- Ruby Sparr: Do you smoke?
- Shelby Munker: No, it makes me dizzy.
- Ruby Sparr: Me too, that's why I like it.
- Shelby Munker: Well I try to do natural things. A lot of people in my family died of cancer. Bye.
- Ruby Sparr: They... they died of cancer smoking pot?
- Rosie Bean: Oh you shouldn't put tap water on your face, hun, cause it will dry your skin out and give you wrinkles.
- Daphne Corelli: Oh, that's ok. I plan to age interestingly.
- Rosie Bean: You are cute. I wish you were my sister-in-law.
- Dr. Jules Meecham: What the hell is that?
- Reverend David Ruteledge: That's a glass of milk.
- Dr. Jules Meecham: You're kidding?
- Reverend David Ruteledge: Dr. Meecham as a physician you should know the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
- Dr. Jules Meecham: You mean you don't drink?
- Reverend David Ruteledge: No.
- Dr. Jules Meecham: In other words, when you get up in the morning that's as good as you're gonna feel all day.
- Ingrid Hellstrom: [High on the pills given to her by Dr. Meachum] Death is a horseman. Death is a thief in the night. Death is a four letter word.
- [last lines]
- Rita Billingsley: You know weddings are the happiest events I could possibly dream of and yet some how when they're over it's always so sad.
- Rosie Bean: Yea, I know what you mean.
- Rita Billingsley: You must have had a beautiful wedding. Did you?
- Rosie Bean: Oh yea, I had a great weddin'. Umm, it wasn't anything like this. We were real poor but it was beautiful and my husband Russell looked so handsome. You know all the girls were after him, but he picked me to marry. Yea I think that was the happiest day of my life. But you're right, when it's over it gets real sad.
- Dino Sloan Corelli: [offering a glass to Lemay] Want some champagne?
- Hughie Brenner: Excuse me.
- [exits restroom]
- Capt. Reedley Roots: Thank you.
- [intercepts Lemay's champagne glass]
- Capt. Reedley Roots: Lemay, the fly.
- [exits restroom]
- Dino Sloan Corelli: He's awfully interested in your fly isn't he?
- Bunky Lemay: Yea. In fact he's interested in everybody's fly.
- Matthew Ruteledge: Uh, oh, I remember THE FLY. That was a great picture, uh, David Hedison.
- Dino Sloan Corelli: I'll see you down there.
- Bunky Lemay: Catch you later man.
- Matthew Ruteledge: An excelent science fic... sci-fi film.
- Snooks Brenner: [to his family] What's everybody standing around for? There's not a God-damned thing we can do about it! It's a hell of a wedding!
- [opening lines]
- Casey: [referring to Regina] Pret-ty woman.
- Florence Farmer: Boy look what a beautiful glaze she's got on her eyes.
- Casey: I'd call that glassy eyed.
- Florence Farmer: Hmmm.
- Tante Marge Sparr: Again. You know I've been married four times, and never thought I was gonna do it again. At least I didn't think so.
- Jim Habor: Well I've never been married.
- Tante Marge Sparr: Never?
- Jim Habor: Never. Not unless you can call being married to a lawn mower a marriage.
- Tante Marge Sparr: There's uh, there's nothing wrong with you is there?
- Jim Habor: No. There's nothing wrong with me.
- Tante Marge Sparr: Well have you ever given some real thought maybe to a, a trip to New Jersey, huh?
- Jim Habor: You have some hedges that need trimming my dear?
- Tante Marge Sparr: I got a whole lawn that needs trimming.
- Jim Habor: That sounds good.