J'aurai ta peau

This so-so detective yarn feels more like a TV movie than the noir-ish piece of cinema you might expect from a Spillane novel. But it has a few moments.

What makes this movie worth watching is the smoking Nicaraguan beauty Barbara Carrera. She has a fully-nude love scene that steals the show. If you're a Barbara Carrera fan, you should rent this movie and fast-forward to that scene (a little over 1 hour into the movie). You won't be disappointed.

This actually a combination of two Spillane books "I the Jury" and "The Body Lovers" This is not a great film, but good. The action and plot are pretty good and Assante gives a decent performance, but the thing that I remember the most is just how damn sexy Barbara Carrera is in this movie. I watched this movie with my mom on cinemax one night when I was in junior high school and I had to sit with a pillow on my lap. She blows away Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. She's very tempting at the end when she confronts Mike Hammer and he's got to make a life and death decision. This movie belongs to her. She has been good in other movies, but this is her best performance. It's worth watching for any fan of Barbara Carrera and sleazy action movies

I've been watching Armand Assante since he was one of the Mike Powers on The Doctors some 37 years ago, and in all that time, I've never once thought of him as Mike Hammer. I still don't.

In I, the Jury, Hammer goes to work on a different kind of case as he tries to find the killer of Jack Williams, a man who served with him in Vietnam and, while retrieving Mike's helmet, lost his arm. Jack was investigating something when he was killed, but what? After consulting Jack's widow, Mike finds out they went to sex therapy at a clinic, so he starts there. The head of the clinic, the beautiful Dr. Bennett (Barbara Carrera) freezes him out of her office. Mike ultimately realizes that Jack was there working undercover and found out something that resulted in him being murdered. This winds up involving Mike with the CIA, a mental patient, bad cops, and a rogue Army officer.

Lots of violence and nudity and in the end for me anyway, not worth it. Assante does as good a job as he can, but he's no Mike Hammer. For one thing, he is too exotic-looking, for another, he's not hard-boiled. He's too smooth and his Mike is juxtaposed against the backdrop of some of the seedier parts of New York City in 1982, before Disney moved into Times Square. I did absolutely love seeing the New York where I lived - the Times Square smut, Colony Records, the Broadway/7th Aveue area, great fun.

Not really my type of thing. It may be if you like violence and nude women, this is for you.

Private Detective Mike Hammer (Armand Assante) investigates the murder of his friend Jack Williams who lost his arm to the Tet Offensive. Pat Chambers (Paul Sorvino) is the lead police detective in the case. Jack's wife Myrna reveals that they had been going to sex therapist Dr. Charlotte Bennett. His investigation connects Mike to a secret military program with help from his beautiful secretary Velda. Soon, they're hunted by mysterious agents. Mike follows the gun to mobster Charles Kalecki (Alan King).

Finding the bug seems very random. There are conveniences and contrivances. It's fine for an 80's action movie. It has the harden charisma of Assante although there is a bit of European coolness about him. It gives Hammer a nice sexiness. The plot is quite convoluted which borders on a Bond movie. Instead of a noir pulp detective, Bond does seem like the bigger inspiration. It's not until he gets a little bloodied that it starts to feel noir. There is even a bevy of Bond beauties. The only thing missing is the exotic locations. It's strictly New York City and that's perfectly good with its remaining sleaze. It fits the sex and violence. The production is closer to TV level except for the R-rated elements.

Oh the 70s was a great time for crime features… although "I, the Jury" was made in the early eighties it had me thinking it was from the 70s like some sort leftovers that found itself in the wrong decade. And hey that's not a bad thing at all. Originally it looked like it was cult-filmmaker Larry Cohen's project, as he penned the screenplay and was to direct to only be replaced by Richard T. Heffron (Futureworld). This is another adaptation of novelist's Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer character. Private detective Mike Hammer looks into the case to seek revenge when he learns of the killing of his one-armed ex-army buddy. What he digs up about his mate's death, is something quite big.

"I, the Jury" is a tough as nails, lean and steamy pulp crime / film noir feature that's sexually charged (an opened orgy sequence) and brutally violent (a ghastly slit throat) amongst a rather seedy backdrop. Filling in the role as the iconic Mike Hammer is a fittingly hardboiled, but wry Armand Assante. Surrounding him is a bunch of attractive, but formidable ladies in the shape of Barbara Carrera and Laurene Landon. Also you got the likes of Paul Sorvino, Alan King, Geoffrey Lewis and Barry Snider pitching in with good performances. Cohen's story remains exhaustively captivating; by always being on the move in what is a complicated web of conspiracies and leads. The dialogues are bold. Sometimes contrived in its actions, but it does open up a can of worms. Heffron's steadfast direction is economically staged with moments of thrilling engagements and brooding passages that he's not afraid to bare flesh, but at times it felt like I was watching a long-winded TV episode. Bill Conti composes a titillatingly smoking blues score, which installs a whirlwind of emotion.