Les guerriers de la jungle

A group of fashion models travel with their producer Larry (Marjoe Gortner) and pilot/guide Ben (Kai Wulff) to a South American jungle for a photo assignment. What could possibly go wrong?

Jungle Warriors is worth seeing for any self-respecting fan of crap B-movies if only for its horrible theme song, which has to be the most tuneless bit of warbling ever to grace a movie. The woman responsible for this insult to music lovers everywhere is Italian singer Marina Arcangeli: I'm guessing that her surname translates as Archangel, but let me assure you that there's nothing angelic about her voice, which is pure audible evil, sucking at the soul with every screeching syllable.

Abysmal title song aside, this film is a fairly routine piece of cheesy 80s European action with a predictably dumb plot: the models are captured by a gang of ruthless drug runners who occupy a nearby Spanish fortress and, after their male companions are killed (Larry is caught in a booby trap, Ben has his head hacked off), they are left at the mercy of the despicable baddies, who rape and torture them. Escape is, of course, inevitable, but how many of them will make it out of the jungle alive?

This nonsense is made slightly more bearable thanks to a solid cast that includes seasoned genre regulars Paul L. Smith, John Vernon, Woody Strode, and Sybil Danning. Beware, however, of the severely edited R2 version of the film: the copy that I saw had clearly suffered at the scissors of the censors, the more extreme moments shorn of gore and nudity, making the experience rather frustrating for exploitation fans such as myself.

5/10 (although it might possibly be worth a 6 with the juicier stuff intact).

First the bad news. "Jungle Warriors" has about as much realism as a rat f...ing a grapefruit. More bad news, for a women in prison type, this seriously lacks skin. Still more bad news, Sybil Danning is basically wasted with not much screen time, and very little to do. She is however boldly featured on the DVD cover. The plot revolves around an uneasy alliance and drug deal between cocaine producer, Paul L. Smith, and Mafia kingpin, John Vernon. Drop into this jungle stew, seven no talent actress beauties led by Nina van Palandt who suddenly morph into jungle warriors, and that about wraps up the bad. Now for the good. The final showdown between Paul L. Smith and one of Vernon's goons is quite brutal and was for me the highlight of what must be considered bad news cinema. - MERK

I admit that I might have had a higher opinion of "Jungle Warriors" if I had been able to see it in its full form; the Region 2 DVD version features many painfully obvious cuts that make the film more of a jumble than it already is (it would struggle to get a PG-13 in this form). What's left of "Jungle Warriors" is not that good, anyway: it only gets interesting when the girls are machine gunning down the bad guys, but that doesn't happen often enough (actually, most of the bad guys just kill each other off). Admittedly, casting Paul L. Smith and Sybil Danning as kinky half-siblings was an inspired exploitation idea, but Danning is actually kind of wasted in this film. *1/2 out of 4.

A cheap cross between women-in-prison thriller and jungle adventure, JUNGLE WARRIORS is notable for featuring a quite incredible all-star cast mired in B-movie hell. You get the likes of John Vernon, Marjoe Gortner, Sybil Danning, Paul Smith and Woody Strode appearing in what is essentially a girls-with-guns story beginning with capture, leading to torment, then escape, and finally catharsis. It's all very cheap and cheerful, and surprisingly quite silly despite the grim subject matter.

A seemingly ordinary jungle action fare, this one benefits from a couple of notable twists, the main one being the group of heroines consisting of models! Although this probably helps to make this film utterly unbelievable, that is in turn heightened by good villanous casting, giving us no less than four major "bad guys", including the seldom disappointing Woody Strode and never disappointing Sybil Danning.

Add to this mixture the total lack of any concern for realism, and you get what I call an entertaining little picture. OK, it's not a masterpiece on any level, but it is good at what it wants to be.

Released on video in Finland in the early eighties.