Star Slammer: La Prison des étoiles

This is a cheesy,low budget late 80's piece of crap. The opening score is a direct rip-off from Raiders/Lost Ark but changes every few notes so as not to be sued. Awful acting, some good gore, always threats of lesbianism but nothing to show for it, some strange costumes and "little people" running around with awful speeded-up voices. A mess, but my friends and I love to get together and watch "bad" movies and we really hooted and hollered at most of this. It's No Star Crash or Space Mutiny (true low budget cheese sci-fi disaster classics) but it has some fun moments.

OK. So the line above is kinda silly, but so is this film.

Fred Olen ray is a master at spending no money, and somehow always having a film to show for it. Granted, most of his films end up being very static due to lack of monies for alternate takes and complex editing.

OK. So Ray isn't what you'd call Speilberg. His films concentrate on borrowed sets and costumes(this one's got them), has-been actors( Sid Haig, John Carradine, Aldo Ray, ect.), and some of the most stiff and lifeless dialogue this side of Ray Dennis Steckler.

PRISON SHIP( I saw this as STAR SLAMMER) is a piece of junk, filled with borrowed effects from BATTLESTAR GALLACTICA and BUCK RODGERS. There is some skin, but not enough. Mostly, there is talk, and as many a reviewer likes to point out, Fred Olen Ray makes very chatty pictures. That's because he either doesn't have the creativity, or the perspective, to realize that you don't need a ton of money to make a good film. You just need talent.

Why should I continue? PRISON SHIP is cheesy, and painful. Don't watch this unless you must see every film that John Carradine is in (or you really like train wrecks).

The appealing Sandy Brooke plays Taura, an Amazonian miner who is targeted by a bad guy named Bantor (Ross Hagen), a sadistic government agent. She is sentenced by a judge (John Carradine, in a VERY quick cameo) to prison time on a spaceship, the "Star Slammer" of the title. She earns the respect of fellow inmates such as "Mike" (Suzy Stokey), and gets on the bad side of the kinky warden (Marya Gant) and her eyepatch wearing henchwoman "Muffin" (Dawn Wildsmith).

There's definitely something to be said for movies by the likes of Fred Olen Ray, the director here. There's a complete lack of pretension, as Ray seeks to do no more than entertain the viewers, albeit in a low budget, cheesy way. He's essentially doing a W.I.P. (Women In Prison) exploitation feature, transposed to a science-fiction environment. There's unfortunately no shower scene, but there are the expected catfights, and the attractive female cast shows some of the goods while dressed in stylized, skimpy costumes. The gore and creature effects are wonderfully tacky; be on the lookout for a cameo by the monster in "The Deadly Spawn". Sets, special effects and music all do a suitable job of maintaining interest for a cult-movie loving crowd. Also look for a quick shot from John Carpenters' "Dark Star" and space battle footage bodily lifted from "Battle Beyond the Stars".

Stokey (who does her own harmonica playing at one point) and Brooke are engaging heroines, while Hagen, Gant, and Wildsmith all relish the chance to tear into the scenery. Aldo Ray is kind of wasted as a mutated sadist dubbed The Inquisitor, but at least he gets more screen time than Carradine. Screenwriter Michael Sonye (a.k.a. Dukey Flyswatter) also plays the supporting role of Bantors' flunky Krago. Johnny Legend gives a positively goofy performance as the wandering priest Zaal. Director Ray and Jack H. Harris, who produced the picture with him, have voice-only cameos.

While not one of Rays' best, "Star Slammer" (a.k.a. "The Adventures of Taura: Prison Ship Star Slammer") shows fans of schlock a good time.

Seven out of 10.

There is a leech-eating scene.... need I say more? At one point, during the requisite prison cafeteria food-fight scene, several of the actresses literally crack up and start giggling during their lines.

One of the actresses, a doctor, was actually not half bad (in comparison), and I felt very sad for her; the rest of the actresses didn't seem to take the script seriously at all, and who can blame them? They were probably coeds promised free beer if they showed up and read from cue cards.

This movie is so very bad that it's actually hysterically funny.

Although I enjoy watching drive-in style movies, I have to confess that there is a genre in this genre I have never particularly enjoyed, and that is the women-in-prison genre. I like the *sound* of what the genre promises to offer, but I have always found the actual execution to be dull and boring. And all of these movies seem the same after a while. When I heard about PRISON SHIP (better known as STAR SLAMMER), I was intrigued. A women-in-prison movie taking place in the future, and in space? I decided to give it a chance.

The fact that Fred Olen Ray directed this movie should have warned me. In fairness, not everything in the movie is bad. The sets and spaceship models, while definitely low budget, are not as bad to the eye as you may think. There is the occasional in-joke that made me smile (a planet is called "Arous", there's an alien that looks like one of the aliens from the movie THE DEADLY SPAWN). And there are a few unintentional laughs, like when the musical score sounds very much like the musical score for RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.

Aside from those bright moments, I found the movie tough to sit through. It's incredibly slow-moving - there is simply no plot advance for long stretches of time. The female heroine is poorly sketched, with a lot of the focus surprisingly not on her. And while you may expect the movie to be sleazy, it feels more like a PG-rated movie - there's almost no nudity, no real sex, and light violence.

Thank goodness they didn't make the sequel that's announced at the end of the movie.