A Certain Sacrifice

Complete crap! The biggest joke of the year, no wait, the biggest joke ever! Waiste of VALUABLE time and effort. Worse than basement junk. The only thing it's better than is sitting in bed vomitting, eh, even then doubtful. Even the story plots of the Smurfs cartoons seem like Oscar winning story lines compared to this complete, worthless, mindless, empty, pathetic, stupid, forsaken, unbelievable, no effort, cheap, no money budget, not even any snacks at break time during shooting, no class, boring, no pride, valueless, meaningless, piece of old car junk engine, "human made noises below the waste" of a sound track, embarrassing, shameful, and "cover your face for eternity for being seen in this" of a movie! The writer/director should be sacrificed!

In a hilariously ironic twist of events, pre-stardom Madonna (Ciccone) is the sexual target here, that of lustful New York City street-demons who paw at her whitebread innocence in this super-tacky Super-8 fiasco. Long, rambling section with Maddy in the backseat of a limo, making quasi-jaded comments about her surroundings, will tire any fan's patience, and the surreal jumble which substitutes as the finale is the most garish and garbled ten minutes of celluloid I've ever had the misfortune of sitting through. Yes, it's terrible, it's excruciating, but I rented it with this in mind and I must say it did not disappoint...

What can one say to defend a movie like "A Certain Sacrifice"? Even I, as much as I LOVED (yes, LOVED) this movie, must ask myself. As you may know from other reviews and such, Madonna has a very early role as a deathrocker who gets together with a very angry "philosopher" who left the suburbs for New York's underbelly. (I related to this on a lot of levels, so I know it's possible to say that there are some fascinating characters, events, and ideas in this ugly, little film!) Then, there's that "Raymond Hall" guy, who is quite the successful attempt at the creation of a character who is so repulsive, you just wanna get sick every time he's on screen (until he's about to be killed, then it's funny)! Anyway, Raymond is a horny, dirty IL' dude, who ends up raping Madonna in the bathroom, while loving boyfriend Dashiel (the philosopher... heh heh) waits for her to fix her make-up. The gory revenge that ensues (with the help of Madonna's Gothic sex cult, or her "family of lovers") gets cheezier and cheezier, but, thankfully, the filmmakers are well aware (they just don't give a f*ck). So... is the sound bad? YES! Is the dialogue sometimes hurtfully cheezy? YES! Is the acting terrible? Not nearly all of it. In fact, most of it was pretty damn good, even though Madonna's better acting moments were when she started to come off as a Goth castaway from a John Waters movie toward the end. (And, yes, I know John Waters doesn't have a lot of Goths in his movies, but it's the best comparison I can think of!) Anyway, is the gore very minimal and fake-looking? YES, but still it's a lovely touch! Is Madonna shown fully nude? NO, but she's shown topless several times, once even covered in the blood of her slaughtered rapist. Also: This movie MUST be seen when you're VERY intoxicated. Then it can sink right in. I've done it three times, I think I turned out alright, but my wife's head needs to stop calling me from the 'fridge. Time to listen to some more Pattnosh.... mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! FIVE STARS (and I HATE to rate things with stars!)

If you don't mind watching a B-movie from the late 70's, shot on Super 8 film, with an art-student edge and poor sound, then you might dig it. One of the reasons why you might, particularly if you are a Madonna fan, is the fact that this is practically the only MOVING FOOTAGE (rather than the many still photos)that captured her before she was a star, at that very interesting period when she was twenty in New York, had only been there for a year or two, and at certain periods was nearly starving. This is a very sexual movie, but not in a conventional sense, it is chock full of simple impulse and flirts with the satanic. In short, it's just plain weird. It probably would best be described as a few steps up from a homemade film. An interesting piece of TRIVIA is that at the time this movie was being made, right before the rape scene in the coffee shop restroom, the director did something to try to up the authenticity of Madonna's acting. Director Stephen Lewicki took the actor who played her rapist aside and instructed him to rip her blouse off during the scene---- a detail Madonna had no idea about. If you look closely, there is an undeniably real sense of shock on her face during the scene, and I remember reading in some biography of hers that they used that take, that the director was pleased with the result. (Madonna wasn't harmed, just a little surprised.) Another bit of interesting TRIVIA is that among her on screen "family of lovers" were a few people she actually hung out with at the time, including Angie Smit, a dutch girl who had studied dancing with Madonna before she dropped out, and later had a brief stint in a band Madonna spent a great deal of time with, "The Breakfast Club."

This movie has some parts to it that are hilariously retarted, and are actually amusing. I was (and still am) a die-hard Madonna fan when I first saw this movie, and even I was a tad disappointed. For all you folks who aren't a real big fan of hers, I wouldn't recommend it, but on the whole, as I said, it was somewhat amusing. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MOVIE SHOT ON DECENT FILM, WITH ABOVE AVERAGE ACTING, YOU ARE LOOKING IN THE WRONG PLACE. THIS MOVIE IS INTERESTING AT BEST.

This is Madonna's film debut according to the DVD cover- And if she was the only one to ever be involved in film again, justice was almost served. This movie is terrible- from the talentless acting, a worthless script, horrible sound, and poor quality of the film in general, you will definitely want your hour back (which is how long this movie really is, although it seems like eternity) There is only one somewhat cool part of this whole movie, and that is the song at the climax. The 20 year-old Madonna shows a bit of flesh, but who hasn't seen her breasts by now? As magnificent as they may be, it's hardly worth sitting through this- skip right to the end, enjoy the song, and save yourself the other 55 minutes of suffering through the rest of the movie