Haunted

"Haunted" is a crappy, low budget film that, sadly, has the distinction of starring Aldo Ray and VIrginia Mayo--two decent Hollywood stars of the 1950s that were apparently down on their luck and needed work. It's a real shame, as no actors could have made this lousy film watchable.

The story begins with a bizarro 'execution'. A convicted Native American, Abinaki, is stripped naked and made to ride a rorse into the desert to die. It seems like an incredibly uncertain AND gratuitous way to kill her!

The film then jumps to a dying desert town in the present. Instead of showing it in the first scene, one of the characters gives an exposition where he explains that the Indian lady was accused by an evil priest...and she vowed revenge on him and everyone else associated with her death. Additionally, a mentally ill blind woman (Mayo) goes on and on about the death lady....and it's rather embarrassing to watch. Eventually (and it takes a LONG time), bad things start happening...all thanks to a vengeful Abinaki.

This movie had a very low budget and many of the supporting actors didn't seem like actors at all. Their delivery was terrible....though the dialog they were given was awful as well...often coming off as bombastic and self-important. The songs are generally bad as well...with some hilariously bad lyrics.

So is it worth seeing? For most of you, NO!! But, if you like seeing actors committing career suicide as Ray and Mayo do in this one, it's worth a look.

I worked as a wrangler during the old west parts of this production wrangling up to four horses. Aldo Ray was difficult as he was always drunk and production was always waiting for him to show up. The western scenes were filmed at the old Apacheland Movie Studio east of Apache Junction Arizona. Working the set I felt like a high school drama class could have done a better job.

This film wastes absolutely no time showing titty, as a young Native American girl convicted of gold thievery is stripped and tied to a horse, sent forth into the desert to die alone. Said nubile was innocent, and vows her revenge.

100 years have passed, and the old mining town is now a decrepit and unutilized movie ranch. Aldo Ray and (blind)Virginia Mayo are among the few living there. Some guys install a telephone booth in the cemetery, and a girl in transit has car trouble and must stay there overnight. Sound interesting so far? It's not, quite frankly, and it doesn't get much better...in fact, HAUNTED barely registers as a horror film, as the supernatural foundations of the story are barely tapped. I did enjoy the music, however, the theme song especially...a highly orchestral bubblegum pop anthem that almost has the sound of a 007 theme.

Overall, a nothing little puff of a movie which wastes an able cast, and offers too little to make it recommendable. Subtract yourself.

3/10.

In 1865, a young Indian girl (Ann Michelle) is sentenced to death in a small Arizona town after a soldier (Aldo Ray) falsely accuses her of stealing. Fast forward a hundred and eleven years and the town is now a ramshackle old movie studio inhabited solely by two brothers (Jim Negele & Brad Rearden), their blind mother (Virginia Mayo) and crabby Uncle (Ray again). Trouble arrives when Brit actress Jennifer (Michelle again) shows up and she is the Indian girl reincarnated.

Is it possible to title your movie HAUNTED and not have any ghosts in it? This is more boredom beyond than anything else. It really says something for your film when the scariest thing in it is Aldo Ray's hairy back during a lovemaking scene (my eyes!!!). Director Michael DeGaetano previously made the amusingly titled UFO: TARGET EARTH and shows a real fine hand at the nonsensical. There are some bizarre subplots like Ray searching for gold and Ray being the boys real father, both of which are dropped cold. DeGaetano also sets up a senseless bit with a phone booth being installed by a graveyard next to a house so the Indian girl can call Ray from beyond the grave. Huh? Why not just have her call the home phone? The mind numbing finale has our female lead trapped in the phone booth with Ray outside, trying to find a way to get at her. He finally figures out to break the glass. Meanwhile, our hero brothers hang out at a burger joint and don't even show up to save the chick. For Aldo Ray fans (my condolences) only!

Gloriously goofy low budget shocker from writer / co-producer / director Michael De Gaetano; it's so laughable so often that one has to believe he basically had his tongue in his cheek the entire time. They also know that when the opening text / exposition makes them laugh, that can be a direct indicator of what's to come. 100 years ago, a proud young Indian woman is framed for theft and sentenced to ride her horse - topless - throughout the desert until she dies. Well, that's somewhat novel, at the least. Then a century later, a lost British lass comes upon an Arizona community where a dysfunctional family resides in a run down old movie studio - a lass who just might be the reincarnation of that long ago Indian woman. Another thing that sets this little movie up quite well right away is the uproarious, overwrought disco theme song "Indian Woman" sung by Billy Vera of "At This Moment" fame. This itself is indicative of the melodrama to come as thuggish Andrew (Aldo Ray) and blind Michelle (Virginia Mayo) reminisce. The two veterans are a total hoot what with their histrionics; Ray completely turns on the intensity and nuttiness as Andrew becomes more and more unhinged - and homicidal - as the story progresses. Meanwhile, Michelle's son Patrick (likable enough Jim Negele) becomes fond of the stranger in town, played by lovely Ann Michelle ("House of Whipcord"). She actually comes off the best, even if her character(s) are very thinly written; she's quite easy to watch (and shows off her breasts for the appreciation of all those watching); Brad Rearden ("Hi- Riders", "The Silent Scream") is stuck with an annoying role as the bratty younger brother Russell. On location filming in Arizona *is* one appreciable asset, as well as a decent music score by Lor Crane, and a pretty enjoyable final act that culminates in an intense full body burn. "Haunted" does work fairly well as an amusing bit of wild 'n' wacky nonsense; De Gaetano does have a good feel for the bizarre, starting with the perfectly silly idea of having a phone booth installed in a cemetery in order to set up one of his most surreal touches. If all of this sounds right up your alley, then by all means dive right in. The movie is absurd but not without some charms. Six out of 10.