La Bataille des étoiles

There are Bad sci-fi films, there are Rotten sci-fi films, there are even the Worse sci-fi films. However, this film is in the rock-bottom Bad, Rotten and Worst category. The music and the special effects (nothing more than weird, spiraling colors) give you a headache, and the costume designer committed suicide after completing the crew's uniforms. Humans haven't worn hats like that since the 11th century.

But the film has one saving grace. This takes place in two ridiculous scenes where the commanders back on Earth try to brief the press, all of whom act like they are suppose to portray air-headed journalists. With reporters like these assigned to a BIG STORY, only God knows who is handling national local news. I shudder to think, but then we see their like on TV every night.

The absolute best lines in the movie go to the two commanders who, after trying to convince the reporters that Earth is not in trouble but seeing the reporters rush to their communications devices to tell their editors that the end is near, say to each other:

First commander: "They didn't buy it." Second commander: "No way."

This film is so bad it makes David Bowie's The Man Who Fell To Earth look like a science fiction classic.a

Where to begin? The clothes all look like they're from a 30's sci fi film, even though this was made in the 70s. The dubbing is terrible. The plot is almost totally incoherent; it centers around a hothead space captain who believes that he can make better decisions than computers, and therefore is always getting into trouble (though in this film, he's probably right considering that the main computer is called "The Wiz", no kidding!). The characters actions often don't make any sense, like one scene where two crew members die, but everyone else is happy for no good reason. The evil giant robot looks like something they made on purpose to make people laugh, but you're supposed to think it's scary. Throughout everything, the deadly earnest and serious tone of the acting and story just makes the whole experience more surreal and more funny. My favorite scenes: destroying the giant robot/computer, and the space command guys dealing with the reporters. This film is worth seeing with a bunch of friends, with or without any substances that may enhance one's sense of humor!

I never saw this flick either, but it was obvious it was made in the 70's from all the unisex fashion and day-glow colors. It's included on that 50 Sci-Fi movies DVD set...the transfers are so poor the picture is hideously dark and the audio is terrible weak and muddy.

The saving grace of this film is John Richardson (who starred with Raquel Welch in 1,000,000 Years BC) as the outspoken commander of a long-range spaceship. One of the very few people in this flick that can act, his expressions and serious voicing of cornball dialogue keep it interesting just long enough for the scenery to change.

The story is a convoluted mess involving A.I. hatred, paranoia, arrogance, space war, a destroyed civilization and a megalomaniac machine!!! It's hard to follow from scene to scene as people are not identified, photography is terrible, lighting is dark, and no one seems to think for a minute about what's the smart thing to do.

Think of Star Trek done on a shoestring and that's basically it. It's amazing, but the filmmakers do seem to be trying to make something interesting, and the English voice-dubbers seem to have fun with their cheesy lines. It was hard to sit through, but not a waste of time. Call your pals over and do a MST3000 on it!!!

I get a big kick out of these Brescia space movies so sought out "Battle of the Stars". Most of the comments here, and even the plot outline, seem to be about another lovely Brescia movie called "War of the Planets".

"Battle of the Stars" is about an alien invasion of the earth. The Gonians have used up all their natural resources and are now a dying and decaying species. They arrive in their spaceships with their super computer to take over earth and use our healthy bodies to replace their own. With space mummies, the super computer (same prop from War of the Planets!), and their ability to take the shape of trusted humans, the Gonians need to sabotage the Earth defense system before their entire invasion fleet can land. Defense system designer Mike Layton, his pretty girlfriend/scientist Diane, and a couple helpful Gandymedeans are our only hope!

Five stars for being "out there" and fun!

WAR OF THE PLANETS (1977) ½* John Richardson, Yanti Sommer, West Buchanan, Ely King. In this film by Alfonso Brescia (as "Al Bradley"), astronauts land on an alien planet and agree to help its humanoid inhabitants battle a super-computer that has taken over the planet. Even by 1977 standards, the sets, costumes and special effects look badly dated, the dialogue is often incomprehensible and the performances are uniformly languid. The theme of the film--that man shouldn't become too heavily dependent on machines--simply gets lost in the muck. The Italians were never that good at sci-fi, but this movie is truly an embarrassment.