Chattanooga Choo Choo

For the lovers of trains, this movie is right up the rails! Barbara Eden of "I Dream of Jeanine", and a lot of celebrities like George Kennedy, football great Joe Namath, Melissa Sue Anderson of "Little House on the Prairie" and other to name a few. The railroad patriarch celebrates his 75th birthday, his son is seeing another woman, is late to his party, sending his granddaughter pictures of her fiance with twins, so she can get engaged with a Duke. But when the patriarch dies, he wills out the requests to his entrusted people: his porter, Woodrow(Davis Roberts), Estelle(Bridget Hanley), Jennie(Melissa Sue Anderson), and Bert(Kennedy) with the condition of being prompt with the train being on time. It may seem like things are going to plan, however, Bert leaves his wife at the station, the girlfriend slipped aboard the train without him knowing. The ex-fiance is determined to get her back. He later found out that the pictures were doctored up,and the Duke was a fraud. More hilarity ensues when one of the football players is so hard up, that he drilled a hole to spy on the cheerleaders. I laughed a lot on this film, even the outtakes were memorable. This movie is for train enthusiasts and lovers of the great song. All aboard to the rails of hilarity. Have plenty to eat watching this goofy film. 3.5 out of 5 stars!

Totally incoherent and really down-right dumb mess follows a cast of characters on a train of all things. The title, based on the very popular song that came about in the 1940s, is the only real connection for the episodic situations. As bad as this is it may still win a few over with its stupidity. Joe Namath (former New York Jets quarterback) makes the largest impression in a whacked cast that includes Barbara Eden ("I Dream of Jeannie" fame) and the usually dependable George Kennedy. With all the shortcomings (they are way too numerous to go into) I still ended up having a fair time on the ride. Not near enough for a recommendation of course, but I have seen much worse in my time. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Fun-filled cast serves up the laughs in this sitcom style comedy about an unscrupulous football team owner and his endeavors to live up to his father in law's will.

Even rail buffs will be turned off by this waste of celluloid. A non-connected, early-'80s "Porky"-style adolescent string of puns and bathroom humor that is an insult to anyone who has rented this expecting some railroad action. In fact, the train itself is hardly seen. Get "Silver Streak" instead.

I have a theory about "Chattanooga Choo Choo".

This was a made-for-TV movie (look at the cast!) and somehow the cans made their way to movie theaters instead of the network and inadvertently got shown at your local theater. That's the only explanation I can offer for why such a stupid movie got released.

Eden's first major release in a decade is certainly nothing Major Nelson would approve of. With speeding trains, laxative, purple clothes, glue in peepholes, stuttering cheerleaders and Joe Namath, there is plenty of goofiness but nothing special. When George Kennedy in his underwear doesn't make you laugh, you know there's something seriously wrong.

This "Choo Choo" is just a time-filler between an episode of "Taxi" and your local news.

Three stars. No go, Joe.