooRight in the person of Arnold Schwarzneggar, the Handsome Stranger. Yes folks, that's his character name.

We've got a third cartoon character in the mix, Ann-Margret doing a prototype of Jessica Rabbit. Annie's really showing off the stuff today with bosoms akimbo, she's got every member of the cast panting after her with the exceptions of Strother Martin who is her father and still sees Daddy's little girl and Arnie whom she pants after, but who doesn't show the slightest interest.

The bulk of the film is taken up with Kirk as villainous Cactus Jack and his horse Whiskey, doing their best to stop Arnie and Ann and rob them of a large sum of money from banker Jack Elam to Strother Martin. It's here where all the comparisons to the road runner cartoons take place.

I'm sure Kirk Douglas liked the change of pace, burlesquing his own western image. And he had a tough assignment because the majority of his scenes are alone and the dialog was spoken to his horse. Maybe Mr. Ed should have been cast in the role.

If anybody noticed the name of the horse Whiskey is the same name that Kirk Douglas used for his horse in his acclaimed Lonely Are The Brave.

Lest you think that because this is a road runner film the ending is a road runner ending. Let's just say that Jessica Rabbit has her needs and priorities as well.

Almost like a Roadrunner cartoon, but live action. Pretty much all the clichés you can think of, including names such as "Handsome Stranger" for the handsome stranger played by Ah-nold, and "Charming" for the beautiful heroine.

Frankly, IMHO, Kirk Douglas's horse was the star of the movie. While watching it with friends I said, "I love that horse." I think that animal should have won an Academy Award. (I think there is a "Patsy" award for animals, actually)

Probably best to see this one with friends. Probably pretty boring to see it alone, but where friends can feed upon each other it is wonderful.

None of Kirk Douglas's implements did come from the ACME company, though :-)

I can't understand why most people think every movie is trying to be Citizen Kane. I mean I love steak, but I would tire of it if I had to eat it every day. Sometimes you need pudding. This movie is pudding..not much substance but tastes great while it's in your mouth. I hadn't thought about this movie in ages until I was reading a bio on Arnold. This movie is a live action cartoon. It's goofy, silly and other adjectives that end in y, but it's fun to watch. It's especially fun to see it on those Sunday afternoons when nothing is on, but car racing and fishing. (With the advent of cable this has become a rare occasion, but I think most people will agree that even with 150 channels it's still hard to find something you want to watch.) If you get a chance to see this movie and don't take yourself too seriously you will have a good laugh.

You people have completely missed the point of the movie! When Kirk Douglas falls off the cliff, or off his horse, he is not intended to be hurt! Didn't you get it when he painted a tunnel on the big rock, and Arnold and Ann PASS right through it? Then when Douglas tries it, he runs splat into the rock! It is a very funny comedy! COMEDY being the key word here. Arnold has some great lines in this movie as does Ann Margaret. This is your classic Saturday Morning Wile E. Coyote/Roadrunner cartoon done in a live version. Don't worry so much about the acting, and just enjoy the movie.

Also, Ann Margaret is NOT 63 in this movie, and she is VERY hot looking in it. And even at 63, she is still somewhat hot!

If you have this movie and Brain Donors, you have yourself a fun day ahead of you!!