Goin' Coconuts

Donny and Marie Osmond (playing themselves) and their tightly wound manager Sid (Herb Edelman ) are off to Hawaii for a concert, but when a stolen Jewel winds up in Marie's possession hi-jinks ensue.

Produced during the annual hiatus for Donny & Marie's variety and financed and distributed by The Osmonds, Goin' Coconuts was supposed be a test of of Donny and Marie Osmond's celebrity status by seeing if they could open and carry a feature film. A critical and commercial dud upon release, the movie has been mostly forgotten, and rightly so because it's a pathetic excuse for a movie that is ineptly directed and acted.

Despite allegedly being the focal point of the movie, Donny & Marie are often relegated to the background while we focus on an assorted of TV character actors engaging in pratfalls, double takes, or other limply played comic gags that don't raise so much as a snicker let alone a laugh. The movie is directed by veteran sitcom director Howard Morris and can't maintain comic momentum or edit scenes to give the gags any life or punch. None of the scenes involving the crooks are funny, but they are at least slightly more engaging than the Osmonds themselves. Donny and Marie have no stage presence when it comes to acting, they basically have one mode in this movie and it's wide eyed smiling niceness, while that can sometimes be used for comic effect here it isn't because more often than not Donny and Marie are blissfully unaware of most of the farcical scenes surrounding them so there's no comic friction played off their unnaturally smiley demeanor. The movie is rated PG for reasons I can't discern as I've seen G Rated Disney comedies from around the same time like No Deposit, No Return or Snowball Express that felt way edgier than this.

Goin' Coconuts is a failure. It's a failure to extend the Osmonds repertoire to feature films, it's a failure as comedy, it's even a failure as a travelogue to Hawaii because the movie has a very flat look to it that doesn't capture the state's natural beauty and is instead focuses on limp wristed attempts at comic caper cliches that are ineptly done with no drive or impact. It's just a waste of everyone's time for all concerned.

I never saw this movie, didn't know it was a movie when I bought the album back in 1978. I loved the soundtrack album, I wish they would reissue it in CD. I have a Greatest Hits album that includes On the shelf, but I also liked the other songs, specially Falling In Love (it was great), the instrumental version of May Tomorrow Be a Perfect Day, and that cover they did that went like this "Baby, now that I found you I can't let you go, I built my world around you, I need you so, baby even though you don't need me..." One day I had that song playing and my older brother said "Wow, that's a very old song!". He remembered the original; for me it was new. Later I heard the original (I don't remember the title of the tune), but I still prefer Donny & Marie's version.I really enjoyed (and still do) their music and their TV show when I was a teenager. God bless them both!

OK so I might be a tad biased in saying that I really liked this film as I am a huge Osmond fan!! But it was really funny. I enjoyed seeing Donny and Marie interact they have such amazing chemistry working as a brother and sister team. Being only 19 a lot of people think it is odd that someone my age likes The Osmonds, but The Osmonds are so incredibly talented and I really admire them, they are awesome!! Donny and Marie have amazing voices, if only all the famous singers these days could sing half as good as The Osmonds. I loved every song they sang in the movie. If anyone happens to read this checkout Donny's cd called "What I Mean't To Say", it just shows what a wonderful singer he truly is.

Jewel thieves in Hawaii are after necklace worn by visiting pop star. Imagine being outsmarted by Donny & Marie Osmond! Blandly cute semi-musical may spark fond memories for fans of the duo's TV variety show, but is otherwise an unpolished comedy of embarrassments. Aloha! *1/2 from ****

Alright...so it's a 70's nightmare by some standards, but it's Donnie and Marie! You gotta love it lookin' at it from a 21st century standpoint. This is the goofy stuff Austin Powers was built on! And to think that they got away with this brand of humor on G-rated material! Also take note of the very clever and difficult task of using 5 bumbling villains instead of the standard one or two. Again, Austin Powers owes a lot to the precedents set by a flick like this and I for one am fallin' in love again!