Tutti frutti

As a Patrick Dempsey fan, I picked up this movie. Only, Dempsey is hardly in it, and barely has dialogue. It turned out to be a pretty funny little movie about the trials and tribulations of five Catholic School Boys at St. Basils in the 1960s.

Our central character is Michael Dunn (Andrew McCarthy), who is new to St. Basils and has yet to learn of it's sadistic rituals and largely paranoid and overbearing Brothers. Dunn makes friends with self-proclaimed genius, Caesar (Malcolm Danare) who's self-gratification can be quite annoying.

Dunn and Caesar eventually join forces with underachiever, Rudy (Kevin Dillon), quiet Corbet (a very young Patrick Dempsey), and the horny kid, Williams (Stephen Geoffreys). As such, the five of them get into their fair share of trouble and adolescent antics at St. Basils, which makes for some pretty funny sequences.

Mary Stuart Masterson costars as Dunn's girlfriend who runs the soda fountain, a sanctuary to the Catholic School students where they can smoke and cuss and whatever without fearing sanctions from the Brother. She's basically just a nice girl trying to get by and seems like a good match for Dunn.

Donald Sutherland plays the rather lackluster headmaster at the school. Wallace Shawn has a small role as the paranoid Brother who fears the potential of the horny student body (just listen to his dumb speech at the dance), and John Heard has a good part as the laidback Brother who seems to be the only buffer between the Brothers and the students.

Despite Andrew McCarthy being emphasized as the main character, the whole movie is really Rudy (Kevin Dillon)who has the bulk of funny dialogue and dumb ideas and without which, would probably be just another 'blah' movie. McCarthy's character alone is not all that interesting, and so they needed something to play off of that. And that's what Dillon's character is there for. And it works so well, he basically is the whole movie.

I recommend picking up this one if you get a chance, especially if you really like 80s movies.

This movie depicts a time that has now become a part of history. St. Michael's School closed its doors earlier this year. The neighborhood which was populated by Irish and Italian kids is now primarily Latino and lower-income,who couldn't afford the rising tuition.

The situations, as portrayed, were actually quite realistic for an inner-city parochial school. Some might say the brutality toward the boys was extreme- but pretty close to the truth.

Actual scenes were used in the neighborhood. The building that housed the candy store is still there, empty and derelict.

The movie caught the aura of the era and is becoming a 'cult classic'

..and I was an altar boy, and went to church every day, and confession..

So watching this the other day brought some of that back to me. There were Brothers in the parish but nuns taught school.

As some other comments have suggested, this movie is unimaginable without Kevin Dillon. He's riotous, from beginning to end. He's given all the good lines and makes the most of them. You barely hear Patrick Dempsey's voice at all.

I was and am not an Andrew McCarthy fan, but he's very tolerable in this. Its the lead but the less showy part. His scenes with Mary Stuart Masterson don't exactly jump off the screen, but they are adequate to the movie.

Movie also gets some points from me for the Elvis references. The guys go to an Elvis movie after seeing the Pope (and get in trouble for it), plus the King is heard over the credits at the end. 8/10.

A friend of mine who's an organist at a Catholic parish in New Jersey told me that the school used for the setting of Heaven Help Us is not to far from him in New Jersey. The area looks more like Brooklyn in 1965 than Brooklyn does. Having graduated a public high school in Brooklyn of that year, I can attest to that.

I can also attest to the fact that for people I knew in Catholic school at the time this movie really does hit the mark. Those who were taught by Brothers as they were here, told me that they ranged in character from idealistic John Heard to the sadistic Jay Patterson to father figure Donald Sutherland. And a few in between also with some issues.

One has to remember that this was the New York City of Robert Wagner in his last year as Mayor and with Wagner's blessing, Cardinal Spellman still had virtual carte blanche over his domain. Tommy Becket would have envied what he achieved over civil government. When you see those brothers invading that candy store, that's no exaggeration.

When I was a lad in Brooklyn, we had a candy store around the corner from a Catholic grade school. It was run by Mr. Lobenstein who was Jewish. Yet it was a refuge for the Catholic grade schoolers like the store that Mary Stuart Masterson is running for her Dad. The nuns would think nothing of going there to haul their charges back to class should they be late.

The nude swimming in the high school pool is no exaggeration. It's a boys school so presumably we all have nothing to hide. I did love Philip Bosco as the brother gym teacher telling the Catholic youth they had to get in shape to fight the Communists. This would have been standard dogma from Spellman. Of course some poor closeted gay kid would have been going completely out of his mind in that setting. And as we see in the end there was at least one.

The five student protagonists are Kevin Dillon, Andrew McCarthy, Malcolm Denare, Patrick Dempsey, and Stephen Geoffreys. Stephen Geoffreys the poor sexually frustrated kid who was constantly doing some self fulfillment left acting for a career in male porn. However it is the dynamic of the relationship between Kevin Dillon and Andrew McCarthy that drives the film. I met quite a few back in the day who were like both Dillon and McCarthy. Dillon is the school rebel, but McCarthy is the one who commits the ultimate act of defiance.

The best performance in the film is by Jay Patterson as Brother Constance. The only thing I can say is that the man had issues. I really can't say more, you have to see Heaven Help Us. The man on some level truly thought he was building character.

Last year the movie Saved came out and did for Protestant Christian schools what Heaven Help Us does for Catholic education. That's the best description I can give it.

While I can't comment on the accuracy in which the "Catholic School for Boys" is depicted in this movie, having once been a teenage boy, I can attest to having known (or been) a kid who is represented by nearly every character in the movie. I identified most with Andrew McCarthy's character, but saw a little of myself in many of the other kids.

The movie is at times funny, touching, and intense. I believe it has been largely forgotten and was ignored even in its initial run. It is vastly underrated, and if you happen across it in the TV Guide or in the older titles at the video store, it is worth two hours of your life. Recommended.