- Kronos: What he doesn't know about vampirism wouldn't fill a flea's codpiece.
- Marcus: I've been saving a bottle of wine for a rainy day.
- Grost: [looking up at clear sky] It's pouring.
- [an old folk rhyme about vampire detection]
- Captain Kronos: If a vampire should bestrode / Close to the grave of a dead toad / Then the vampire life shall give / And suddenly, the toad shall live.
- Hieronymous Grost: It is commonly supposed that a vampire attacks in only one way - by biting the neck and draining the victim of blood.
- Marcus: But that's true!
- Hieronymous Grost: The girls you spoke of - they were not drained of blood but of youth, of life itself. You see, doctor, there are as many species of vampire as there are beasts of prey. Their methods and their motive for attack can vary in a hundred different ways.
- Captain Kronos: As can the methods of their destruction!
- [Kronos's friend Grost, who is a hunchback, has just been mocked for this by Kerro, the village ruffian, and his two companions]
- Kronos: To make sport of a physical affliction is both impolite and cruel. After all, I wouldn't dream of calling you
- [to the man on Kerro's right]
- Kronos: Rat Face, or
- [to the man on Kerro's left]
- Kronos: Fatty, or
- [to Kerro himself]
- Kronos: Big Mouth!
- Carla: Beauty fades eventually, but a kind soul remains forever.
- Grost: I suspect mesmerism in this.
- Marcus: Mesmerism?
- Grost: Hypnotism. The subjugation of the mind.
- Marcus: You don't believe in that nonsense, do you? Well, it is highly improbable.
- Grost: What could be more improbable than God? But I believe in Him.
- Kronos: I suppose you'll be moving on now?
- Carla: No. I'm staying.
- [suggestively]
- Carla: If you'll have me...?
- Grost: Time for us to start work - do you want to come along?
- Carla: What work?
- Grost: Oh, didn't I mention it? We are vampire hunters, professional vampire hunters.
- Kerro: [making sport of Grost] Hey you... humpback! How do you sleep at night. On your belly, or in a hammock?
- Fatty: Or do you dig a hole in the ground and put your hump in it!
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