The Swiss Conspiracy

This movie was paced so slowly that even snails would be saying "Hello, I'd like to get there sometime today!" The best part of the movie is where this chef in a restaurant goes after someone with a cleaver. After that it goes downhill from there. So yeah, there's a conspiracy to forward the cause of bad films everywhere. I had to watch the ending a couple of times because I kept nodding off. If you are suffering from insomnia, pop this movie in and start watching it. It worked so well,that I almost got fired for sleeping on the job. If you want to see a better movie starring David Janssen, go watch Moon of the Wolf. In fact, the only reason I saw this movie was because it was on a DVD with Moon of the Wolf. It was in a bargain bin at a Walgreens near where I work. The sticker price was one dollar. It was one of those DVD's that are out there that are packaged in one of those slim jewel cases, and the DVD is double sided (a movie on both sides). Although I was surprised to see that Ray Milland starred in this movie. If you want to see a Ray Milland movie that's better, go watch Frogs. It has him and Sam Elliot.

THE SWISS CONSPIRACY was advertised as "the ultimate blackmail thriller", and while it's too far from reaching top-notch status, it is a stylish piece of 70s intrigue from across the Atlantic. A B-movie running on overdrive is what you may hardly ever believe, but there is some attention worth grabbing on the action parts that flow at a solid pace, and can provide a few nifty surprises. Just try not to expect plenty of spectacular stunts from a flick like this, although the exotic sports cars are worth a look. If there are certain B-movie stars you can recognize, look for John Saxon in a convincing, but unfortunately brief role of a crook, plus international film starlets Senta Berger and Elke Sommer. And don't forget our major eye David Janssen, who's trying to get things straight with lovely Berger on his wing. A pretty good minor crime classic that delivers a slightly different beat of an ending.

As a devotee of movies about intrigues, conspiracies and white-collar crimes that turn ugly, I was predisposed to like any story set in the glamorous-but-devious world of Swiss banking. And I like John Saxon.

But with very bad sound, clumsy credits, actors not interacting, corny music, a confusing plot (though I guessed the bad guy right away), a subplot more about middle-aged lust than romance, literal-minded camera work and a script so full of cliches there was no room for anything original, I had to give it a 3.

If you like skiing see "On Her Majesty's Secret Service". If you like bank fraud see "Shawshank Redemption". If you like conspiracies, see "Parallax View". If you like untrustworthy older people having sex, see the remake of "The Thomas Crown Affair". And if you want to see all of these in one movie, this is not the one.

I think the makers of this film were trying to make some sort of cross between the plot of a Bond movie and the style of "The French Connection". If you like car chases, you should see it.

"The French Connection", I mean.

Swiss Conspiracy opens with a screen of text, explaining that Switzerland has always been the perfect place for people to stash their money, acquired legally or not. How ironic it is that as I am watching this in July 2008, the State Department in Washington DC is formally requesting that the larger Swiss banks provide banking records to the IRS and to the Dept of Homeland Security here in the US. Swiss Conspiracy stars David Janssen, probably best known as the "Fugitive" and "Harry O" and Ray Milland ( Lost Weekend, and all those black & white movies from the 1930s and 1940s). Costars John Ireland, Elke Sommer, John Saxon, and a whole mess of bit parts. Janssen, as David Christopher, must figure out to keep the bank's clients from having their names and secrets exposed by a blackmailer. Has some cussing and violence, including a shoot- em- up right from the beginning scenes. No real big surprises in this one, but its an interesting What-If ... especially now that the U.S. is cracking down on its citizens moving money overseas. An hour and a half well spent. and some interesting photography of Switzerland to boot. Could have done without the silly "Sloop John B" euro re-make, which plays while Christopher is waiting for Denise to get dressed.

The thing that attracted me to this movie was its title. I love Europe and have long had a fascination with Switzerland both for its beauty and its fierce, unwaivering independence and neutrality. Plus, I'm into women from the German speaking countries and this movie stars two beautiful ones, Elke Sommer and Senta Berger! So for $1.99, it was an automatic buy for me! So what if I wasn't clear about the plot?! To start off, the movie gets my award for the most attention grabbing intro that I've ever seen. A waiter in a fancy restaurant wheels a cart up to a table, pulls a gun out of his pants and shoots the customer - all in the first 30 seconds.

We later find out that the man killed in that scene was crooked arms deealer Georg Rasher of Vienna (the actor who plays him is uncredited) - one of five holders of secret accounts at a Swiss bank who recently received a blackmail notice that threatens to expose the account unless 1,000,000 Swiss francs are paid. In addition, the bank is told to pay 10,000,000 francs to keep the accounts secret. The total of 15,000,000 francs demanded is said to be the equivalent of about $6,000,000.

To investigate, the bank hires David Christopher (played by David Janssen), a former U.S. Department of Justice official who now resides in Geneva. In the course of his investigation, Christopher talks to the four living blackmailees - lovely Zürich resident Denise Abbott (Berger), who becomes his obligatory love interest, Texas businessman Dwight McGowan (John Ireland), Chicago crook Robert Hayes (John Saxon) and Dutchman Andre Kosta (Curt Lowens). It turns out that Christopher and Hayes already have a negative history with each other, which isn't surprising, as volatile and obnoxious as Hayes is.

Like many good mysteries, this movie gives us several suspects to choose from including Rita Jensen (Sommer), the mistress of the bank's vice president, Franz Benninger (Anton Diffring), and two men who are out to kill Hayes and Christopher, Korsak (Arthur Brauss) and Sando (David Hess).

Two other characters who add a lot to the movie are the bank's worried president, Johann Hurtil (Ray Milland) and Captain Hans Frey (Inigo Gallo) of the Swiss Federal Police, who is suspicious of Christopher and has several sarcastic run ins with him.

Eventually, the bank decides to cave in and pay the blackmailer. But what action movie hero would go for that?! Christopher, of course, attempts to foil the plot, which leads to a dramatic climax that provides a couple of surprising twists.

Some people complain that this movie is confusing. And I understand their point. To understand it fully, you have to pay very close attention to it from start to finish. It's very cleverly written and if you miss even a minute or two, you'll probably miss something important.

The two cuts of the movie that I've seen are relatively short - 1:20:57 and 1:23:22) - but not a single second is wasted. The movie has so much intrigue from so many sources that there's no room for boredom. There's lots of suspense, the action scenes are exciting and heightened by Klaus Doldiner's progressive jazz-funk music, the scenery (I'm fairly certain that it was filmed entirely in Switzerland) is fantastic and the combination of European and American actors give it a strong international feel.

Judging the movie by itself, I consider "The Swiss Conspiracy" to be a great movie. But its technical quality leaves a significant amount to be desired. Visually, it's decent, but the sound wavers from solid to weak, sometimes in the same scene. At several points, the dialogue is so soft that it's hard to decipher - so much so that I rewound, turned up the volume very loudly and sometimes still couldn't pick out the words.

Also, I warn you that on the cheapie DVD that I have, some of the editing is embarrassingly sloppy. And the transfer apparently comes not from an original source but rather a TV company as the obscenities are silenced! There is a free version available for download at http://www.publicdomaintorrents.com. It apparently is the theatrical version of the movie or at least closer to it than the cheapie DVD version is. The movie has apparently become public domain. I don't know how it reached that status but it's very sad that it did.

In conclusion, "The Swiss Conspiracy" is a great mystery thriller that could have been something spectacular with a big budget. Still, it is my favorite obscure movie of all time. I love the movie so much that I have a web page for it at http://www.geocities.com/theswissconspiracy and an e-mail discussion list for it at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theswissconspiracy.

Only the movie's technical deficiencies prevent it from getting a perfect 10. As it is, I rate it 9/10.