Confessions d'un moniteur de club de vacances

Confessions From a Holiday Camp, the fourth and final film to star Robin Askwith as working class lothario Timmy Lea, fails spectacularly as a comedy, the unsophisticated script resorting to embarrassing racist remarks, crass homophobic jokes, and childish slapstick in a desperate attempt to illicit giggles from its audience.

'So, if it's not all that funny, then why have you rated it so highly?' I hear you ask. The answer: the endless quality British crumpet, of course. The plot, which sees Timmy organising a beauty contest at Camp Funfrall, allows for plenty of bare breasts, some shapely female derrieres, and more bush than Hampton Court Maze. Not only does the lovely Linda Hayden, star of the first Confessions film, return to play foxy French holiday host Brigitte, but we also get sexy brunette Caroline Ellis as yummy Brummie Gladys, Kim Hardy as the camp's tasty announcer, Nicola Blackman as Blackbird, the camp's curvacous Caribbean queen (and, sadly, the brunt of the racist jokes), and busty Janet Edis as a horny MILF.

Unfortunately, there's also rather a lot of Robin Askwith's hairy ass on display, but you can't win 'em all I suppose.

I recently viewed the UK comedy 🇬🇧 Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977) on Tubi. The plot revolves around Tim Lea, now employed at a classic European summer camp, responsible for recruiting talent for an upcoming beauty pageant. His recruitment might go too far, risking the girls' withdrawal from the event over jealousy. Can Tim salvage the situation and successfully carry out the mission?

Directed by Norman Cohen (Burning Rubber), the film features Robin Askwith (Bless this House), Anthony Booth (Corruption), Bill Maynard (Oddball Hall), Linda Hayden (Taste the Blood of Dracula), and Sheila White (Oliver!).

This cheesy UK comedy leans heavily on excuses for splash nudity, full nudity, and numerous shots of naked butts. While a few scenes, like the pool sequence, offer some entertainment, the film often feels like a sequel to Meatballs with a focus solely on the ladies. Even the narration falls into the realm of average.

In conclusion, Confessions from a Holiday Camp boasts appealing ladies but lacks in the comedy department. I would rate it a 4.5-5/10 and recommend it only with the appropriate expectations.

(Butlin's is well know chain of British holiday camps, in case dear reader you are unaware). Randy Timmy Lea and his unfaithful brother-in-law Sid gain employment at a British holiday camp. They organise a beauty contest for "the talent", the young women take it in turns to seduce young Tim in return for improving their chances of winning the competition. This is the fourth and last entry in the "Confessions" series. I have gone about watching them wrong, I enjoyed the first film (Window Cleaner) but then skipped the next two. Got to be honest judging by Holiday Camp I can see why they made no more. It starts off with the song "Give Me England" by The Wurzels, being a fan of them I was impressed. The always likeable Robin Askwith is back as Tim, Anthony Booth is back as Sidney. The lovely British actress Linda Hayden is also back (she was in Cleaner), and as always she is never shy to shed her clothes! The story is set in March and Tim says how cold it is yet holiday makers are sunbathing by the pool and rubbing suntan cream into their bodies so that it a of a contradiction. The comedy comes in two forms. Firstly there is the slapstick, I did laugh out loud a few times but it can also be plain silly. Then there is the sexist, homophobic and racist humour which today would be considered politically incorrect. There is plenty of brief female frontal nudity but the sex scenes are lame. One of my old movie review books described this film as "ghastly". I am sure many people will agree with that, as for me I enjoyed it to an extent but were it not for the nudity and The Wurzels I would have scored it lower than 5/10. I am now interested to see how the middle two movies compare, hopefully they will be better than this one.

I saw this film in 1977, aged 21, stoned, sitting up the back of the Odeon High Street Kensington, with some friends, smoking. And we laughed. We laughed a lot actually. Seeing it on DVD, in my lounge at home, aged 52, on a cold Friday night, by myself - well, surprise, surprise, it wasn't funny anymore. Not only is it of it's time but also of it's place in history. It's cheap, written without much imagination, with no real laughs and with some (by 2008 standards) cringe inducing racism and sexism. But for all that, like Carry On and Doctor films, it is remarkably easy to watch and has a fascinating British charm all of it's own. I suppose the appeal, at it's basic level - is simple. It says that even if you're ignorant, thick and ugly, you only have to smile and sexy women will fall all over you, even to the extent of lining up, five at a time, to hide in your wardrobe. If only real life were like that.

I admit a certain affection for the CONFESSIONS... series of '70s sex comedy, which perfectly captured working class attitudes during that decade, much as the later CARRY ONs did. CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER and CONFESSIONS OF A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR are my favourites, with Askwith's professions lending themselves perfectly to a series of episodic shenanigans.

The last of the quartet is CONFESSIONS FROM A HOLIDAY CAMP, and it really is a last-ditch attempt to wring more money out of audiences. This time around, Askwith and Booth end up working at a dodgy sub-Butlins type place, where girls parade around in the bikinis a lot and end up getting into saucy encounters with a permanently befuddled Askwith.

There are some funny moments here - like the bit with Askwith in the swimming pool - but a lot of it is cringeworthy rather than amusing and the slapstick scenes are very childish. Lance Percival's portrayal of a gay guy is really awful, as are Askwith's off-colour jokes at the expense of a black woman. It's a pity the script is so poor, because there's some top totty here in the form of Liz Fraser and Penny Meredith, but they would have been better served in one of the other, better, instalments.