Fais vite, monseigneur revient!

If your idea of slapstick comedy is a husband diving on top of his wife forgetting that he put a chastity belt on her before he went off to war, then this is just what you are looking for.

Olimpio (Pippo Franco) is a bumbling fool who has a gorgeous wife Fiamma (Karin Schubert), who has been cheating with everyone in town while he was away, despite her chastity belt. Nature will find a way.

When he returns, he sees Ubalda (Edwige Fenech) and spends his time and energy trying to bed her, despite a lurking jealous husband (Umberto D'Orsi).

There is plenty of sex jokes along with the slapstick, and, as you might imagine, plenty of luscious flesh on display.

A sex-starved knight returns from war and gets in a feud with the local miller, which both men try to resolve by attempting to seduce the other's wife (played respectively by Edwige Fenech and Karin Schubert). They are stopped, partly by a pair of locked steel chastity belts, but mostly by their own stupidity, as these contraptions certainly don't prevent practically every other man in town--the local stud, the lecherous priest, the horny doctor, and the crafty locksmith--from cuckolding them both repeatedly.

This period sex comedy was no doubt inspired partly by the German sex comedies lead Edwige Fenech had earlier appeared in, but mostly by "The Decameron" (probably the hit Passolini movie more than the classic Boccacio book). Owing to the "Decameron" influence, it's more pointed and satirical and thus little better than the moronic German movies--and the version I saw had the benefit of having subtitles instead of being clumsily dubbed into English by the usual gang of idiots. Still it's pretty tame. There is a lot of nudity, but it's all above the waist (fortunately, Fenech, Schubert, and their other female co-star Gabriella Giorgelli were all pretty impressive in that department).

Still it's a pretty slight movie--the most interesting thing about is the extras on the new DVD: There is a bizarre and trippy psychedelic montage of all Fenech's boob-bouncing nude scenes from the movie (which might save the weasel-milkers out there some time). There's some Italian trailers from Fenech's various "Sexy Schoolteacher" movies (which look even dumber than this one). And there is a strange excerpt from a longer interview with the still gorgeous Fenech where she gushes over Quentin Tarantino, which is not only ironic but kind of irrelevant here since this is probably the one genre of films she appeared in that ole Q.T. has not ripped off yet. (Give him time though). This is definitely worth a look for Edwige Fenech stalkers and Bocaccio completists, but for anyone else, well. . .

Edwige Fenech is popularly known as the "Queen of Giallo," and watching her in the seven wonderful gialli DVDs available here in the U.S. (well, six really, plus one crime drama--1973's "Secrets of a Call Girl") was the high point of my film viewing in 2006. What a happy day for me, then, when I heard that the fine folks at No Shame had recently released two more Edwige titles. Ms. Fenech is also, astonishingly, the so-called "Queen of Italian Sex Comedies," and "Ubalda, All Naked and Warm" (1972) amply demonstrates why. She is both wickedly funny and (need it even be said?) amazingly beautiful in this film, and turns what is in essence a silly medieval sex farce into something truly special. The story here centers around a doofus knight named Olimpio (picture a melding of Jerry Lewis and Roberto Benigni!) who returns to his village (the aptly named Watch-the-Hole) after six months of war and is reunited with his hotty blonde wife, who's been fooling around despite being "locked" in a chastity belt. Olimpio is soon smitten by the similarly encumbered wife of his enemy, the miller, played by our Edwige. Both men devise all sorts of amusing schemes to get the other's wife out of her "iron panties," and much of the antics that ensue, despite the silliness, are pretty funny. But that Edwige...OMG! Whether running seminaked (and warm) through a sunlit field, stripping for an aged doctor or rolling around with any number of cuckolders, this spectacular Eurobabe does not disappoint. At one point in the film she is referred to as "perfection of perfections," and not too many men, I have a feeling, would care to disagree. The fine-looking DVD that I just watched also features many Edwige extras; I could watch the three-minute one entitled "Edwige's Groovy Sexadelic Reel" every day for the rest of my life. She's just that scrumptious.

This very old-fashioned slapstick comedy is like a feature-length Benny Hill skit -- full of grotesques, lame pratfalls, and gorgeous, teasing, undraped females. Its singular claim to fame is the presence of two top Eurotrash starlets in featured roles, both in their prime and both displaying their assets throughout the picture, including one lengthy slow-motion run through the fields for Edwige. As usual, Fenech shows lots of personality and humour, while Shubert's icy appeal was definitely more suited to her later hardcore roles. The denouement, in which the boys get their just deserts, is actually quite funny. There's really no need for dubbing or subtitles on this one.

Even though this sort of thing is cheesy and incredibly silly - it does have to be said that Italians have a great sense of humour, and certainly know how to put together a good sex comedy! Naturally, my main reason for seeing this film was the presence of the stunningly beautiful Edwige Fenech, and even though we never get to see her completely naked; the lovely miss Fenech never disappoints, and certainly makes an imposing presence on the film once she appears. It would appear that director Mariano Laurenti knew what the film's main selling point is, and as such makes the audience wait almost half an hour before Fenech finally appears, but she's always worth the wait. The plot focuses on two feuding neighbours; Olimpio, a knight and Oderisi, a miller. Both have beautiful wives, and both have opted to keep them under lock and key with a chastity belt. However, when going to see Oderisi one day, Olimpio sees his wife, Lady Ubalda, for the first time and decides he will do his utmost to have her. However, upon learning of this; Oderisi decides to take revenge.

The film is set in the past (it's not really clear when), and this provides one of the film's biggest jokes. The sets and the costumes look like they cost a fistful of lire to put together and it are clear that nobody really cared much about the setting. The jokes are mostly very childish and revolve around sex, although there's also a lot of slapstick humour and various other gags to keep things going. Edwige Fenech is reunited with her Giovannona co-star Pippo Franco who, despite being somewhat annoying, is actually really funny and provides a decent lead man role. The other lady is Karin Schubert, who's not as beautiful as Edwige, but provides good support along with Umberto D'Orsi. The film is not exactly a masterpiece of plotting, but it flows well at least and never dries up to the extent of becoming boring. The music is amusing also and certainly fits the style of the film. Sex comedies aren't my favourite type of Italian movie, but the handful that I've seen have been really good and Ubalda more than lived up to my expectations. Definitely worth seeing!