Kaine le mercenaire

Would you believe it, a sword and sorcery adaption of Akira Kurosawa's classic, Yojimbo?! Yes indeed and it's actually rather entertaining stuff to boot in fact.

David Carradine stars as a mysterious, monosyllabic, sword wielding wanderer (try repeating that when you're drunk!) who arrives in a town run by two warring factions and who subsequently proceeds to counter sell his fighting prowess to each side in turn, whilst simultaneously playing them both off against one another.

Containing some nicely implemented sword play (choreographed by fellow star in this and always fun to watch, Anthony De Longis), a fair quota of breasts including one woman who bears four, yes FOUR of them(!) and even a rubbery tentacled monster, this proves to be a highly satisfying watch if your in the mood for the like.

Its the 80's and Sword and Sorcery without CGI is the game. David Carradine wanders into town with a massive sword and runs through the script of Yojimbo, then he runs through a series of henchman in some poorly executed fight scenes.

There is a town and a well that provides all the water. Two hopeless chieftains battle for control until Carradine plays both sides.

Budget must have been very tight, most of the savings made in the Women's clothing budgets - nudity a standard.

The film is just lacking in almost all areas, but at least it gets on with it in a breezy 80 minutes and therefore carries enough dumb fun to completely outweigh its welcome.

This movie has all the classic elements of a standard fantasy movie - a few good ideas and loads of bad execution. Notable for the appearance of David Carradine who plays just about the most unsympathetic character I've seen him play. Check out the exotic dancer scene, good for a few laughs. The extras were obviously new to acting, since they could hardly have done a worse job. Nevertheless, the script has a decent plot to it.

This movie was not great by any means. The plot was acceptable, and sometimes comical. The characters were fairly one-dimensional and relatively easy to predict. The movie was more for laughs than anything else, as there are quite a number of random things. If you ever watch the movie, be on the lookout for: a talking lizard, pointless nudity, and David Carradine pulling down his eye socket (which was completely bizarre). This movie was not the best 'worst' movie ever, but it was fairly decent for mindless entertainment. The swordplay was tolerable too, but the sets were awful. I enjoyed it though, as David Carradine is just so cool in his own right.

So, it's not the latest Merchant-Ivory production. Let's face it, those blokes could certainly learn a thing or two from the Roger Corman school of filmmaking.

"THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS" has a lot going for it, and bears the distinction of being the only film in motion picture history to ever combine all of the following elements* into a neat 77 minute package AND still manage to pack the kids' lunches, run for Governor of Illinois and pick up last week's dry cleaning all at the same time. What a trooper!

*"The following elements"... -- David Carradine -- Tons of naked women -- Sword fights (inept and otherwise) -- Maria Socas running around topless eighty percent of the time -- Cues from James Horner's "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" score -- Tons of breasts... the friendly kind -- A fat man and his angry lizard (that astounds like no other animatronic, yet immobile angry lizard ever could!) -- A chick with four... count 'em... four tits (beat that Verhoeven!) -- And, of course... David Carradine.

What more could you ask for? A blender? This film deserves it's own category. Peplum Film Noir.

If you want to send love this Christmas, give 'em "THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS". They'll devour it in 77 minutes flat... and, love you for it, if time permits.