Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women

As I was watching Mysterious Island Of Beautiful Women I thought at first these girls might have been a part of Bob Hope's USO tour that got lost in the Pacific. Far from that these women who all look like they could get guaranteed employment as Las Vegas showgirls, but they are war orphans from Vietnam whose plane crashed in the Pacific. They were spirited away from the war by a Catholic priest. What happened to her is for you watch the film for if you want.

Anyway some headhunters every now and then visit the island for a little something something from the women. It gives this group of Amazons a bad attitude for the male species.

Which is carried over when an oil company plane gets lost and has to make a forced landing. Some of the men are Clint Walker, Peter Lawford, Steven Keats and Sandy McPeak. The women are led by Jamie Lyn Bauer who has the worst attitude of all and some of her group is Rosalind Chao, Jamie Kennedy, and Kathryn Davis.

No doubt the women are beautiful, most of the men are dogs and the headhunters are just doing their thing and counting themselves lucky they have the equivalent of a bordello on this island when they feel the need.

The guy who makes out best in this Michael McGreevey who was being airlifted out to a hospital in Guam. He plays his scenes with a bandage over his eyes, the better not to see what he's involved with.

Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women is an utterly predictable deserted island story with a number of television movie-of-the-week types and Hollywood has-beens. The plot: A group of young Catholic school girls are evacuated during the Indo-China War. Their plane crashes on an island and the girls are left to fend for themselves. Fifteen or so years later, a plane carrying a group of men is forced to land on the island. At first the girls, now women, are leery of the men. But the women soon realize that the men and their guns may be able to help them defeat the headhunters who regularly visit the island.

Everything about this television movie is telegraphed from a mile away. The women's reaction to the men - predictable. The men's reaction to the wild women - predictable. The fact that the women's leader, Lizabeth, is a nut-case - predictable. The fact that the women's spiritual leader, Sister Teresa, is actually dead - predictable. The narrow escape at the end from the headhunters - predictable. There's not one surprising moment in the entire 90+ minute runtime. I was able to make coffee, do a load of laundry, and play with my son as I watched the movie and I didn't miss a thing.

The ending of the film is a real letdown. Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women builds toward a promised showdown between the stranded men and the "beautiful women" with the headhunters, but it never materializes. Instead, everyone hops on the plane and takes off. What a cop-out!

Blown off course during a storm, a plane-load of big, hairy men (including Clint "Killdozer" Walker, and Peter Lawford) lands on the MYSTERIOUS ISLAND OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (including: Jayne Kennedy, Rosalind Chao, and Deborah Shelton!).

Said females are a semi-savage group of supermodel cultists, led by the goggle-eyed zealot, Lizabeth (Jaime Lyn Bauer). What terrible secret are they hiding? Why do they fear males so much? Who, on this uncharted island, keeps their hair and makeup looking perfect?

MIOBW is a blissfully absurd, made-for-TV movie from a time when such productions seemed "edgy". Harmless and utterly enjoyable from beginning to end...

In an attempt to escape revolutionary troops during the war in French Indo-China, a Catholic nun and a small number of young female children board a plane in an attempt to escape to safety. Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean the airplane flies into a severe thunderstorm and crash lands on a deserted tropical island. Now, 25 years later, an amphibious airplane with a handful of men also encounters a severe thunderstorm which destroys most of its electrical equipment. So, in order to get their bearings the captain decides to land on what just happens to be the same tropical island. As they search the island the men discover a small group of women whose only knowledge of men comes from the headhunters who visit their island to rape and kill. Because these new men seem different the women are conflicted over what action to take. Anyway, so much for the basic plot. While the movie had plenty of talent and potential the fact is that except for Jamie Lynn Bauer (as "Lizabeth"), Rosalind Chao ("Flower") and Kathryn Davis ("Snow"), none of the other actors or actresses were allowed to demonstrate their abilities in any meaningful way. Clint Walker, for example, was terribly miscast as a disgruntled man with an attitude named "Wendell". Likewise, Deborah Shelton (as "Bambi") and Jayne Kennedy ("Chocolate") hardly had any lines at all. The result was a severe waste of talent. Not that it really mattered as the script was very weak and the storyline itself was extremely implausible. That said, even though the scenery was beautiful and the women were all quite attractive, the movie itself could have used significant improvement. Below average.

And yet two other very good made for TV films from that same year of 1979 - "Like Ordinary People" and "Murder By Natural Causes" seem to be lost to the ages.

CBS TV movie thriller from director Joseph Pevney. A planeload of oil company men, including Steven Keats, Clint Walker, Peter Lawford, and Guich Koock, is forced to land on an unknown Pacific island, where they discover a multi-ethnic tribe of beautiful woman living in the jungle. The two groups slowly start to interact, and Keats begins to learn who they are and how they got there, while a tribe of "head-choppers" from a nearby island sporadically attacks them all.

Featuring standard TV-movie production values of the time, this is really just an excuse to show a lot of pretty women in skimpy outfits, while aging male stars get to enjoy a tropical vacation while filming as well as acting with said ladies. The biggest surprise by the end of this one was just how little had actually occurred during its running time. Shot in Hawaii.