Light Blast

A bitchy kung fu nurse raising pain and a bulldozer smashing the bits out of the automobile that Erik ("Ponch") Estrada is stuck in may be the only best parts from LIGHTBLAST. Everything else is pointless all the way through. Cookie-cutter action / car chase elements supersede the flesh-to-bones visuals and a science-fiction theme, making this another in an endless string of "cop versus bad guy" action turkeys! Estrada is terribly miscast here. Enzo Castellari fared much better with the underrated, but gritty cult classic 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS. A great waste of precious time well spent.

Silly action from the Italian maestro Enzo G. Castellari about a mad scientist who blackmails the city of San Francisco with his laser.

Silly effects, predictable script, sensationally bad acting and lots more make this one a treat for all you mad scientist film fans out there. And Eric Estrada fans anywhere...

Seriously, only someone with a heart of stone can watch through this without laughing out loud. Recommended for therapy, then!

The first time I saw this movie was a couple years ago. It was at the end of some old tape that had been lost with time. And it only had the ending of it. Some friends and I just happened across it one night and we couldn't stop laughing at it. In fact we liked it so much that I scoured the Internet for the full version of it. I was finally able to buy a used copy of it and have loved it ever since. I would have to say that now this is my favorite movie. Next is Black Belt Jones.

Ah! I've been after this one for years. Nobody's going to accuse Enzo Castellari of being high brow or filling his films with attacks on Roman Catholic dogma or thinly veiled metaphors about the futility of human endeavour, but action wise, this guy's untouchable. Light Blast is no exception. Car chases, gun fights, gore, car chases, explosions, car chases, this film has the lot. Especially car chases.

Thomas Moore (aka Ennio Girolami, the now sadly departed brother of Enzo) is a crazy scientist with an even crazier light weapon that he uses a couple of times (causing folk to melt ala the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark), and is now blackmailing the city of San Francisco. Cop Erik Estrada (King Worm from Adventure Time) is on the case, which mainly involves chasing after Moore's hired goons and graphically killing them, or tailing them using various vehicles to buildings and killing them there, or chasing hoaxers in cars causing death and destruction.

We first see Estrada during a hostage crisis where he turns up in the buff carrying a turkey with a gun inside it. This was the first indication to me that Enzo wasn't taking this one too seriously. That, and when Estrada jumps on the back of a pick up truck, thrusts his badge into the driver's face and says "Follow that car" and does this several times until we see a motorcyclist dropping him off outside of a henchman's place, which leads to the awesome 'fight in a mortuary scene'.

Basically Erik gets into a three way fight with one of Moore's hired goons (hired goons?) and a crazy nurse who kicks him in the knackers about 100 times. Fantastic.

Although there's…kind of not much plot to speak of, Light Blast is jam packed full of the stuff brain dead Italian action fans want to see, so you're not going to hear any complaints from me, because I'm a brain dead Italian action fan. As long as people are shooting at each other or things are blowing up, I won't get confused. This is another winner from Enzo – I've still not seen a bad film by him. Good music too, from the De Angelis brothers.

Massimo Vanni fans take note: Massimo's cameo lasts long as these words, uttered by me during the film: "Ah, there's Massimo. I wonder how long it will take him to get killed? Well, there he goes."

There are movies of which you already know from the very first second that they will provide you with tremendous entertainment and a blast (pun intended) of a good time! The vast majority of these movies are Italian exploitation flicks from the early '80s and yet another large number of them are films directed by Enzo G. Castellari. In the 1970s Castellari made several qualitative cop thrillers ("The Big Racket") and stylish westerns ("Keoma"), but in the eighties he resolutely went for awesome popcorn-flicks like "The Last Jaws", "The Bronx Warriors" and this sadly too obscure "Light Blast". This movie feels like a mixture between a "Dirty Harry" sequel and a car chase thriller, though also spiced with many delightful horror and science-fiction elements. No one other than Erik "Ponch" Estrada (from the success series "CHiPs") stars as a rough 'n tough San Francisco copper on the tail of a mad scientist who threatens to destroy the entire city with his newly invented mega-powerful laser gun. Dr. Yuri Soboda's laser gun definitely works, that's for sure, since we witness how "Light Blast" begins with a lovely demonstration! I'll spare you the technical details, but the impact of the laser beam causes such tremendous heat and radiation that human flesh spontaneously melts away! An innocent young couple painfully experiences this when they're making love in the abandoned factory that Dr. Soboda uses to test his deadly device. He then gives another demonstration at a stock-car race and demands the sum of $10 million or else we'll strike again. "Light Blast" is literally chock-full of zero cool car chases in the bumpy streets of San Francisco, with lots of ravaged vehicles and unfortunate random victims, and during the climax Estrada even drives around in a desert buggy. The film also features many extremely violent shootouts (the bullet holes are huge) and nasty fights. The absolute highlight of the film – next to the face melting effects of course - is perhaps Estrada's encounter with a deranged female undertaker, as she nearly beats him to pulp her mortuary. "Light Blast" stars several memorable villainous characters, in fact. Ennio Girolami is terrific as the psychopathic Dr. Soboda. I bet that Enzo Castellari really wanted to cast Lee Van Cleef for this role, because Girolama looks a lot like him and even imitates his typical evil grimaces. Seriously, if you don't enjoy "Light Blast" you're a true sourpuss and you need to go see a doctor! This movie is just too much fun.