- Jessie: What's wrong with wanting to be the best you can be? What's wrong with wanting to be perfect? What's wrong with wanting to be loved?
- Adam Lawrence: Always treat a famous person as if they're not. And a person who's not as if they were.
- Linda: He knows a guy who knows a make-up artist on the Dukes of Hazzard, who's gonna redesign my face.
- Adam Lawrence: Tom? Tom, look, I cannot take this anymore. You got to get me off the obit desk. I can't write another obituary.
- City News Editor: Calm down, Adam. Relax. It isn't going to last forever. Think of it this way: This is your last chance in journalism to write anything nice about anybody!
- Adam Lawrence: Perfect...
- Jessie: I don't think you can be objective. I mean, really objective, under any circumstances. Like the Heisenberg principle of physics.
- Adam Lawrence: Ah, yes.
- Jessie: The theory that we change things by observing them.
- Adam Lawrence: Right.
- Jessie: The idea is that to see something you have to shed some light on it. And light alters what it shines on.