If Ever I See You Again

The acting was so-so at best, the direction plodding and the songs sounded like an off key version of "You light up my life." In fact, I thought some of the score was a rip off of that song until learned it was written by the same guy. Perhaps the worst part was the "romantic time together" montage...we see them running, walking on the beach, riding horses on the beach (can you rent horses in LA?), eating, going to the park, etc. etc. It reminded me of a similar scene in the first "Naked Gun" only this was supposed to be serious. It came across as a movie designed to sell a soundtrack...and too often, the soundtrack won.

This movie has to be seen to be believed. It fails miserably on every level. Fortunately, Joe Brooks handled the direction, writing, and lead acting role himself, so there are fewer people to blame for it.

As a romantic lead, Joe has about as much appeal as a potted plant. His leading lady, Shelley Hack, acts as though she were posing for the picture on front of a box of All Bran. It's pretty bad when the most professional acting performance in a movie is delivered by a little girl (Danielle Brisebois).

Joe plays a jingle writer who dreams of being a serious musician, even though all of his "serious" songs still sound like extended jingles, and the classical piece he composes to show off his true talent would be better suited for a group of musical saw players instead of an orchestra. Watching his dramatic gestures as he conducts this ear-splitting opus in the recording studio, as the dazzled Shelley Hack grins at him like a stuffed loon, is one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever filmed.

Joe was obviously hoping for another big chart-topper like "You Light Up My Life", but its inexplicable success was not to be matched by the cringe-inducing dirge that is this film's theme song. I don't know who performed it, but he doesn't sing it as much as he suffers through it. He seems to be battling his way through a particularly intense bout of constipation as he strains to expel the stomach-churning lyrics. But I doubt if even Debby Boone could've made this song any more tolerable.

When I saw this movie on HBO several years ago, I just had to have it. I watch my tape every so often just to gape in wide-eyed amazement at how truly awful a movie can be. As a bad-movie lover, I hold this perversely-entertaining cinematic messterpiece in high esteem -- it's the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE of romantic movies, and truly one of the worst films ever made.

It's too bad, too, because the idea had a lot of potential. It just needed a better script, better songs, actors who could actually act and a director who knew what he was doing.

Mostly though, this movie is an exercise of ego for one Joe Brooks. He directs, he acts, he sings, he produces. Presumably, he also cast Shelley Hack, whose last name pretty much sums up the state of her acting ability, in the lead female role.

Where to start? The acting, if it can be called that, is an abomination. Shelley Hack is leaden and Joe would be lucky to be so good. He plays a jingle writer who aspires to greater things. Judging from the music, he's found his niche with jingles. It has a certain Barry Manilow light quality to it. Imagine hell being trapped in an elevator for all eternity with muzak playing Joe Brooks greatest hits, and you'll begin to get a taste for just how bad it gets.

Especially when Joe starts to sing. When Joe made "You Light Up My Life," the first decision he made was to dub Didi Cohn's voice with Debbie Boone's. Would that he showed as much sense here. Somewhere out there, cats start to howl when Joe sings.

The bottom line, watch if you must, but remember to bring a book to read. It's two hours of your life you'll never get back

I love to watch movies from the 1970s, especially romances, to check out the cheesy clothes, huge, poofy hair, bad disco music, etc. This and Moment by Moment, made the same year, win 1978's most cheesy romances of the year. Shelley Hack, who went on to replace Kate Jackson on Charlie's Angels, is beautiful but looks uncomfortable throughout. I've read she asks interviewers not to mention this film. Joe Brooks, who basically did everything in this movie (co-star, director, writer, producer, wrote and arranged the music), can't save the film either.

Still, if you love cheesy 70s movies, you'll lap this one up!

I believe I've enjoyed this movie more than any other love story that was never promoted. I wish J. Brooks would write,direct, and act in more movies. By the way, I thought the music was exceptional considering that I had never heard any of them before. This ranks as a "10" in my book.