Les douze salopards 2: Nouvelle mission

According to an article written many years ago, the original "The Dirty Dozen" novel was actually based on real life story. US military convicts were offered pardon in exchange for similar suicide missions in Nazi occupied France. They agreed, but after the drop they turned their tails and spent the rest of the war in neutral Spain. In real life, use of pardoned convicts as soldiers is rather common phenomena, as experiences in former Yugoslavia indicate. In WWII Red Army and Wehrmacht employed such practice. The operation that actually resembles this movie the most was conducted by Germans. In May of 1944, frustrated with unsuccessful attempts to chase down and destroy the core formations of Yugoslav Partisans, German High Command planned the daring parachute raid on the headquarters of Partisan leader Tito and trained entire battalion of convicts for that very purpose. At the end of the day, Tito, although initially surprised, managed to get away and the convict paratroopers, decimated in a hellatious battle, took only Tito's freshly tailored Field Marshall uniform as their only trophy.

This film is definitely more of a remake of the classic THE DIRTY DOZEN than a sequel. (Although the events here are said to take place in September 1944.) There's a lot of the same dialog as in the original movie and even the same type of characters! There's a Telly Savalas clone, a Jim Brown clone, a Charles Bronson clone, Marvin, Borgnine and Jaeckel reprise their original roles, and all three look about ready to drop dead on the set. At the time of filming, Marvin was about 60, Borgnine almosty 70 and Jaeckel is almost 60. All too old to be in combat operations.) You'll feel as though you're watching the same characters (meaning the 12, not the officers leading them) from the original, except played here by new actors. The mission is even similar: kill a Nazi general, rather than the many of the first movie. This time there is no character development and little training. (It's almost an hour shorter than the original film, too) The men land and trek across France, whining all the way, always about to rebel but turning to Marvin's widsom in the end. Same stuff as before. The climax was decent and I liked the action theme more than the music of the original movie.

I'd watch this only to see how badly a movie can be remade / followed-up when a studio tries to make money. Here they failed miserably. I paid $.50 cents to watch this at a rental store. It's not worth much more if you've seen the original 1967 film.

.Lee Marvin returns as Major Reisman, who is once again charged with training a dozen convicted and condemned felons for a suicide mission behind enemy lines in the latter days of WWII. Ernest Borgnine also returns as the commanding general, as does Richard Jaeckel as the MP sergeant. Among the flavorless 12 are Ken Wahl, Larry Wilcox, Sonny Landham, Ricco Ross, Gavan O'Herlihy, and others who in no way measure up to the original's cast. Wolf Kahler plays the German general that's the target of the mission. He's intent on assassinating Hitler, and the Allies don't want that, as Hitler's many military blunders are hastening the war's end. The script is pedestrian at best, and many chunks of dialogue are repeated verbatim from the first film. I'm glad I saw it, as it was a Lee Marvin picture I had yet to see, but I'm not in any hurry to see it again.

Nearly 20 years after the blockbuster success of "The Dirty Dozen," Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine, and Richard Jaeckel re-teamed for a sequel, "The Dirty Dozen: Next Mission." While Borgnine and Jaeckel retain their dignity and acquit themselves reasonably well, Marvin seems bored and tired throughout; "show me the money" is written all over his face. But the lead is not the only casting problem with this lackluster followup. The original dirty dozen were a motley crew of psychopaths and criminals, embodied by such great character actors as John Cassavetes, Telly Savalas, and Donald Sutherland. The dirty dozen in "Next Mission" are well scrubbed, clean cut young guys, who look as though they were former boy scouts recruited from a male escort service. To suggest these choir boys had committed crimes worthy of hanging or life at hard labor is laughable.

Mercifully, "Next Mission" is about an hour shorter than the classic original. The assignment this time is to assassinate a Nazi general, who is intent on killing Hitler. However, the reasoning for saving Der Fuhrer's life is never explained. The mission not only lacks justification, but also seems to lack any logical plan. The team lands at an airport inside Nazi controlled territory, calmly walks from the plane dressed in German uniforms, and boards a waiting bus. One of the team is an African-American, but that only seems to occur to anyone at the last minute, just before they deplane. If that is not howler enough, the team member who has only flown crop dusters suddenly becomes expert at flying a German war plane. Marvin tells the group they will not parachute, because they have not been trained and would be killed; later, the entire group parachutes safely in the dark. Michael Kane is credited with the "writing;" he should have sued to take his name off.

Director Andrew V. McLaglen is a competent director of such TV westerns as "Gunsmoke," Have Gun will Travel," and "Rawhide;" occasionally, he turned out a decent movie as well: "Shenandoah," "McLintock," "The Undefeated." However, the script for "Next Mission" defeated McLaglen and his career was over six years later, not long after another misguided sequel, "Return from the River Kwai." "The Dirty Dozen: Next Mission" should be required viewing in film school, The Pitfalls of Making Sequels to Successful Films, 101. "Mission" is unnecessary, howlingly inept at times, and only tarnishes the image of Lee Marvin. Not surprisingly, none of the new dirty dozen became household names afterward; all involved should have passed on this mission and so should viewers.

This movie had all the warning signs of a horribly cheesy comical re-make. Based upon "The Dirty Dozen," this almost unbearable 90 minutes of film made me almost rethink such masterpieces as Conspiracy Theory, The Blair Witch Project, and Batman and Robin. The movie itself was a mix between the worst Naked Gun humor, and a mildly serious Police Academy 7. Since it was also a "made-for-TV" movie, and since it was also a "made-for-TV" movie comedy, it is among the very cheesiest of the cheesy. So be warned, and watch out for Sonny Landham who played Billy in Predator.Particular attention should be payed to the German scene, which was one of the cheesy-funny scenes in the movie. But as a rule, avoid most movies with "The Next Mission" in the title, or comedies made for TV.

Hopefully this was the Dirty Dozen's last mission, or rather the "Baker's Dozen's" last mission!