Magnum Cop

The first half hour is so fast paced and campy you can't look away. (Crazy cartoon dubbing) But then... after that it's kinda hard to find the plot.

Joan doesn't show up for a long time. But after she does the plots becomes more clear and I personally had to stay to find out what happens.

For the most part this is for dire hard Joan fans only.

Opening with a bongo drum-driven, slow-motion shootout, MAGNUM COP gets underway.

Private investigator, Wally Spada (Maurizio Merli) is on the case of a zillionaire's missing daughter. Dressed in Junior Samples' overalls, Spada brings his reddish, blondish hair helmet, and Burt Reynolds' mustache along for the ride. Slipping out of his Hee Haw tuxedo, and into Mr. Rogers' sweater, he's ready for action!

When thugs attack, it's karate time! Spada's overwhelming, perfectly-placed blows ignite, sounding like frozen turkeys being slapped against sacks of cement!

Next, it's off to the strip club to look for clues. Therein, Wally witnesses the lovely performer, Brigitte (Joan Collins), giving forth her glorious gift to humanity. Apparently, Wally needs her help.

Fans of Ms. Collins take note: Indeed, she doth disrobe delightfully!

Oh no!

More thugs attack, pounding Wally's melon with sounds not unlike those caused by 10-lb. Salamis hitting wet pavement! This all leads to an interminable foot chase, and a sinister turn in the plot.

Have no fear! Brigitte returns, and yes, her clothing dissolves like magic before our eyes! All followers of Ms. Collins simply must see this movie before taking their last breath!

Now, back to whatshisname, and whatever it was he was supposed to be doing.

If it weren't for the long stretches of dullness, this could have been a cheeeze classic. Next time, more karate! Less wally! More Brigitte!...

It was hard for me to adjust, but I finally managed to cope with the fact that Maurizio Merli is not playing a cop in the film. He's playing a private detective who used to be a cop. After some therapy, I was able to cope with this cataclysmic change and watch the film.

Merli doesn't seem to be that great a PI either. He's totally broke and lets his sidekick Vinnie (Massimo Vanni) deal with all the debts. When trying to mooch a meal in a restaurant, Merli gets a big break - someone in Austria is looking for their daughter and it's up to Merli to track her down. This opens up a whole can of worms that leads Merli to Vienna and a Massimo Dallamano giallo-style plot involving school girls.

Merli hooks up with Gastone Moschine in Vienna and gets caught up trying to solve a different case involving the suspicious death of a minor that leads him to hang around in a car outside of school asking a young girl if she'd like to go for a ride with him. He hasn't got sinister motives though, but icy-eyed Werner Pocath might have, and where does Joan Collins fit in with all this? Don't ask me - ask her boobs!

Look, i'll level with you. This isn't the greatest Stelvio Massi film, nor is it the best Maurzio Merli film (although he's a charmer as usual). It takes far too long for an actual plot to emerge from all the comedic bits at the start of the film (Vanni moaning about not getting paid, annoying the cops, pretending to Gastone that he's a rich James Bond type) and when it does the teenage-prostitute angle doesn't quite fit with the funny bits. About half and hour from the end things get more violent and one character is run down by a car in a scene that's shocking in its abruptness, but it's too little too late.

If you know good Italian Eurocrime flicks when you see one, you'll spot the flaws in this one faster than a Poliziotteschi car chase. Despite Maurizio Merli gunning down two goons before the opening credits roll, the stalwart Poliziotteschi leading man doesn't deliver in playing a non-nonsense tough-guy detective that ruthlessly pursues his foes. Instead, he fumbles his way through a chaotic dumpster fire of a script that lacks a coherent narrative or central focus, dangling a few vague plot points that float around like free radicals and then suddenly resurface just when you've nearly forgotten them. Merli shines at rocking a mid-70s mustache and getting the crap beat out of him multiple times, but is continuously denied the opportunity to actually kick ass. He runs away from fights into dead ends, hides with pride, never shoots back, smashes a few windows with convenient (if inexplicable) blunt instruments, and fails to take down the main villain himself. Instead, he's knocked unconscious, AGAIN, leaving the character that cold-cocked him to finish the job themselves. His character, Walter 'Wally' Spada, is bafflingly stupid, failing to see through the obvious and glaring Joan Collins double-cross or the fact that he's getting set up over and over. If this film had been remade in the '90s, it would've starred Roberto Benigni, who'd have fit the role perfectly-the only difference being that with Benigni, the comedy would've been intentional.

This film slots into the Italian 'Polizi' genre, although it's something of a black sheep as the focus is not on police officers or police procedure. The film is still similar to other genre entries, however, and although the lead character is a private detective; he's not really far away from being a police officer. Fearless is directed by Stelvio Massi who previously made the disappointing Polizi flick Emergency Squad with Tomas Milian and went on to make the decent Convoy Busters with the star of this film; Maurizio Merli. The plot in this one focuses on Merli's private detective character who is put on the trail of a missing girl in Austria. After the investigation goes pear shaped, he finds himself on another case; this time revolving around a dead girl and by chance realises that the two are connected. His investigation leads him into the underworld of Austria which is inhabited by several very shady characters and he soon discovers links between the girls he's investigating and a prostitution racket.

The biggest draw of Fearless is undoubtedly the presence of the great Maurizio Merli; he may be just slightly ridiculous, but he has a great screen presence and while most of his screen roles are more than a little bit similar; in this film, he actually gets a chance to show that he has some range and overall it's one of the best performances I've seen from him. The film also stars Joan Collins in her only Polizi flick role as a seductive femme fatale. She looks good and fits into the role well, although it's disappointing that she obviously refused to do a nude scene and the edited nude sequence towards the end is not convincing. The plot itself moves at a steady pace and while it does get a little muddled and hard to follow at times; it manages to remain entertaining throughout, which is to its credit. The film doesn't completely take itself seriously either, and there's plenty of comedy thrown in - particularly during the first half of the film, which actually creates a bit of an odd mood when the film turns darker later on. Fearless is topped off by an excellent score and overall this is a well done and entertaining Italian thriller.