Weekend Pass

In what sounds like the perfect recipe for an 80s sex comedy, four naval recruits get a weekend pass and head to Los Angeles for 72 hours of fun. Unfortunately, 'fun' in this case consists largely of driving aimlessly around town in a jeep, getting in a scrap with a badly dressed street gang, visiting the world's worst comedy club, and busting some moves at an aerobics themed party (WARNING: this film contains scenes of gratuitous body popping and gaudy spandex outfits which may cause uncontrollable hysteria and/or feelings of nausea).

The weekend's more risqué activities are limited to a quick visit to a strip joint, hiring a topless masseuse (the only one in LA who doesn't offer extras!), and for one member of the group, almost getting jiggy with an ex-girlfriend (the fool chickens out when he realises that she is more experienced in the sack than he is). Not much to boast about when they get back to base, then.

By the end of their not very wild weekend, each guy has successfully hooked up with a 'nice' girl, meaning that they've had zero nookie, and that anyone unfortunate enough to have watched this wretched bilge has had zero fun.

The plot of WEEKEND PASS reminded me of those old musical comedies starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra in which a trio of up-for-it sailors come on shore leave for the weekend and engage in all kind of escapades. Unfortunately this is the lame '80s comedy version of the story, put out by trash purveyors Crown International, and it's as dumb and stereotypical as you'd expect.

The problems are tenfold. For starters, the main characters are all jerks, and I mean real scumbags. When you see the way they treat women and find out the kind of humour they enjoy then you'll end up hating them too. Secondly, the adventures they embark on are dumb and designed to titillate than anything else. They end up at a sleazy strip club, allowing for ample nudity from the female extras, and also head to a comedy club and listen to various racist and offensive jokes.

To pad out the running time there are a few sub-plots here and there and some slapstick moments, although surprisingly for a Crown International film, no scene of a dog tearing off a woman's bikini top. Oh well - you can't have everything...

Though the adventures of the sailors in this caper unfold over the course of the weekend indicated in the title, this bare bones offering seems to have been written and produced in even less time than that. This quick and economical approach was precisely the driving force behind Crown International's massive roster of b-flicks, a library that encompasses minor classics to unwatchable duds and everything in between, but in the case of Weekend Pass less is definitely less.

The story is built more on a scenario than an actual plot, following a quartet of Navy lads fresh out of basic training as they trek to Los Angeles for one last splurge of hedonistic freedom before reporting for duty. The first half of the movie essentially doubles as a tour of 1980's LA as the group drives aimlessly from one site to the next, hitting Sunset Boulevard, then a strip club, then the beach, and just to make sure the flick packs in as many requisite decade cliches as possible, the squad also takes an aerobics class and spends some time in south central gang turf.

There is a vague attempt made to infuse this otherwise banal road trip with some sex comedy tropes, but the film falls well short there by failing to deliver any legitimately funny moments--an especially egregious oversight in this case, given that a healthy chunk of the movie actually takes place inside a comedy club where the late great Phil Hartman serves as MC; yet, sadly, nothing especially humorous happens there, either. There's also no sex, so aside from a few bursts of gratuitous nudity, much of the action plays out like a generic PG teen rom-com.

Still, while this result may frustrate viewers expecting a healthy dose of raunch, it does serve to present the four leads as likeable scamps rather than horny dirtbags. Likewise, the gals they end up paired with are a refreshing change of pace from the new-wave strippers, naked masseuses, and vapid showbiz predators they initially lust after. The result is four couples you end up sincerely rooting for, which is a surprising outcome in a film that is otherwise built on tedium rather than engagement.

That satisfying finale isn't enough, though. The cocktail napkin plot requires lots of padding to flesh out into a feature-length film, so the few noteworthy aspects here are swallowed in a sea of filler. Director Lawrence Bassoff (who would go on to helm the last, and worst, Crown International release, Hunk) may have been hamstrung by working from a script that was ostensibly only 15 pages long, but that doesn't excuse his lazy mismanagement of the run-time. The strip club scene, which is there merely to set up a semi-comical exchange with one of the dancers, eats up twenty minutes of the film and features three complete performances. Ditto with the afore-mentioned sequence in the comedy club, where one of the sailors finally gets a chance to achieve his dream of doing stand-up... but not until after we sit through 15 minutes of painfully unfunny material from a slew of performers who otherwise have nothing to do with the movie. Certainly, a flick of this caliber isn't likely to draw the next Scorcese, but given how much emphasis is placed upon the bond between our principal Navy brothers during the conclusion, Weekend Pass would have been far better served by allowing its leads more onscreen camaraderie instead of squandering so much time on the film's unmemorable ancillary players and dead-end diversions.

In more capable hands, this movie could have maximized the potential of its endearing cast by giving them some genuinely humorous material to work with. Unfortunately, most of what ultimately ended up on the screen here is a slog to get through. And, while this certainly isn't the the shoddiest entry in the Crown International catalog, it stands as a largely forgettable jaunt that is easily overshadowed by any number of like-minded flicks of its era. Even if you have a whole weekend to spare, there are a lot better ways to fill it than this.

"Weekend Pass" did pretty well at the box office for a low budget youth comedy with no big stars in its cast. However, it's all but forgotten today. Watching it, it's pretty easy to figure out why it hasn't built even a minor cult. There's no real story here - it's just a bunch of vignettes that have little to no relationship with each other. There are a number of attempts at humor, but they all fall completely flat. The musical score is pretty bad - I'm sure even audiences in 1984 thought the music was sub par. And while there is some T & A, none of the characters actually gets lucky, at least on screen.

Still, I have to admit that the movie is not COMPLETELY terrible. The production values are pretty good for a low budget movie, taking us to a number of places that include some L.A. locations you don't usually see in a B movie. The four main characters come across as pretty likable guys, supporting each other and having warm personalities. And the final sequence has a surprising amount of emotion. I'm not saying this stuff saves the movie, but it helps to make the viewing experience less painful than you may be expecting.

Three navy guys - a nerd (they have those in the navy?) a handsome jock type, and a black guy, have a "weekend pass" in the city.

Surprise surprise, they visit a strip club first, so that the movie can get some bare breasts in. Then it quickly loses its momentum and we stop feeling like we're along for the ride.

There is a scene where the nerd has a massage from an Asian lady, who takes her top off.

Then there is no more nudity.

The black guy turns out to be an ex-gang member, who has to fight with the now-gang leader.

There is an endless scene where they go to another club and see comedians on stage, none of whom are funny, but nor are they supposed to be. Poor, ill-fated Phil Hartman makes a cameo appearance. We get it: these comedians aren't funny. Why do they have to go on for so long? Why do there have to be so many of them?

One of the handsome jock navy guys (I thought there was only one?) goes back to a hotel room with some lady, who takes her top off in the movie's third scene of nudity, after 30-40 minutes of fully clothed people.

The movie has titles announcing the day and time of each series of scenes. I wonder if they added that after realising the movie has no sense of the passage of time, despite supposedly taking place over one weekend.

"Weekend Pass" may not be funny or sexy, but it's not as bad as most of these '80s boob comedies. The characters may be mostly out to get laid, but at least they end up finding women they connect with on a deeper level. I could have done without the black guy fighting with the gang leader, though. That was like a throwback to '70s exploitation flicks... but not in a good way.