Folies Danoises

These vintage Zodiac Sign titled Danish porn features have a peculiar charm about them, but that can't hide the fact of dumb, filler entertainment on this Gemini edition. Yes, the silly story line revolves around twins.

I vaguely recall back in the day, notably in the case of such movies I attended like Bedroom Mazurka and Without a Stitch (latter quite memorably shown at a local Northern Ohio drive-in theater with English subtitles, pretty rare) that Danish porn both softcore and hardcore seemed to inhabit an entirely different universe than our domestic variety. Largely due to local mores, what was considered a "family film" in Scandinavia would be deemed pornographic or "Adult" here in the States.

Such is the case, as in between laborious slapstick running around and dumb gags, plus endless female toplessness and nudity for eye candy in the '30s set story, there are the briefest of XXX content in the form of blow-jobs or intercourse, often directed (with speeded-up footage a la "A Clockwork Orange"'s famous William Tell Overture sex scene) for comic effect. Simply not enough porn content to satisfy an Adult Cinema fan then or now.

Ole Soltoft is up to his usual tricks playing the lead role of a record label executive out to sign a blonde singer, but kidnapped and replaced by a substitute, his twin brother. The girls are pretty though none of them a knockout and the sex scenes are not sexy. Director Werner Hedmann lingers a couple of times on close-up blow jobs featuring very long cocks, but otherwise is skimpy on the old in & out.

Most peculiar here is the inclusion of a relatively lavish production number (dance routine) right out of a Technicolor Hollywood musical, plus the attractive costumes, neither of which is usual or even appreciated in the porn world. Perhaps the same Kool Aid drunk in Chatsworth back in the days of "Blonde Ambition" and other Adult would- be epics was also being served in rotten old Denmark.

There's really nothing like the "Tegn" films. Not even the Bavarian comedies. For one thing, they're hardcore. But mostly they're alike. A whole lotta slapstick and some stunning and very talented actresses not afraid to show their bodies and look like they're enjoying sex. Cia Lowgren is gorgeous here, even tho Ole puts the song over better and the strip poker scene is ridiculous. Eva Weinreich, too, in a quite different way. Anne Bei Warburg does yet another alluring scene with her husband. And Louise Frevert is given ample room to display her ample charms and irrepressible overbite. She is also an incredible dancer. I believe Barbi Benton can be spotted (easily, since the camera zooms in on her) shaving her legs alongside Kate Mundt in the women's locker room.. There's plenty of nonsense, too, for example when Hans Jorgensen (I think) interrupts repeatedly with his inventions - long-playing vinyl records, stereo and television, etc - and is summarily ejected from the office, And a lot of fake mustaches and a beautifully restored Packard convertible. They don't make 'em like this anymore.

If the sound of "Hardcore Benny Hill Style antics, in Danish" doesn't appeal to you, you'd find this movie an hour and a half of wince and cringe. If, on the other hand, that tickles your fancy, then this will be the greatest thing your little eyes have ever beheld, because that's exactly what's going on here.