The Galaxy Invader

The creature design in this would have been rejected by 1960s era BBC.

The acting is awful, the writing is awful, and the dialogue is on par with a drunken toddler.

Okay, I gotta admit that this is the ONLY redneck, white-trash sci-fi film I have ever seen--so by default it is the best. And with a very charitable score of 2, this isn't saying much! I UFO lands in the country and the alien that came from it was actually pretty good--with an interesting costume and makeup. Unfortunately, from this auspicious start, the film was all down hill from there. Why? Because then the action switched to a group of horrid actors who made up a family that looked like they'd escaped from a John Waters film, such as FEMALE TROUBLE or PINK FLAMINGOS. The two daughters and wife were all pretty stupid and awful but compared to Daddy, they were like charm school graduates. Daddy was the most pointlessly obnoxious and trashy person I've seen in film in a long time--spending practically every second in the film with alcohol in his hand, cursing, threatening or shooting. Plus, his costume was the ever-present white t-shirt that was like one giant hole! And, to assist Daddy in all his obnoxiousness was his cigar-chomping and rather psychotic friend. Together they decided that it was a good idea to capture the alien and get rich. This was pretty much the whole plot. Daddy and his inbred idiot friend chasing the poor alien. In fact, this duo was so obnoxious and awful that the rest of the white trash decided to help the alien! The film is full of amateur acting, bad filming and horrid dialog. In no way other than the alien's costume is this film superior to films like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. It honestly looks like someone's home movie starring their drinking buddies, though on this level it's good for an occasional laugh.

FYI--If anyone cares, this film was made in Maryland. As I saw some real similarities between this and some of the cheesier John Waters films I wonder if perhaps the writer/director Don Dohler wasn't perhaps a friend or associate of Waters or at least was seriously impacted by his work.

There were a total of 3 effects in this movie: The first was the crappy animated "meteor" as it hit the earth. The second was the rubber suited alien (reminded me a lot of the creature from the black lagoon). Then there was the globe & gun thingy. Sadly, we didn't get to see a spaceship or even a hole in the ground---not even a studio cave.

The globe & gun contraption would have been fair had it been backed up by decent effects. The shots it fired and the dumb little firebursts were really lame.

Now the rubber mask wasn't bad. The first time it was shown it actually startled me (that's quite an accomplishment for a movie of this calibre). But from there it was all downhill.

Acting was just plain bad. And the only people in the whole cast who didn't look like they had just risen from a pigpen were the kid (David) and the alien. In my opinion the alien was the only decent actor in this mess---and that's probably cause he didn't have to talk. The kid would have been okay if he hadn't had that vacant expression on his face the whole time.

The story was dumb but had an unusual twist in that the alien was the one being chased instead of the usual opposite. But it seemed the story centred around the psychopathic Joe more than the alien. And occasionally you got the idea that maybe the producer had other things on his mind than the story at hand---I mean there were quite a few ass shots of those girls.

Brief recap of story: Alien crashes on earth. Crash is witnessed by college kid who tells his prof. But before prof can arrive, large group of morons (led by two even bigger morons) get together to hunt the alien. Constant bickering (and even killing) among the morons almost makes the viewer forget this is supposed to be a sci-fi movie. (Honestly, I really, really wanted that alien to off all those dopes except the boy & prof.---it would have been so satisfying.) The alien is captured, then gets away with help from boy & prof. But the hunt continues with several lives lost and a most unsatisfying ending. (You really feel sorry for that poor alien---not only because of the story, but because he had to be in the same movie with all those boneheads).

One other positive: it's in colour.

I gave this one a most generous 3 mostly because of the rubber suit & cause it was able to give me a little jump. Sci-fi night owls can probably endure thru this moronic mess without falling asleep---I did. Everyone else---don't waste your time.

It's so tempting to add this one to the coaster collection.

This was truly a "classic Cheese" movie. Although I overlooked the acting as I was looking for how "Cheezy" this movie might turn out. Sure enough, I was not disappointed. The story line was different than expected and the portrayal of how some men treated women in the film fit the time period. The most amazing and laughable component was toward the last part of the movie. I particularly enjoyed the catapulting of a "would-be- body" over a cliff. The pure physics of this feat was undeniably astounding! You have to see it to believe it! I watched this scene several times and I was in such a hysteric laugh stupor, I had to stop watching it. Overall, I really enjoyed this one.

Back in high school, one of our favorite six-pack stinkers was The Fiend (1980), in which a supernatural creature resembling a radioactive Twistie enters the grave of a recently deceased music teacher. He comes back from the dead, naturally craving blood, but more unnaturally, still giving home lessons on the violin. It was one of a string of low-budget genre movies from Don Dohler, a Baltimore filmmaker who may have turned out like his more famous Baltimore counterpart John Waters if he'd spent less time gluing together fanzines and devouring Famous Monsters Of Filmland, and more time huffing nitrous and shimmying around with perverts.

And just like a John Waters film, Dohler's movies are filled with would-be thespian matrons and blockheads with thickly nasal Baltimore twangs screaming at each other in garishly decorated sets. In the case of The Galaxy Invader from 1985, it's the family of a violent, gun-toting alcoholic hillbilly doing the screaming - dear old Paw discovers the crash site of an alien in a green rubber reptile suit, and decides bagging a spaceman before the CIA does means big bucks on the black market. He rustles up a hunting party of greedy Harleyville hicks while the Moon Man goes on a Human Hunt. One early victim of the reptilian rampage is George Stover, a Don Dohler standby who keen-eyed John Waters watchers will recognize as Mink Stole's father in Waters' Desperate Living (1977).

Compared to most shot-on-video garbage released these days, it's an unexpected treat - shot on film with a distinct style, albeit a Z-grade one, and with a real wide-eyed, earnest and straight-faced appreciation of the genre which gives Don's movies a genuine charm. Sadly Don passed away in December 2006 aged 60, but he leaves behind the legacy of his hardly misspent life. Don Dohler, wherever you are in the cosmos, I salute you.