- Miles Monroe: Do I believe in God? I'm what you would call a teleological, existential atheist. I believe that there's an intelligence to the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.
- Miles Monroe: I haven't seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian. If I'd been going all this time, I'd probably almost be cured by now.
- Dr. Tryon: [Dr. Tryon shows Miles a videotape of Howard Cosell] At first, we didn't know exactly what this was, but we've developed a theory. We feel that when citizens in your society were guilty of a crime against the state, they were forced to watch this.
- Miles Monroe: Yes. That's exactly what it was.
- Miles Monroe: When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies." She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a great dane.
- Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called "wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk."
- Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.
- Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or... hot fudge?
- Dr. Aragon: Those were thought to be unhealthy... precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.
- Dr. Melik: Incredible.
- [last lines]
- Luna Schlosser: Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh?
- Miles Monroe: Right.
- Luna Schlosser: So then, what do you believe in?
- Miles Monroe: Sex and death - two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous.
- Miles Monroe: I'm not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers.
- Miles Monroe: Where am I anyhow, I mean, what happened to everybody, where are all my friends?
- Dr. Aragon: You must understand that everyone you knew in the past has been dead nearly two hundred years.
- Miles Monroe: But they all ate organic rice!
- Miles Monroe: [Miles gets to look at some pictures to identify the people on them] This was Josef Stalin. He was a communist, I was not too crazy about him, had a bad moustache, lot of bad habits. This is Bela Lugosi. he was, he was the mayor of New York City for a while, you can see what it did to him there, you know. This is, uhm, this is, uh, Charles DeGaulle, he, he was a very famous French chef, had his own television show, showed you how to make souffles and omelets and everything. This is Scott Fitzgerald over here. A very romantic writer. Big with English majors, college girls, you know, nymphomaniacs. Very well, eh - This is Chiang Kai-Shek, who I was not too crazy about either. This is Billy Graham. He was very big in the religion business, you know. He knew God personally. Got him his complete wardrobe to go out on double dates together. It was a very big thing. They were romantically linked for awhile. This is some girls burning a brassiere. You notice it's a very small fire. This I don't know what that is. It's a photograph of Norman Mailer. He was a very great writer. He donated his ego to the Harvard Medical school for study. And this - this I can tell you - this is a centerfold from a magazine they used to call Playboy. Which - um - these girls didn't exist in actual life, you know. They were rubberized. You had to blow them up and then you'd fasten it and then you could spread ointment on them or anything else you - I'll just take this, you know, and study it later and give you a full report on it.
- Luna Schlosser: "Regis - register commies, not guns." What's that mean?
- Miles Monroe: What?
- Luna Schlosser: "Register commies, not guns."
- Miles Monroe: Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. There was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
- Miles Monroe: I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
- Miles Monroe: [Commenting about his new, robotic dog; Rags] Is he housebroken, or is he going to leave batteries all over the floor?
- Luna Schlosser: Do you want to perform sex with me?
- Miles Monroe: Perform sex? Uh, uh, I don't think I'm up to a performance, but I'll rehearse with you, if you like.
- Luna Schlosser: Okay. I just thought you might want to; they have a machine here.
- Miles Monroe: Machine? I'm not getting into that thing. I, I'm strictly a hand operator; you know, I, I... I don't like anything with moving parts that are not my own.
- Luna Schlosser: Sex is different today. You see, we don't have any problems. Everybody's frigid.
- Miles Monroe: Oh, that's incredible. So are the men are impotent?
- Luna Schlosser: Yeah, most of them, except for the ones whose ancestors are Italian.
- Miles Monroe: Alright, I knew there was something in that pasta.
- Miles Monroe: I'm always joking, you should know that about me; it's a defense mechanism.
- Miles Monroe: [Miles holds a gun to a disembodied nose] Don't take another step or the president gets it between the eyes.
- Miles Monroe: [Far off, something howls] What's that? Are there strange futuristic creatures out here that I don't know about? Like something with the body of a crab and the head of a Social Worker?
- Luna Schlosser: Men go crazy over for me. I'm great physically. I got a Ph.D. in oral sex.
- Miles Monroe: Yeah, they make you take any Spanish with that?
- Luna Schlosser: What?
- Miles Monroe: Well, I don't know. I was an English major, myself. You know, Chaucer, Pope, I minored in foreplay. It's a two credit course at NYU.
- Miles: You're a sucker. What you didn't realize is that you're dealing with one of the greatest minds you've ever seen.
- Luna: Yeah, and his isn't so bad either!
- Miles Monroe: We're here to see the nose. I hear it was running.
- Miles Monroe: This stuff tastes awful. I could make a fortune selling it in my health food store.
- Miles Monroe: What kind of government you guys got here? This is worse than California!
- Miles Monroe: I don't believe in science. I'm - you know, science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
- Miles Monroe: Look, you gotta be kidding. I wanna go back to sleep! If I don't get at least 600 years, I'm grouchy all day.
- Luna Schlosser: Please! I wanna go home! I'm getting a headache! I'm hungry! I haven't had a stress pill! I haven't had a bath in seven hours! I'm telling you, I'm not accustomed to this. I need my orb! I want to relax. Look at me! Look at me. I'm shaking!
- Miles Monroe: Gee, you know you'd be great to take on a camping trip.
- Luna: Miles, I wrote a song about the revolution.
- Miles Monroe: There's not going to be any revolution, unless we stop the Aries Project.
- Luna: Don't you worry about that; you just relax. Now, listen:
- [Plays guitar and sings]
- Luna: Rebels are we! Born to be free! Just like the fish in the sea!
- [Note: the rebels in Bananas, which Woody Allen had made two years earlier, sing the same song]
- Luna Schlosser: Miles, Erno's going to lead the revolution and head the new government.
- Miles Monroe: Look, don't you understand? In six months we'll be stealing Erno's nose. Political solutions don't work. I told you that. It doesn't matter who's up there. They're all terrible.
- Miles Monroe: You remind me of Lisa Sorenson
- Luna Schlosser: Who?
- Miles Monroe: An old girlfriend from the village. A Trotskyite, who became a Jesus freak, and was arrested for selling pornographic connect-the-dot books.
- Luna Schlosser: You have to give yourself up! They won't hurt you. They'll re-structure your brain.
- Miles Monroe: Hey, nobody touches my brain; they may drop it. Then I'll talk like Mr. Lepidus who got hit by lightning.
- Dr. Orva: Here, smoke this. And be sure you get the smoke deep down into your lungs.
- Miles Monroe: I don't smoke!
- Dr. Orva: It's tobacco! It's one of the healthiest things for your body.
- Miles Monroe: I'm a clarinet player in 1973, I go into the hospital for a lousy operation, I wake up 200 years later and I'm Flash Gordon!
- Dr. Melik: Why, they could torture you for months. What could you tell them?
- Miles: Only my name, rank, serial number... and YOUR name.
- Luna Schlosser: [Luna's house party. Herald's arrived, bearing a gift; a Keane-like painting, of some big, doe-eyed, little girl, peering out at the viewer, from behind a pole, and is presenting it to Luna] Herald, it's wonderful! Oh, you shouldn't have, really!
- Herald Cohen: [Herald's proudly smiling, next to this videos painting] Ijust thought you'd like it!
- Luna Schlosser: [Luna's staring at it, a very long cigarette holder in one hand, and a look of intenseness is on her face, as she visually studies the painting] Oh, it's keen! It-it's pure keen! No
- [spreads her hand, as if overcome with a revelation]
- Luna Schlosser: No, it's greater than keen...
- [dramatic pause]
- Luna Schlosser: it's 'Cugat'!
- Miles Monroe: I bought Polaroid at seven, it's probably up millions by now!
- Luna Schlosser: Herald, I wrote a new poem today.
- Herald Cohen: You didn't?
- Luna Schlosser: Yes, I did: A little boy caught a butterfly, And said to himself, I must try, To understand my life, And help others, Not just mothers, And fathers, But friends, Strangers too, With eyes of blue, And lips full red and round, But the butterfly didn't make a sound, For he had turned into a caterpillar, By and by.
- Herald Cohen: It's deep! You're so obviously influenced by McKuen!
- Luna Schlosser: Oh, Herald, do you really like it?
- Herald Cohen: Only one thing, they change from caterpillars *into* butterflies. Not the other way.
- Luna Schlosser: They do? They do? Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! I always get that wrong!
- Miles Monroe: I'm a nice person. I have healthy life drives. I'm as good as gold. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person.
- Luna Schlosser: You're the alien.
- Miles Monroe: Yes. Yes.
- Miles Monroe: My God! I beat a man insensible with a strawberry!
- Miles Monroe: You're living in a Police State! Your Government is Evil!
- Miles Monroe: I like to be watched while I clone. The more the merrier, you know. Never, never - never clone alone.
- Dr. Orva: You have no number. You can be used to penetrate.
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