The Boxer's Omen

I have to give this film a high rating just for the fact that it is so utterly insane, disgusting but at times brilliant. When I was in the USA last year, I went into a cool little Indy Music and DVD shop looking for a Martial Arts movie to watch that night. This little gem jumped off the shelf into my hands. Watching it that night, I actually found myself so horrified with some of the scenes, I was looking around the room to see if anyone else might be watching me watching the movie. You see, I was visiting family and didn't want to be categorised as the strange chap from London who watches films where wizards eat chickens testicles. To me, it had the spirit of Jodorowsky with some absolutely amazing scenes of transcendence by Buddhist meditation that still look awesome with today's technology. Not many movies like this. Really glad i found it.

I reckon that if I were to ever try and compile a Top Ten list of the craziest Hong Kong films ever made, it's almost a dead cert that The Boxer's Omen would be in there somewhere: the film is bats••t bonkers from start to finish. I doubt that a mere written description of the weirdness on display could ever do the film justice, but here's my best shot....

Chan Hung is a Hong Kong boxer who travels to Thailand to avenge his brother, who was crippled in a fight with unscrupulous opponent Mr. Bu-bo (played by martial arts movie legend Bolo Yeung, who rarely fights fair in his films). After agreeing to a boxing match against Bu-bo in three months time, Chan visits a Buddhist temple where he is drawn into a battle with an evil wizard who has used his dark powers to prevent the local abbot from achieving immortality.

The supernatural skirmish that ensues sees the wicked magician using some bizarre techniques to try and gain the upper hand against Chan, including summoning killer bats from the eye sockets of crocodile skulls (which also come alive), using rat blood to bring a skeletal bat back to life, cutting off a chicken's head to perform a spell, conjuring up a flying alien head from a gloopy mess of puke, and ultimately removing his own noggin from his shoulders to launch a last-ditch attack. It's all for nowt, though, 'cos the wizard loses the fight when sunlight makes his head dissolve.

After all of that, the film gets REALLY strange.

A triumphant Chan arrives home to find his girlfriend in the shower and joins her for some soapy fun; unfortunately, this spot of impromptu sex saps him of his powers, which isn't great news for the guy when three more evil wizards start to cause him trouble. They use a dead crocodile to give birth to a naked witch that blinds Chan during his bout with Bu-bo and who attacks him while he is in Nepal trying to find a relic that can end the evil once and for all. There's also something about an extract from a 1000 year-old fungus smeared with honey that can make him invincible. Oh, and the witch has her skin pulled off by a dead lama and gives birth to the three wizards (wrapped in cellophane?!?!) who then sacrifice themselves to create an army of miniature one-eyed dinosaurs with crazy hair (I'm sure I've missed a lot of other equally insane stuff out, but that should be more than enough to give you an idea of just how bizarre the film is).

The special effects used to realise all of this are undeniably cheap and unconvincing, but their shonkiness only adds to the fun. I rate The Boxer's Omen 8/10 purely for being such a relentlessly absurd—and, as a result, hugely entertaining—piece of Asian excess.

I feel like Roy Batty at the end of Blade Runner, because this movie made me see things you people wouldn't believe. I sometimes feel like I've seen it all, after nearly three decades of watching movies and having seen thousands at this point, but The Boxer's Omen is unlike anything else. It's got mixed martial arts, supernatural horror, nightmarish fantasy/mythological elements, and plenty of genuinely disgusting gross-out scenes that genuinely made me feel queasy.

I can't even explain most of the things I just saw. This was a fever dream of a movie, and I don't even know if I really saw some of the things that I think I just saw. This movie just never stops finding bizarre, gross, and creative things to throw at its protagonist and, by extension, its audience. It's a ride that's mostly fun, but at other points feels dangerously deranged, and kind of uncomfortable... but it works, given this is clearly going for horror. While it's not the kind of horror that'll make me struggle to sleep tonight, it is the kind of horror that got a reaction from me.

I know only one person - maybe two people - who I could potentially show this to without them disowning me, and it's the kind of movie where I think I have to show it to someone, just so they can validate it really exists and the things on-screen really did happen. This movie's 104 minutes of utter insanity, and it made me very uncomfortable but I also had a surprisingly good time, so watch it if you think you've seen everything.

This one's definitely one to see, just to say you've seen it. That's not to say you won't get something out of it, but it's weird… it's tremendously weird! It starts off predictably enough, with a revenge flick set-up, but soon goes off on superbly bizarre tangents involving flying heads, automaton Buddhas and tons of maggots and oodles of vomit. It seems that anything to do with magic also involves maggots and vomit.

A word of warning to people - like me - who like to try to psycho-analyse weird films, books etc.; don't try. Your head will hurt. The best thing to do when watching this, is just to let it wash over you.

A shady Chinese boxer gets caught up in a web of fate, buddhism and black magic when he's in Thailand to avenge his brother who was crippled in a dirty fight with a thai boxer. It turns out in a past life he was the twin brother of a enlightened buddhist monk, who is now preserved in a state between life and death after being poison-spelled by a powerful black magician who wanted to stop him to reach full enlightenment and eternal life. Only the power of Buddah stops the semi-dead monk's body from decomposing, and since their fates are linked from previous lives, when the monk finally decomposes the boxer will die too... a horrible, messy death! So the boxer has to become a taoist monk and beat the black magician to break the poisonous spell and save his life and the eternal life of his ex-twin brother (are you confused yet?). But the black magician has a few cards up his sleeve too... or rather decks and decks of 'em to! The final battle between good and evil that takes place is in an inferno of laser beams, crocodile carcasses, weird magic, maggots, bats, magic relics, devouring of disgusting foods, adult baby birth, monk chanting, puke eating, monsters etc. etc. etc... You could go on and on and on!

At the risk of sounding like a fashion-blogger: GAH! OMG! I can't believe I haven't seen this before! All I can say is do believe the hype because this is an amazing slice of HK black magic-weirdness. And best of all it's not only "so weird it's good" like movies like Devil Fetus or Wolf Devil Woman, it's actually a really good, original, well-crafted weird film with good actors, production values, lots and lots of imaginative effects and impressive trippy cinematography... visually it looks nothing else! All the actors work fine but extra credit goes to the guy who played the black magician (he's sort of like an though-to-be harmless, half-crazy old hobo who gets sudden outbursts of extreme anger) - best voodoo-style screen black magician ever! Genius! Not a guy I would let anywhere near a chicken farm though... A question: Did HK producers hire their cast at the geek section at their local freak show or was it considered a normal thing to eat maggots, kill animals and puke live barracudas (!) in Hong Kong movies?

Even though I didn't find it scary (a little bit disgusting maybe) I had WILD nightmares about witches and black magic all night tonight. I even woke up at five in the morning scared as hell, decided it was too good to miss and fell right back to sleep. It was like the film's sweetness continued in my dreams.

Sorry catholicism, paganism, old school (pre-LaVey) satanism & Jewish mysticism - close but no cigar, buddhism is now the coolest religion on the block. An absolute must-see!