Swim Team

Oh, MAN! I had forgotten that they made movies this bad in the 70's. Retarded plot. Retarded acting. Monumentally stupid love interests. Plus, some of the lamest attempts at humor I've ever seen. I lost count after about 50 or so of the number of scenes in which some dufus falling into water was supposed to get laughs. Seriously, I'm not kidding when I say that the level of sophistication of the comedy in this film insults 5-year-old's. Combine all this with a soundtrack to vomit to and, please, won't some nice shark out there eat all these twits?

In the late 1970's I attended "The Film Actor's Academy" in Orinda, CA. The owner of the company and his wife managed to get actress Shirley Jones to endorse the company. They actually gave me a "screen test" to see if I was WORTHY of attending. The classes were surprisingly interesting and helpful. At the end of the course there was a mock Academy Awards-type ceremony. I won for best Actor in my category. The kicker of my experience was when I got to audition for "Swim Team" which was directed by, none other than, the owner himself. My audition was held at a swimming pool (I don't remember the location.) There were tons of other kids there from a local high school swim team auditioning. One of them was even nice enough to give me a crash course (verbally) in diving. After my audition all I was able to recall was standing on the diving block and eventually getting out of the water. The swim across the pool was, at the time, a complete blur. Somehow I managed to make the swim team for the film. The entire day was spent frolicking around the pool in my brown Speedos. When I finally saw the film (years later a friend was able to find a copy at his local video store and surprised me with it) I was just a blip in one scene. The rest of the movie was just more of the same. Young people frolicking and doing ridiculous things. The film was very typical of other films of that time.

I was enrolled in a film actors academy in Orinda California run by the director of Swim Team and his wife. After auditioning for several parts, I was given a non-speaking role as a guy sitting in a Jeep with several other extras drinking beer. This happens in a scene where the Stephen Furst (Flounder) character buys some beer at a store (it was filmed in a shopping center next to Rossmoor in Walnut Creek, CA). I'm just a blip in the film; the camera dollies past a row of parked cars where everyone is partying. The scene includes James Daughton in a van making lewd comments to passing girls, holding up a sign that says "Wanna Do It?" This experience was fun for a while and I did get to spend some time sitting with Stephen Furst between takes--he's a very polite and gracious man--but we sat in that Jeep for most of the night holding the same warm beer (I believe it was Coors) as they did take after take. I sort of knew this story was a rip-off of several equally bad movies and later found out that if you were in the director's circle of friends and relatives, you got big screen time and some lines.

Why not call SWIM TEAM an exploitation comedy for the entire family! It's just a little on the raunchy side, and it doesn't offend to watch a bunch of wacked-out teenagers going wild in bikinis. "Flounder" from ANIMAL HOUSE alarmingly helped this flat, shallow film that doesn't stay afloat. This one deteriorates and gasps for breath every minute that passes by. You would be better off watching WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS than looking at the boring, repetitive swim meet footage used over halfway through the movie. Could have been a lot better for a movie aimed at the PORKY'S crowd on a premature level. Trust me, you won't survive underwater very long!

A fun movie about California age group swimmers,starring Flounder and Marmalard of ANIMAL HOUSE fame.Buster Crabbe makes a memorable cameo as "Rock Sands",the father of a young swimmer.A rival coach named Ouchmouski(Mr.Ouch) is hilarious as a foil.All in all,a good way to waste a little time.