Fairy Tales

Well, this is a surprise. A 70s nudie retelling of fairy tales. Not quite, more a very well written and amusing concoction using various fairy tales as props and naked ladies to help the visuals. Only in the 1970s could this have been conceived, let alone so successfully been completed. The atmosphere on set must have been fantastic because everyone looks happy and plays this to the hilt. The costumes are effective (when worn) and the main old Mother Hubbard's shoe/ brothel is a great idea. Some scenes are jaw dropping - what about the stripping of snow white by seven real dwarfs, a delectable and very young looking Linnea Quigley as the virgin all are after and Sy Richardson's pimp is so convincing. Eminent and prolific producer Charles Band has to take the credit and I was particularly surprised by the professional looking orgy sex scenes, which seem to have been added (back?) for this Blu-ray release. Oh and I almost forgot, halfway through, out of a smoking cauldron steps a smoking Martha Reeves for a very effective musical number.

This 'erotic fairy tale' film rehashes similar plotlines from earlier films, most notably "Cinderella," with the premise of an impotent prince looking for a woman who can excite him. Since all of the 'good' material had been taken by earlier films, "Fairy Tales" pulls from many sources, from nursery rhymes like 'Little Bo Peep' and 'Jack and Jill,' to tales like "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" and even a cameo by "Little Red Riding Hood."

By jumping around so much, this film keeps your interest. It's fairly humorous and the T&A is harmless. Tommy Tucker's brothel-barker character is the most successful as he beckons passersby to enter 'the big shoe,' assuring that what they do there is "nobody's business but your own."

Where this film loses steam is in the penultimate song sequence, identical to the one in "Cinderella," in which the cast sings the praises of Sleeping Beauty's virtues. Whereas in "Cinderella" the song refers to Cinderella's particular sexual expertise; here Sleeping Beauty's claim to fame is that she's a virgin. And comatose to boot. The prince, King Cole, and the Frog Prince (for whom i felt most sorry in that his plight could have been halted by a simple kiss from a virgin), despite the endless parade of literary babes, all desire Sleeping Beauty because she's never had sex. This sudden assertion of moral purity seems out of place and sort of disgusting in the light of the supposed sexual freedoms of this fantasy world. It brings a strangely didactic tone to this otherwise if-it-feels-good-do-it spectacle.

I am a big fan of Scream Queen Linnea Quigley. That's why I thought it would be fun to watch her in her first film ever. Boy was I wrong! Linnea's part is so small that she barely even appears at the end.

The rest of the movie is cheesy beyond belief. There are a few scenes that made me laugh, but nothing very memorable. What's even worse, the cast seems to be the ugliest cast I've ever seen in a movie! Linnea is sexy, but everyone else is disturbingly yucky! If you are going to make such a trashy flick, at least have the decency to hire some cute actors and actresses!

If you are a Linnea fan, then fast forward to the very end. Don't waste your time otherwise!

Totally didn't expect how awesome the rendition of the tunes are, which are presented with silly props, fun nudity and some pretty great eye candy ( well, shoulders down that is)

and nudity itself is not acted in a way that is meant to stimulate. I'll say it is as titillating as a full costume cabaret.

it's very low budget, but you don't expect something like this to funded up to the yahoos., and will hold your attention better than some of the blockbusters we have at the cinemas these days

I regrettably saw this movie back to back with the German film "Grimm's Fairy Tales for Adults" and while both films are obviously "for adults", the former actually managed to capture some of the spirit of the original Grimm's Fairy Tales while this film is your typically smutty, painfully unfunny, and crassly stupid "parody" of the already highly bastardized American versions of the classic fairy tales (with a little Mother Goose thrown in for good measure). For instance, in this movie the Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe (Brenda Fogerty) is a madam, her shoe naturally is a cathouse, and there is a stereotypical 70's black pimp (Sy Richardson). "Snow White", of course, is getting it on with her seven dwarfs (for all you people out there with dwarf fetishes). "Little Bo Peep" has lost her sheep, and apparently her underwear too. Perhaps worst of all, this movie follows the unfortunate 70's trend of being an annoying musical (i.e. "Alice in Wonderland", "The First Nudie Musical") because, of course, there's a great intersection of musical fans and softcore porn fans.

But let me focus on the positive (what little there is). There is a very early if mostly wasted appearance by a young Linnaea Quigley (who gets naked natch'). Evelyn Guerrero, who had a memorable role in "Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams", has a cameo role (with full-frontal nudity) as one of the "S and M Dancers". And perhaps most memorable is Tai Bonet as "Schrenednaze" (from "Arabian Nights") doing a naked belly dance (for some reason for Mother Goose's "Old King Cole") while rubbing oil all over herself. You just don't see naked belly dancing everyday. But is any of this worth enduring the rest of this movie? Uh, no. Watch "Grimm's Fairy Tale for Adults" instead